'Male Bestie Wants Casual Relationship'

Decide on the pros and cons of what you want from this relationship.
If you do go for something casual, detach your emotions, advises rediffGURU Shalini Singh.

• You can post your relationship questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.

Is your partner constantly ignoring your feelings?

Is s/he asking for 'space' in the relationship?

Is it okay to be in a relationship without any attachment or commitment?

If you are single, how do you convey to your parents that you are not ready for marriage?

rediffGURU Shalini Singh, dating coach and founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service, offers advice on issues relating to love and compatibility in marriage, dating and more.

• You can post your questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.

Anonymous: I realised that my boyfriend needs a break from the relationship to fix his life.
He never said it himself but has slowly distanced himself. This is disturbing me.
Should I initiate the break?
How should I prevent myself from contacting him during this break period?
I am worried that the break will turn into a breakup.

First, you need to understand what is disturbing you:

1. The break

2. Or that he wants to fix his life?

You need to know you cannot fix him; you can stand by him and he needs to work on himself.

If he has asked for a break or if he is distancing himself from you, give him the space.

Let him know nicely, without getting emotional, that you know he is distancing himself and that you are around (if he needs to talk).

Ask him if you can contact him during this time. If he says No then respect it.

And if this leads to a breakup, then it is what is. It's unfortunate though.

Anonymous: I have fallen in love with my male best friend and we love each other.
We belong to different castes and both our families are against this relationship. We are unable to leave each other.
He is so obsessed with me that he wants a casual relationship where we'll provide support to each other's feelings until we find our serious partners in the future.
What should I do?
Should we part ways or continue to be with him even though there's no future?
But we love each other more than anything.
Is it good to have a relationship that is more than friendship and less than a relationship?
I really want him but I'm afraid I'll have flashbacks of him. Please help.

I am assuming you are an adult and not a minor.

If you are an adult, you decide on the pros and cons of what you want from this relationship.

If you do go for something casual, detach your emotions.

Secondly, if you indulge in sex, make sure it's safe.

Hi, I am 27, female. My parents are looking for arranged marriage alliances.
I am not looking to get married right now. However, my parents feel pressured and, because of that, I'm feeling pressured.
I kept on saying NO to all the rishtas that have come by taking out one or the other problem in the family or guy. But now this rishta has come where the family is nice and the guy is super nice too.
I'm not able to find any reason to say no to this guy and he seems really interested in me yet I don't want to get married, not at least this year I feel.
I need this year for myself. Moreover, I am in love with someone whom I know I won't be able to get married to.
I want this year with him. I feel I cannot betray my BF and be selfish and say yes to this man just because he feels fine to me to get married to.
Next year I have decided to give in to my parents' demands.
Also, the man I am dating is wonderful. It's just that we cannot get married because of our age gap.
He is 10 years older than me and he never wants to get married.
He knows what he wants.
I am in such a dilemma. What should I do? I feel trapped.

If you are really looking for suggestions, here they are:

1. Shut all doors with the man who you are dating; you should know you have no future with him.

2. Get to know the man you have been introduced to.

Tell him that you wish to know him for a year before you marry him. And let him know your plans about how you wish to know him through the year.

All the best.

• You can post your relationship questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.

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