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Chindu Sreedharan in New York
A decade ago, in another life, Kamal Bijlani was a man of the world -- a husband, a professional who made "lots of money," who ate meat, loved his occasional drink, lived life as it came.
Bijlani, now 42, has changed. He is a brahmachari [celibate], eats only vegetarian food, doesn't drink.
He has no worldly possessions, he says, having sold everything in 1996, when he renounced the world and came to live in Mata Amritanandamayi's ashram.
Bijlani says it was a decision he and his wife -- she, Bhavani from Andhra Pradesh, too, is a celibate now -- arrived at spontaneously.
Bhavani was a Mata Amritanandamayi devotee even before. She took him to meet her in 1993, when the 'hugging saint' came to Boston, where the family -- he, a computer engineer, and she, a postgraduate in physics -- had settled down.
"The first meeting," says Bijlani, "wasn't very spiritual. But it prompted us to go to Amma's ashram in Kerala the next year. And there, it happened."
The 'it' being an "overwhelming" feeling that they belonged there. The couple returned to Boston. A year on, they sold off everything and moved to the ashram.
"When I look at that decision rationally it doesn't make sense," Bijlani says. "It wasn't the kind of thing that anybody in their right mind would do...But it was spontaneous, natural, and so extraordinarily strong that it just happened."
The couple started living at the ashram. Two years on, they graduated to another level when they took up celibacy.
"There are over 400 celibates in the ashram, most of them in their 20s," he says. "We were spending our time with them. Gradually, we also felt a need to be like them."
Bijlani says he is content with his new life. The ashram rules allow him to go back to his wife, if they so choose ("Amma only points the way, she doesn't force anyone into anything"), but he is sure that will not happen.
Wherefrom such conviction? Bijlani isn't sure. "Maybe it is just faith in Mother, or the belief this is the right way.
"We [his wife and he] know each other as a brother and sister now, we have a more meaningful relationship. When you don't want to grab the other person, and you let her be totally free, you have a more beautiful connection."
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