Please do not publish my name and I really do not know if you would want to publish this story but here I am writing:

I am not a very good looking girl, but was very gregarious and out going. Always laughing and playing. I used to mostly serve as the intermediaries between my friends and their lovers (if I can call them that) as they were too shy. I never even tried or found out if someone was in love with me as I knew I was not too good locking and had a loud voice for a girl (that's what everybody told me).

But yes, one guy was really interested in me and I did not realise that. He kept taking the names of my friend and I even told them about it and everybody would laugh. After I got married came the biggest shock, they told me he was completely heartbroken as he loved me. He used my friend's names to try and make me jealous, I never understood that. That chapter ended there.

But my married life was a shock. My husband is very good. But very indifferent. His sister had a bad first marriage (although she is re-married and very happy now) and all his family members including him would always taunt me saying you know nothing but happiness while she has suffered. Even till this day, I am supposed to do only what she says. My husband never comes out with me anywhere to a hotel or a movie.

He is very dark, while I am very fair. The reason I married him was he would not comment on my looks. But I was wrong. Everybody in his family have some problem or the other with me and my weight (I am not fat but well built). I have tried breaking away thrice from this marriage, but to no avail. I can't see what I like, eat what I like. If I want to talk to him he does not listen and prefers to watch TV or read a book.

At times he feels bad for me and if at all he takes me out, he keeps telling me that he took me out. Till today I don't remember him getting me anything even a dress unless he is asked to by his parents and sister (which is only twice in my 7 years.)

The only thing I have today is HOPE. At least for my child sake I do not want to break this marriage. Someday I hope he will release that I am human being with feelings at least before I die. I have tried and ignored a lot but.....

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