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'I feel alone, sad, depressed and betrayed'

September 04, 2015 08:02 IST

"Acceptance and rejection are a part of life, there's nothing to be afraid of"

"Stop moping around... and get back on your life"

Rediff.com's Love Guru has answers to all your relationship problems.

In an online chat every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru addresses relationship problems and attempts to offer earnest solutions.

For those who missed the chat on September 3, here's the transcript:


deshpande vishwajeet: I love a girl .... but she is elder than me. She also loves me but she is not ready to talk freely. What should I do now?

Love Guru: Deshpande Vishwajeet, there is no free talk, all conversation is charged, whether on landline or mobile phone.

One person has to pay the price. But I find it amazing that for someone who is not ready to talk freely, she has told you she loves you!


N R Sharma: She says, want to be with me. However, since, the time she has conveyed the same to her husband, he is being very supportive to her and does not want her to leave.

She isn't getting a chance to come out of her present relationship ( husband), how does she tackle him and the situation.

Love Guru: N R Sharma, when you say she is not getting a chance to come out of her present relationship, you mean what exactly?

Is the muhurat not right or something? Are you sure she is not stringing you along? I mean, if she has decided to leave her husband, what can be stopping her except for her own lack of desire?


Nitoo: I have relations with one rich school teacher. She sends Whatsapp good morning and good night messages -- we've never met -- she always start and stops messages -- what should I think , she like me or not

Love Guru: Nitoo, are you sure you are not part of the same WhatsApp group as this school teacher which is why you are getting her messages?

Otherwise don't you think it's odd she should be sending such messages to someone she has never met?


Mitul Shah: Hi, My self Mitul I am simple person but don't know why I cant make any girl to my friend or girl friend.

Please help me on this what should I do..I am serious for that i want serious relationship for lifetime.

Love Guru: Mitul Shah, maybe your approach is all wrong.

Maybe you are approaching girls with the notion of wanting a serious relationship, which communicates itself and is putting off people.

I mean, relationships are organic, they happen, you can't force them to happen just because you want it.

So my advice is, drop that attitude, be normal with girls around you, and you will find that all goes well


Tina Roy: I am going through a break up now. It was 9-yr-long relation.

We were together in a live in relation but he was also dating other girls from last 2 years.

One girl called me (she knew abt me always but I wasnt aware of her). It was such a big shock for me that i had to get hospitalised .

Now I am trying to move on. But it is so difficult for me. He was in every where now suddenly there is a big hole.

I feel alone, sad, depressed and betrayed. I am not a coward I will not kill myself but I am not able to live as well.

I surely don't want him back cause I don't trust him any more but what should I do? How to find a reason to live?

Love Guru: Tina Roy... so your raison d'etre was your boyfriend?

Come on, there's more to life than pinning it on a person's presence or absence in one's life.

I don't mean to take away the 9 good years (okay, 7 good years) you spent with him, but be glad it's over when it's over.

It could've been worse. So please grieve its end, get it all out, and shut the door on it. There's more to life, you'll find out


shivneri: Hi guys ditch their wives for younger women ..nowadays...will females marry guys..it's so much nowadays..men constantly flirt with girls half their age even when they are married with kids..is this the end of marriage.

Love Guru: Shivneri,I see your point but I am sure what your issue is? If you have a relationship issue, do let me know


Vaibhav Pathrikar: Hi, I'm vaibhav I have very serious problem with my marriage. My wife under the influence of her parents went back to her native. And now she does not want to come back unless I leave my parents.

I cannot quit my parents or wife. I love her so much. I tried going to her place to have discussion, I called her also. she neither wants to quit nor she wants to continue.

Love Guru: Vaibhav Pathrikar, my sympathies over your plight, I can imagine what you are going through, torn between parents and wife who doesn't want to live with them.

What is your parents' take in all this, I am curious to know. Anyway, have you thought of meeting your wife midway?

Maybe the solution to your problem is to find a place close to your parents' house, thereby you are at hand, yet on your own.


anand: I'm in love with a girl of my collage and right now she is in Bangalore.

Problem is she is also in love with me but she is not ready for my marriage her father wants only an IAS or IPS as her husband where I'm working in an MNC as an engineer.

Please tell me how to convince her father about my love where i have no interested in civils.

Love Guru: Anand, I am afraid you alone cannot convince her father, your girlfriend too has to be involved in it.

Have you met her parents? If you have not, you cannot blame them for thinking that you are some wastrel, and not an engineer with an MNC earning a decent sum.

It always helps to know the partner's parents, they also find it reassuring to put a face to the name.


vikki thorat: Sir my gf is ignoring mewhat should i do i love her so much

Love Guru: Vikki Thorat, although she is ignoring you, I presume she has not broken up with you as yet?

If she has not, she soon will if instead of asking her what is wrong and what you can do, you continue to seek advice from others including me.

Please don't waste any more time, talk to her and find out what is ailing her, and do the needful to set the situation right, since you say you love her so much


aim: I saw a young girl in bank she is bank officer sum good communication between us now i want to propose her suggest me

Love Guru: Aim, good to know you saw a young girl bank officer in a bank.

When you say 'good communication' between the two of you, I presume you went there on banking-related work, something she is hired to communicate well on.

Don't jump to any conclusions from that, please, or rush to propose to her, it may have the opposite effect in fact.


hemant maurya: Hi Sir, I'm so much of worry I proposed a girl but she is not interested in me what should I do?

Love Guru: Hemant Maurya, so you proposed to a girl, so she said she was not interested in you. So is that the end of your world? No, right?

So stop moping around, you've done enough of moping about over this, and get back on your life.

Acceptance and rejection are a part of life, there's nothing to be afraid of or lose one's self-esteem.


Love Guru: Thank you all for being here, let's chat next Thursday at 3 pm!


Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

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Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)

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