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Rediff.com  » Sports » Heard the latest Suarez jokes? Here they are...
This article was first published 10 years ago

Heard the latest Suarez jokes? Here they are...

Last updated on: June 25, 2014 18:30 IST

Image: Snickers was quick to put out this image following the Suarez bite.

Social media went berserk with jokes about Uruguay’s Luis Suarez sinking his teeth into Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini during the two teams’ decisive World Cup group D game last night. Here’s a sample:

Alexander Grayson (‏@AColdVengeance) tweeted: I would just like to state that Luis Suarez is in no way affiliated to any Vampire network I am aware of...he's just a disgrace to football!

Sid (‏@sidmallya) tweeted: England may have gotten out of their group had they had the same hunger as Suarez....

SNICKERS® (@SNICKERS) tweeted: Hey @luis16suarez. Next time you're hungry just grab a Snickers. #worldcup #luissuarez #EatASNICKERS

Russell Brand (‏@rustyrockets) tweeted: Suarez! Your teeth are already prominent, stop biting people! It's like @GaryLineker attacking people with his ears.

Jamie Ross (‏@JamieRoss7) tweeted: This angle of Suarez is brutal. Beginning to suspect he's one of those pacy 28 Days Later zombies and posted a .gif file (http://a.pomf.se/phdzcy.gif)

?????? (‏@abbeylinegold) tweeted: luis Suarez has a nasty habit of biting his opponents, maybe he needs a deterrent...

Purba Ray (‏@Purba_Ray) tweeted: Had Suarez been using Vicco Vajradanti, he would have left with a piece of Giorgio in his mouth.

Jal Kukdi )‏@Jal_Kukdi) tweeted: Meanwhile, Digvijay Singh is feeling jealous of Suarez. Suarez being a human did what Diggy has always dreamed of.

Caroline Hofman (‏@CearuilinH) tweeted: Luis #Suarez has just come out saying that he hopes to play against Germany because he'd like to try a shoulder of Lahm... #WorldCup2014

The Clown Prince (‏@ClownPrinceG) tweeted: Luis Suarez leaves his mark, on both World Cup and Chiellini.

Anurag Shrivastava (‏@hrnext) tweeted:  I don't think Suarez has a girl friend. At least not a living one.

The UnReal Times (‏@TheUnRealTimes) tweeted: COMIC: When Luis Suarez went for a dental checkup... #FIFAWorldCup #Suarez #ITAvsURU (with pic: pic.twitter.com/AFhoOGVGA2)

Raja Sen (‏@RajaSen) tweeted:  Woke up to a trashy vampire movie on tv. Fright Night. Silly but just can't stop watching. Perhaps it's a Suárez hangover.

Heard the latest Suarez jokes? Here they are...


Auburn Jokes™ ‏@AuburnJokes tweeted: BREAKING: Suarez could be expelled by FIFA after biting an opponent. Other News: Auburn is now recruiting Suarez to be their new kicker.

Adam Kramer ‏@KegsnEggs tweeted: [Suarez sheepishly sits down next to Billy the 3rd grader in a folding chair outside the principal’s office] “You too, bro?"

Manjeet SING :Dahiya ‏@BeingMSD tweeted: At an Inauguration:"Sir please Cut the ribbon"Suarez: Ok :)"wait sir, we've got the Scissor"

Professor ‏@BeerOholic tweeted: You should never get on to the field feeling hungry, hunger for goals are fine though! #suarez

Jacquie Beltrao ‏@SkyJacquie tweeted: Back in the studio with @EamonnHolmes on Sunrise this morning - lots of sport to get my teeth into !? (Sorry) Thoughts on Suarez & England

The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge tweeted: Suarez biting Chiellini was completely disgusting - he should've shown better taste than that

Richie McCaw ‏@RichieHMcCaw tweeted: **BREAKING NEWS** Food critic Luis Suarez confirms: Italians taste better than Serbians.

Ramesh Srivats ‏@rameshsrivats tweeted: FIFA to investigate whether Suarez bit Chiellini. They hope to uncover the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

Trending ‏@TrendKE tweeted: CONGRATULATIONS: Luis Suarez retains the award for the second successive year. (See image)

Ashwin S Kumar ‏@ashwinskumar tweeted: Football needs an Ashish Nehra to scare the likes of Suarez.

