Oh my god! What am I doing here? That's what I feel after 429 days as a film journalist. Fresh from college and raring to go, I had braced myself for the worst -- but what do amateurs know! Over the past many months, I have come to hate press conferences and award functions. Believe me, a 'film' press conference is a complete turnoff. Scribes are more interested in which five-star hotel the conference is, and how much booze and grub will be served. I remember my first-ever press meeting. It was at Hotel Oberoi, the Stardust's Movie Awards. I noticed there were two sects of journalists. One comprised the well of journalism while snooty la-di-las made up the other. When the dignitaries were making their speeches, I was the only one devotedly scribbling notes, like I did during Professor Vaman Rao's lectures on immunology in college. The rest were busy, sipping Coke and munching snacks! I remember writing a diary on this one. A couple of months ago, at the Priyadarshni Academy Awards, I was on Mission Aishwarya. I was busy jotting down the details of the function. And guess what? I found the rest of the gang cackling at me! "Look," I almost heard them say, "The kid is actually writing notes!" I still haven't figured out what is so funny about someone doing what she is paid for. Every film journalist worth his salt was there to cover that Akshay Kumar-Mahima Chaudhary starrer. I have never been comfortable doing an 'On the sets'. But this one was a success. It was also an eye-opener. I was speaking with popular villains Sayaji Shinde (Shool) and Mukesh Rishi (Sarfarosh). I realised the reason behind the duo's earlier apprehension to chat when Mukesh said: "While shooting for Hera Pheri a girl reporter came up to me and asked who was the guy standing near us. I was shocked. I told her, 'It's Paresh Rawal!' If a journo doesn't know, who will?" That same day I saw the antics of another clumsy pressman. After waylaying Mahima for an interview, he took a cool 10 minutes to establish himself, remove his dicta, cassette etc. He even changed the batteries in front of her. I am sorry, but I think inefficiency is a crime in Journalism. With that sort of behaviour the guy is more suited for a government job. What confirmed my opinion, or the lack of it, about filmi journos was a freelance chap. He seemed to know his way around the tinsel world. It was whilst returning home in the bus arranged for the press that I came to know how well up he was about things. He had observed my struggle to get Mahima to speak and hence felt obliged to reveal her 'true nature'. "Mahima is vary of the press now," he said. "Is it because she is two-timing %^%^%^% (name deleted) and ^^^^^^^ (name deleted)?" My thanks-but-no-thanks look didn't work. He continued, "Shamita Shetty admitted to me that she was furious about the kissing scene in Mohabbatein and that she'll never do it again." I gave him my coldest look and switched on my Walkman. Interestingly, the song that was playing was Don't give up by Bryan Adams and Chicane. There is an old saying, 'He who lies down with dogs will rise with fleas.' I have no intention of visiting a vet. It's another matter that I have always wanted to be one. The point is, I refuse to be part of such a shallow, degraded, crude clan. I believe gossip is about, for, and by frivolous people. Hence it's no surprise that Shah Rukh Khan and Juhi Chawla are portrayed as clumsy, idiotic journos in Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani. Or that a gum-chewing, mini-skirted Raveena Tandon plays reporter in Mohra. Journalism is serious business. So are movies. Movie journalism is about passion for movies, filmmakers and actors. What they do in their personal lives is none of my business. Who am I to question somebody else's modus operandi? Maybe I am wrong, but I would rather not rise with fleas. Sukanya Verma believes in Responsible Journalism. Tell us what you think of this diary
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