"Bear in mind too, that more than the visual, it is your personalities that need to draw the other."
"Love between two adults is not a crime, it is only when either of the parties or both is a minor that it becomes a crime.
"So my advice to youngsters would be to not break the law in their haste to get married."
Rediff.com's Love Guru has answers to all your relationship problems.
In an online chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru addresses relationship problems and attempts to offer solutions.
For those who missed the chat on August 6, here's the unedited transcript:
Abhishek: I have been chatting with a nice girl, she is 5.5 years younger than me.
We have seen the pics of each other, and like each other.
Now, I have little fear in mind that, will we both like each other after meeting.
Because, we have just seen pics of each other , will our feeling be same even after seeing each other
Love Guru: Abhishek, really sorry but my expertise doesn't extend to predicting the future.
However, my point is, if neither has cheated with the photographs and what both of you have seen is the real thing, then there should be nothing to worry.
Bear in mind too, that more than the visual, it is your personalities that need to draw the other.
vinit-mittal: Me and the girl to whom I love she has turned off into love and doesn't talk to me very much.
I tried to convince her but she doesnt able to understand what happened to her.
Love Guru: Vinit-Mittal, from your question it is hard to know whether the love you speak of was one-sided, or if both of you were in a relationship.
Assuming you both were, it is okay if she doesn't feel the same way now, everyone has the right to change their minds.
While I can understand and sympathise with your plight, it's best your respect her decision and let her be
rohit: I love my gf very much but 3 months ago we broke off and she got new BF.
Now I am sorry for that mistake and wanna marry with her. She ignores me and don't wanna talk to me. What do I do? suggest me
Love Guru: Rohit, looks like you muffed your chances, and since she's moved on, it will be good if you too do the same.
Yeah, yeah, Hindi films show that she is never happy with her new life and longs for the old boyfriend but alas, that's not how it happens in real life.
The fact that she is ignoring you should tell you how she feels.
venkatalakshmi: hi how we can know the other is in love with us?
Love Guru: Venkatalakshmi, one must be blind, and I don't mean it in the literal sense of the word, to not know when the person is in love with us, just as it is obvious when the person is not in love with us.
bharath: I loved a girl now she is married and having kids.
I have called her 3 to 4 times whenever I remember her.
She was OK to talk to me. But one day her brother called me up and started threatening me over the phone.
They are actually my relatives. How to resolve this issue. Pls advice. thanks
Love Guru: Bharath, what do you expect me to tell you?
How to make phone calls to a married woman?
Obviously it's not okay with her as you can see from her brother calling you up.
If you persist in your behaviour, not only will it affect her marriage, it will also cause trouble for you.
So my advice is, stay off her life, and go after your own life
Jitendra Maiti: Hi, there is other side of love. Love is crime as per Indian law.
Many love marriages are stuck in every judicial court for kidnap and rape charges.
We all know those are not kidnap or rape. But end numbers of young boys and girl’s carrier and future smashed by Indian police and law.
What is your advice to prevent those youngsters?
Love Guru: Jitendra Maiti, I am learning for the first time that love is a crime under Indian law and that many love marriages are stuck in courts.
Love between two adults is not a crime, it is only when either of the parties or both is a minor that it becomes a crime.
So my advice to youngsters would be to not break the law in their haste to get married
Abhinay Kumar-Shaw: LG, Chat between me and my Love converts into arguments oftenly on silly issues.
Love Guru: Abhinay Kumar-Shaw, looks like both of you need to sit down and, without argument, examine what is wrong, and make it an honest exercise.
It could be due to something trivial, or point to some major issue that is brewing under the surface because it has never come out in the open. But both of you need to do it.
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
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Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