Bhak Sala ‏@bhak_sala tweeted: Suarez couldn't leave a mark on the football match, so he decided to leave one on the shoulder of Chelliani

CJ Werleman ‏@cjwerleman tweeted: In Suarez's defense, it would have looked worse if he licked that dude

David ‏@SaidbyDavid tweeted: FIFA will decide course of action for Suarez's awful crime, Right after they're done match fixing and turning a blind eye to slavery #Qatar

Sanjay Patel ‏@spat106 tweeted: Luis Suárez's ability to beat defenders is only surpassed by his ability to eat defenders.

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Heard the latest Suarez jokes? Here they are...


Junyi, ?? ‏@omgitsjy tweeted: Suarez (Swa-rezz) adjective extremely hungry; famished; voracious e.g I am feeling Suarez right now that I can eat a cow. CC @hellofrmSG

Matt Hamilton ‏@hamiltonboxing tweeted: If Snickers don't reach out & sign Luis Suarez up for one of those "you're not yourself when you're hungry" ads, they're failing #BanSuarez

Patrice Cloutier ‏@patricecloutier tweeted: I'll say it again...we should forgive #suarez because he's bi-molar...

David Kay On A&E TV ‏@Texasbrits tweeted: Sometimes things get lost in translation #3lions "I love eating Italian" (good sentence) "I love eating Italians" (bad sentence) #Suarez

Karthik Kumar ‏@evamkarthik tweeted: i told you guys that this Football thing is a semma 'kadi' and no one believed me! #Suarez #ItaliaUruguay

Mark Joyella ‏@standupkid  tweeted: Delivering a knee to the testicles of an opposing player, while spitting in his face would be elegant and refined compared to Luis Suarez.

garoto de caipirinha ‏@Gooner_Lopez tweeted: "If Luis Suarez were a dog he would have been put down by now" - my wife.

Josh Rose ‏@josh_rose3 tweeted: What is Suarez thinking? Surely Uruguay's pre match meal can't be that bad. #eggsandbeans #shoulder

Hannibal Lecter ‏@Dr_LecterMD tweeted: Suarez, go back to football. That's my shtick you're taking. #Hannibal

telegraph_sport ‏@telegraph_sport tweeted: #Suarez how we see Italian food, how he sees it. (See image)

Força Portugal ‏@HALA_MADRIDLOVE tweeted: If I was rich and I had a huge house I wouldn't even want a guard dog I'd just buy Luis Suarez

Gordon ‏@gorayfle tweeted: Hannibal Season 3 Episode 1: Hannibal's plane lands in Liverpool where he meets up with Luis Suarez.

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Heard the latest Suarez jokes? Here they are...


Stephen Colbert ‏@StephenAtHome tweeted: Uruguay's Luis Suarez bit an opponent in the World Cup. But at least he didn't use his hands.

Skip Bayless ‏@FunSkipBayless tweeted: Luis Suarez's wife is happy she didn't have to make dinner tonight since he already had Italian earlier.

CJ Werleman ‏@cjwerleman  tweeted: Spent most of today paranoid Suarez was standing behind me.

Steve Brisendine ‏@SteveBrisendine tweeted: Pizza for the pregame. Looks like Suarez won't be the only one sinking his teeth into something Italian today.

Dr Brian Ironwood ‏@DrBrianIronwood tweeted: Maybe #Suarez had been told before the game that Chiellini had a chip on his shoulder.

Paddy ‏@Paddy_Robo  tweeted: Just remember Luis Suarez hasn't killed, butted, karate kicked anyone or slept with his brothers wife or hacked a dead girls phone.

Christian Antidormi ‏@CAntidormi tweeted: I don't understand why Suarez doesn't eat before he goes on the pitch. #ITAURU #WorldCup

Jeb Brovsky ‏@JebBrovsky tweeted: Suarez needs to go vegetarian... c'mon man.

Matthew Roberts ‏@matt77roberts tweeted: The main problem with English football: we don't have a player as hungry as Luis Suarez

Ian Beale ‏@_IanBeale tweeted: I wish they'd release Suarez into the Big Brother house