'Have a calm and open conversation with your wife to understand her perspective,' suggests rediffGURU Dr Ashish Sehgal.
'Share your feelings and needs honestly and listen to hers as well. See if there's a way to improve communication and build a more supportive relationship.'
Is your spouse mistreating you?
Are you struggling to get over your ex?
What can you do to improve your relationship with your partner, your wife and/or kids?
rediffGuru Dr Ashish Sehgal, a neuro linguistic programming (NLP) trainer and life coach who has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor, can help you with your concerns.
Hi, I am 51 and have three kids. I am a kidney patient.
My wife is not treating me well. I used to visit home after 2-3 months but she is not happy with me.
Finally, I left home with a broken heart every time.
I am doing everything that's possible for the family, financially as well as emotionally.
Now my kids are also following the mother. What to do? I am frustrated always.
I understand that you're in a very difficult situation and feeling frustrated.
It's admirable that you're trying your best to provide for your family financially and emotionally while dealing with your health challenges.
However, the lack of support and understanding from your wife and children must be incredibly painful.
Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this challenging situation:
1. Try talking to a therapist or a counsellor
Talking to a professional can help you process your emotions, understand your options and develop coping mechanisms to deal with the stress.
2. Connect with support groups
There are support groups for kidney patients and for families dealing with chronic illness.
These groups can provide valuable emotional support and connect you with others who understand what you're going through.
3. Reach out to friends and family
Talk to trusted friends and family members about what's happening. Their support and understanding can be a source of strength.
4. Talk to your wife
If possible, have a calm and open conversation with your wife to understand her perspective.
Share your feelings and needs honestly and listen to hers as well. See if there's a way to improve communication and build a more supportive relationship.
5. Talk to your children
Have open and honest conversations with your children.
Explain your health condition and the challenges you're facing.
Encourage them to express their feelings and concerns as well.
6. Try couples therapy
If you and your wife are willing, couples therapy can help you improve communication, address resentments and work towards a more positive relationship.
8. Family therapy
Family therapy can help all of you communicate more effectively, understand each other's needs, and develop healthier family dynamics.
9. Engage in self-care
Meanwhile, you must take care of yourself. Prioritise your health.
Manage your kidney disease properly by following your doctor's instructions.
Find time for activities you enjoy, such as exercise, hobbies or spending time in nature.
Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is crucial during this challenging time.
10. Explore legal options
If the situation is not improving, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and options regarding visitation with your children or separation from your wife.
Remember, you are not alone in this. There are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time.
Do not hesitate to reach out for support and take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.
Anonymous: Hello Dr Sehgal, my wife has separated for her personal priorities, citing physical abuse. How can I win her back?
I am sorry to hear that your wife has separated from you.
It's important to understand that abuse is never okay and it's never the victim's fault.
If you're looking for help to understand your situation and how to heal, I would encourage you to seek professional help.
Hi. I am Sumeet I am happily married. I love my wife and our two kids.
I had a female friend in our engineering college I had a crush on her and I have told her this. She is happily married and I am very happy for her.
I was in touch with her but now somehow our companies in which we work have joint ventures and we both are working on the same project.
Initially, she was nice to me but one day, we had a photo session and I decided to click one with her.
I simply patted her shoulder for the photo click but she got too angry and I apologised to her for the whole day.
She did not talk properly henceforth.
But I felt like a molester. So I visited a psychiatrist who asked me to forget the incident and move on.
Now she does not talk to me nicely. I don't know what to do.
Understandably, this situation with your former college friend is causing you stress and confusion.
However, it's important to acknowledge that touching someone without their consent, even if unintentional, is never acceptable.
Even though you meant no harm, respecting your friend's boundaries and understanding her reaction is crucial.
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