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'He was sensitive and told terrible jokes' Maria Luiza Henriques Chandy, 25 Half English, half Portuguese. Born and brought up in the UK Married to Sunil Chandy, music and worship leader, Methodist Church, Bangalore I met Sunil in college in London in 1999. I liked him; he was sensitive and told terrible jokes. We had similar interests. We saw each other until we graduated. He did not want to get involved if the relationship would end with him returning to India. Neither of us wanted to get hurt in the end. So the whole relationship was based on the possibility that I would have to make the move to India. I came to India with Sunil in 2001 for a six-week holiday. It was my |
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first trip and I wanted to see how it would go. We travelled to Kerala. At the end of the trip, I was willing to try moving to India.
We got married in the UK and I arrived in India on November 1, 2002. I love the people here. I love the food. I enjoy travelling and the pace of life. It was relatively easy for me to make the change because I was used to living between two cultures. Just because you dress differently and talk differently, it does not mean you are a different person. There is no major difference in the way I dress or keep my house. I also have a very good support system in Sunil's family and friends. It is not correct to say the only thing that matters is love and you don't have to think about the decision of moving to another country. You have to consider all things; you cannot exclude the background. It is a huge move. Sunil is the same person I love dearly, but he is different in certain ways when he is in England. I too have changed in certain ways here. I think we have to think about these things because marriage is for life. I am a housewife at the moment. I've spent the last year adjusting and getting around. I've bought a book to learn Kannada and picked up a few words. I have never given Sunil a Valentine card. He thinks it's far too commercial; early in our relationship, I realised it was a lost cause. When I was in school in the UK, we were asked how many Valentine cards we got. That was terrible. Valentine's Day is horrendous there. I was turned off. I have not seen how commercialised it is over here. We are romantic in a quiet way. He sometimes gets me a card or chocolates. We have been married for a year-and-a-half and we're still getting there. Both of us are willing to compromise. Sunil had told me if I couldn't manage, he was willing to move to the UK.
I would like to hope I'm adjusting and managing well. Love makes it easier. |
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