Bollywood's Ten WORST Films Of 2012

Compiling the Best Films of 2012 wasn't hard at all.

In comparison, short-listing simply ten films from a pile of baloney felt like a task. 

It sounds nice to say, I was spoilt for choice but you know what? No thanks, Bollywood! Can you please do better next year?

Now, unreasonable and ridiculous is a constant in our cinema but even that can be stomached to an extent if an actor shows conviction in embracing the absurd if not the wisdom in not signing up for it in the first place.

Know what I mean?

So here's my list of 10 Worst Hindi Films of 2012 in no particular order.

Only this year, to make it a tad more interesting, I'm including a few insightful/blunt/hilarious opinions about the selected ones, made by you, dear readers, on rediff.com's tireless message board. 

Joker

It's safe to say that the verdict is unanimous and no one including its leading man (Akshay Kumar) quite cared for Shirish Kunder's Clumsy Encounters of Any kind. And just like Paglapur I wish Joker too didn't exist.  

Readers say: 'It's a waste of time & money. Awful movie, argh!'

 'Akshay is the new Govinda. 30 faltu movies and counting. Don't care if the movie makes 200 crores.'

'Sanjay Kapoor's Prem is better than this movie.'

Read the review here.

Unless cheesy is the new sexy, there's no salvaging a barely-clad, vacuous Sunny Leone's acting debut mouthing off lines like Hum dono ek doosre se jhooth bol sakte hain par iss jism ka kya karen?

Readers say: 'I came out thinking sex can be boring too.'

'It's a complete let down. The movie is very very boring! Story is very weak and so are the performances.' 

'Arunoday Singh was hilarious. Who made him an actor?'

Read the review here.

Why on earth would Abbas-Mastan buy the official rights to remake a perfectly deft script about slick con jobs and turn it into a laughable skit played out by bored actors in excessively fashionable avatars?

I've been asking myself this question since January 6, 2012. Nope, no luck.

Readers say: 'Worst : Movie, Performance, Direction. Best: Good trailers before movie. End titles of the movie, Popcorn in the interval. Painful: Songs, Abhishek (Bachchan), Length. Comedy: Sonam's dressing, Bobby Deol, Neil & Abhishek's expressions, Robbery Scene. Kudos to the producers for buying the rights instead of copying. Directors should be blamed to make this type of mockery with the original script.'

'I got the DVD of this movie... could not watch more than 5 minutes, it's really bad.'

'All foam, no beer. I was lazy and not doing anything at all yesterday. But, still, I think I lost 2 hours of my life in watching this movie.'

Read the review here.

If the point was to prove 'Look, I can make a BAD and HIT film without any stars,' Hate Story made it rather successfully.

Was it worth it? I don't think so.   

Readers say: 'Better watch porn instead.' 

'This is the worst movie I ever seen. Can someone tell to how I can get refund of my money I spent in tickets?'

 'Don't waste money. The movie is so bad that you can't see.'

Read the review here.

What works? Rani Mukerji.

What doesn't? Everything. Aiyyaa is just too bizarre to pass off as quirky or fun.

All it does is embarrass its cast for being sport enough to try. 

Readers say: 'One of the most boring, senseless, time-consuming and irritating movie I've ever seen.' 

'Floppum Bankruptum.'

'Poor Prithviraj, he deserved better.' 

Read the review here.

Randhir Kapoor. Rishi Kapoor. Ranjeet. Mithun Chakraborty. Boman Irani. Akshay Kumar. John Abraham. Shreyas Talpade. Ritesh Deshmukh. Chunky Pandey. Asin. Jacqueline Fernandez. Shahzahn Padamsee. Zarine Khan. Johnny Lever. 

Bet there cannot be a better example of Misery Loves Company than all of above agreeing to torment themselves at the hands of a director who defines humour as idiocy. 

Readers say: 'Why do Indians lack proper sense of humor? Why fill up the movie with so many characters that it is impossible to do justice to any of them? Most importantly why do we the audience make such foolishly made films a hit? 

'Housefull 2 is appalling with an absolutely ghastly set of characters and scenes masquerading as entertainment.'

 'Only one with an understanding of a 3 year old can like this movie.'

Read the review here.

I've never done drugs nor do I plan to, but thanks to the Department experience, I am pretty sure that is how it must be.

My eyes still haven't forgiven me for the roller coaster ride I took them on. But most of all, I feel genuinely sorry for all those cameras that were mercilessly abused to zoom in an actor from every embarrassing angle. 

Readers say: 'I am a big fan of RGV (Ram Gopal Varma) and was not even shocked when I saw Aag, but this film takes the cake when it comes to a pointless storyline.'

'If there are any Awards for Most Shabby film of the year, then this film wins hands down all categories. Felt literally like vomiting!!!'

'The movie was a big zero. The sad fact is RGV seems to have lost his touch. All good actors wasted.'

Read the review here.

A man swears to blow up a train for being deported back to his country on grounds of flouting immigration laws.

He's also the good guy, insists Priyadarshan. This, by the way, is only the most miniscule flaw in his rip-off of Japanese flick, The Bullet Train.     

Readers say: 'You're better off watching the original Speed starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. At least it doesn't put you to sleep.'

'Such a shambolic story line, it never sticks to one plot and keeps skipping between them, never giving complete attention to a single one.' 

'Tezz creates a benchmark to spoil your mood, money and time.'

Read the review here.

Quoting myself, 'unless stale stories, bad acting and bungled possibilities capture your fancy, Blood Money is much too sluggish, simplistic and boring to bother.'

Readers say: 'Do watch it if you wanna waste your hard earned money.'

'Another one of those modern, urban, yuppie hero-heroine romance thrillers no one cares about.'

'Rotten Movie. Save your money.'

Read the review here.

If on one hand, Sridevi's spectacular return to the silver screen was received with much acclaim, Karisma Kapur's comeback vehicle reduces her prowess to a three-dimensional frown in a stiff, silly film about past life regression (read costume changes).  

Readers say: 'The movie is a 3D torture.' 

'Director (Vikram Bhatt) should be thinking what audience, not what he, wants to be assimilated by audience.'

 'This movie is made to wipe out those (watching in 3D) who lived after seeing Agent Vinod and Jannat 2.'

Read the review here.