Another anonymous tale:

This guy Mahesh Kumar met me at my cousins' place. He was a common friend of all four cousins of mine for more than 7-8 years and even went to the same school and college with them. He stayed with them quite a number of times and took off from work to attend to my uncle when he fell work. He was always considered as the fifth son my uncle and aunt never had.

His Mum (he has no Dad) also became close to my uncle and aunt. He was a Captain in the Indian Army and resigned after the Kargil War. My uncle got him a job in a Central Govt company Cochin Refineries as a Security Officer. He has seen me on our visits to my relatives' place and although we have had our food over the same dining table with my cousins and at a few functions, we have never talked to or smiled at each other. But he fell in love with me (so he told my cousins) and wanted to marry me. But my cousins did not give a serious thought to for the simple reason that unlike me he was not professionally qualified though my aunt told my Mum about him. He kept putting off proposals that came for him.

When my Dad passed away and Mum was frantically looking out for proposals for me in vain (I was nearing 27), my cousins and aunt brought forward this proposal once again as they knew him very well and was sure that he would be a very supporting son to my Mum especially as we missed Dad's support. He was also very spiritual. So, although I was first reluctant to marry a person who was nearly 8 years older to me, I agreed. He came for the girl seeing formalities and everything was fixed. One of my cousins even told me that he was better than they four brothers put together.

We had a gap of about 5 months before we were supposed to get married. However, just like most others, we had daily chats over the phone. And slowly, I realised that I too had fallen in love with him. My Mum was very happy. Once he asked me if I had any other proposals than came up. I told him that there was the proposal of a guy called Anand (when my Dad was around). In fact, it almost materialised but in two weeks time of knowing and speaking to each other, we found a lot of differences and by mutual consent before things proceeded we called it off. He then asked me how my Dad passed away. I told him the details about the same and added that I would like to meet the driver of the bus who caused that accident just to ask him what he gained while we lost.

Let me tell you at this point, I was not around while the accident occurred; it was my Mum and sis with him. A few days later, he asked me quite unexpectedly if I felt there was any justice in this world. I replied in the negative as I felt it from my Dad's case. The accident was because of no fault of his but I lost him for ever. To this date, I don't know what was wrong in what I said, but from then on his conversations changed and the affection was lost. I once asked him about the indifferent attitude and he said that he was just worried what would happen if either Anand or the driver came in search of me and that I should have told him of Anand earlier. I later knew that he was aware of Anand earlier but didn't care about it. I just could not understand this absurdity.

Slowly he stopped calling me up. Whenever, I used to call him up, he would talk rudely and I would end up crying. But, I did not let my Mum know all this as I did not want her to be upset. However, his Mum realised something was up but I denied it when she asked me. I was sure that he still loved me and things would be alright after marriage. He began behaving differently at my uncle's place and he asked my aunt to find out from my mother if anything was wrong. It was then I burst out unable to control anything. He had told my uncle that though he loved me, I didn't return it. This was far from the truth.

Things worsened and my uncle told my Mum and sis to come over immediately before anything else could take place before the wedding. However, all purchases for the wedding, from the sari to the thaali to the mandapam fixing were done. All my dresses were also ready. I only had to get his name done on my wedding ring. Even the cards were ready to be sent to everyone. My uncle and aunt had even taken the pains of booking their tickets from New Zealand.

We immediately left for Coimbatore to another aunt's place from Chennai and were supposed to go to Kerala in two days to meet my Uncle. While at Coimbatore, he called me up and started talking angrily. He wouldn't allow me to say anything and said that everything was a complete mess and finally he called it off.

He said that he didn't know how he would face his friends. Wasn't it worse for me? How would I face his friends who were my cousins? Wasn't that a deeper relationship? He who had kept pressing my cousins for this to happen did this. I told my Mum what happened and she told my Uncle everything. We met at his place and he had asked Mahesh also to come over with his brother. My cousin and his wife tried to make him see reason but he didn't care to listen. I too tried pleading with him but to no avail.

Finally, everything was put off. His Mum with whom also I used to talk frequently did not even apologise to my Mum. I felt really hurt. When Mahesh wished me Good Luck for the future and a happy married life, I told him that Good Luck was for friends and challenged him that he would see me after a year still unmarried. I won in this challenge. And I am sure; his conscience must have pricked him. Just as fiercely as I said this, I broke down immediately after he left as I still LOVED him very much and hoped he would re-think and come back.

I went into a state of depression and even underwent psychological counselling to help me come to normal. I stopped trusting men and put off looking for proposals for nearly 2.5 years. Later on, my Mother told me that there was no need for me to mention about Mahesh to any guy who came to see me. But, if Mahesh could ditch me for just a 2 week get-to-know Anand and a driver whom I had never seen, wasn't it likely another Mr X could ditch me for Mahesh with whom the marriage proceedings had gone a long way? I disagreed with her on this and said that the guy who comes to see me needs to know all this and he can take his decision after that.

So, when there was a proposal from this guy Krishnan, my Mum vaguely told his Mum that I had a break up which came close to finalising. His Mum didn't mind it at all and Krishnan came to see me. I didn't tell him anything but when he once asked me over our phone chats if I have had any boy friends, with a thumping heart, I told him about Mahesh and all that I have told you. Having told him, I felt at ease that I had nothing to hide from him and began loving him from that moment. Till then though we had laughs over our chats, I was always worried inside "What if he knew would he be the same to me" and kept myself limited to formal talks.

I was waiting for a reply "Why didn't you tell me before?" But, what I heard at the other end was a loud laugh and said that he did not care the least bit about it and all that he wanted was that I should love him unconditionally. He just asked me this because he sensed the aloof nature in me while I talked and sensed that I had something within me unsaid but wanted to.

A month before my marriage to Krishnan was fixed; I unexpectedly had a mail from Mahesh proposing again after three years. I was shocked, but Krishnan told me to take it cool and asked me to say that he could not propose to a married lady.

Today six months down the lane, I am married to this loving guy Krishnan and we are more of best friends than husband-wife. We have had ups and downs but cannot think of a day without each other in our lives. Yet, deep within me, I just cannot forget Mahesh for one simple thing. He taught me the lesson that we have no right to play with others' lives.

I did not ask for Mahesh, did I? He kept on at it and won his way. I had never once asked for him and had always just silently minded my affairs without treading on his way. Yet, why was I trampled on so badly? He won his way from the start to the end. I was reminded of the saying "To gain something, you have to lose something". So, I thought his gain must have been my loss. But, now I realised that my loss only paved way to help me achieve a gain far beyond I could ever think of. Thank you my dear Kris

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