Are you confused about choosing between two people in love with you?
Is a third party wrecking your marriage?
In a chat with Get Ahead readers on August 7, the Love Guru addressed many such problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the unedited transcript.
Love Guru says, Hi there, folks! Welcome to the Love Guru chat. Time to sort out all affairs of the heart!
shalu asked, hi guru,i have strange problem,i am 27 year old in love with 33 year old divorcee,all is well but his divorcee status keeps my parents to think a lot,because they think if i marry a divorceee people and relatives will think that the girl have some problem thats why she is marrying a divorcee.even sometime i am scare about this.i don,t know what to do.sometime parents agree and some disagree.is it that bad for a unmarried girl to marry a divorcee in this society.plz help me sir.i know my parents will agree ,but how can we cope up with society.
Love Guru answers, Don't give a thought to society. It's your future happiness that's important. See, there's something you and your parents need to realise. Sometimes marriage doesn't work out for people. That doesn't make them bad people. It happens because of incompatibility. So stop talking like your fiance has done something shameful and realise that he's just another person! Anyone who's intelligent will realise that. Just because a few foolish, narrow-minded people will comment on it doesn't mean you don't do what feels right.
trxx asked, i hacked into my wife's mail and found explicit conversations with her ex almost a month before our marriage. she always claimed he is just a friend.
i didnt find any such conversations after marriage.maybe she used some other account.i confronted her, she was apologetic but now i dont trust her at all.she continued to stay in touch with him after marriage.what the heck do i do
Love Guru answers, Look, you have a problem trusting people -- else you wouldn't have hacked into your wife's account in the first place -- and your wife isn't someone who can be trusted, apparently. Maybe she cut off these intimate relations after she married you, but you probably won't believe her. Ask why she's remained in touch with him. By any chance, was she forced to marry you? Then maybe your whole wedding was a mistake. If both of you want to make the marriage work, visit a couples counsellor.
subhash asked, hi
I have a problem.I am in love with a girl and she wants to marry me.I also too wants to marry her.But my parents are against me .they say if u marry her,then leave me .I am earning 40k per month.But i dont know what to do..I am in tesnion and worried
Love Guru answers, Your parents should know better than to give you ultimatums like that. Why are they so against this girl? If you are 100 percent sure of your feelings for her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, tell your parents that they should respect your decision and if not, that's their problem. It's understandable that you're in tension, but if your parents have any common sense they'll come around eventually.
nitin asked, Hii guru, i am 35 and my wife 39 . these days she does not seems to be interested in sex. kindly advise how to about it
Love Guru answers, It's nothing that an honest conversation with her won't fix. Has she just had a child? Women often don't feel like sex for a while after a child. In any case, woo her romantically also. Take her out for a romantic date, buy her flowers, tell her she looks beautiful. Initiate it subtly and if it doesn't work, ask her frankly what the matter is.
Roshan asked, I m in love with gal since its 3 years now on i have broke with her but still i love her but she didnt even married and i heard that her marriage is fixed i dont want to loose her and need her back into my life what can i do?
Love Guru answers, Roshan, if you loved this girl so much why did you leave her? Approach her and tell her how you feel. Maybe she will call off her wedding if she really loves you. But don't be surprised if she doesn't trust you anymore -- if she says she wants to marry her fiance, back off for good.
Anuj asked, hi guru,
i am in love with a girl since an year and i have been expressing it through my care for her but not explicitly. She never speaks much and doesn't express anything. How should I convey anything to her or first get to know whether I should convey or is there a feeling or chances of hurting her in any way.
Love Guru answers, There's more chance of you getting hurt than her -- what if she turns you down? In any case, you can take a chance -- but from her behaviour towards you, it doesn't look like she feels the same way. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained -- so take that small risk and tell her how you feel.
DM asked, Hi LG, I need ur help. I m restless these day. I was with a gal from more than one year. When we are dating she said nothing is possible for future. So I have decided not to go for her. In this time someone else come to my life. But my ex is wanting me to return to her. She is nt listening to any one. She has once attempt to suicide for this. And she is saying if i will not with her, than she will do that again in future. I M CONFUSED, how to handle her.
Love Guru answers, Do you love her or do you love your present girlfriend? If you don't want to be with her anymore, don't be blackmailed into a relationship with her again. First tell her gently that you have fallen for someone else and she should accept that -- she can't force you to love her. If that doesn't work, notify her parents and the police about her suicidal threats and tendencies.
max asked, How to revive a broken relationship, in which both us of still loves each other. but got separated due to family resons.
Love Guru answers, Decide to make a fresh start and start living in a house of your own, without family members from either side interfering.
Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh
(Advice from the Love Guru does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.)
Also read: 'My boyfriend is forcing me to convert'
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