The annual wave of award shows is upon us and keeping up with the ongoing tidings, the fourth Golden Kela awardees -- acknowledging the worst in the movies -- will be announced in March.
A spin-off on Hollywood's popular Razzies, Golden Kela is here to right all wrongs and honour such 'stellar' cinematic efforts as F.A.L.T.U and Rascals.
To be fair though, with names like those, they didn't really stand a chance otherwise.
Check out the nominees and who WE think might win!
Worst Film
Nominees: Ra.One, Ready, Bodyguard, F.A.L.T.U., Mausam and Singham
We predict: Ra.One.
They hounded us with unrelenting promotions that still haunt us in our sleep, the product itself turned out to be depressingly lacklustre and because we expected better from Shah Rukh Khan!
Worst Actor (Male)
Image: Movie poster of RascalsNominees: Jackkie Bhagnani for F.A.L.T.U., Emraan Hashmi for Murder 2, Ajay Devgn and Sanjay Dutt for Rascals,
Ranveer Singh for Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl and Imran Khan for Mere Brother Ki Dulhan.
We predict: Ajay Devgn and Sanjay Dutt for Rascals.
It's quite ironical that two veterans like Devgn and Dutt, who belong to an entirely different generation of actors and have spent decades in the industry, have been pitted against rank newcomers. Enough said.
Worst actor (Female)
Image: Sonam Kapoor in MausamNominees: Sonam Kapoor for Mausam, Deepika Padukone for Aarakshan, Kangana Ranaut for Tanu Weds Manu, Rascals and Miley Na Miley Hum, Nargis Fakhri for Rockstar
We predict: Sonam Kapoor for Mausam.
We have been told that Sonam's into high-brow literature, we also know that she's quite a fashionista. Now all we'd like to know is if she can act. Oh wait! Mausam and Players have answered that one.
Worst director
Image: Aneez BazmeeNominees: Roshan Abbas for Always Kabhi Kabhi, Rohan Sippy for Dum Maaro Dum, Anubhav Sinha for Ra.One
Anees Bazmee for Thank You and Ready, Puri Jagannath for Bbuddha... Hoga Terra Baap
We predict: Anees Bazme for Thank You.
Just like his films, this one's a no brainer. Thank You and Ready were released just a month apart. That's really pushing it now, Mr. Bazmee.
Worst Supporting Actor
Image: Prateik Babbar in AarakshanNominees: Pratiek Babbar for Dum Maaro Dum and Aarakshan, Angad Bedi for F.A.L.T.U., Tom Wu for Ra.One,
Puja Gupta for F.A.L.T.U., Chandan Roy Sanyal for F.A.L.T.U. and the cast of Pyar Ka Punchnama for Pyar Ka Punchnama
We predict: Prateik Babbar in Dum Maaro Dum.
We were under the impression that Prateik would be the next pin up star of parellel cinema. Thanks to Dum Maaro Dum and Aarakshan that illusion has been irreparably shattered.
Worst debutant
Image: Sachiin Joshi in AazaanNominees: Chirag Paswan for Miley Na Miley Hum, Sachiin Joshi for Aazaan, Nargis Fakhri for Rockstar, Taaha Shah for Luv Ka The End, The Cast of Always Kabhi Kabhi for Always Kabhi Kabhi, Esha Deol for Tell Me O Kkhuda
We predict: Sachiin Joshi in Aazaan.
Joshi for believing that people will take a paunchy superhero seriously. Apart from that, we'd like this review do the talking.
Most Irritating Song (Played Endlessly on Radio and TV)
Image: Salman Khan and Kareena Kapoor in BodyguardNominees: Chammak Challo from Ra.One, Fully Faltu and Char Baj Gaye from F.A.L.T.U., Dhinka Chika from Ready, Shadai from Mausam, Teri Meri from Bodyguard and Desi Boyz title track from Desi Boyz
We predict: Teri Meri from Bodyguard.
Bodyguard's Teri Meri was one of the most painfully generic songs of the year. And the fact that it was almost everywhere didn't help its case.
Most Atrocious Lyrics
Image: Himesh Reshammiya in DamadammNominees: Jaideep Sahni for Dum Maaro Dum (Dum Maaro Dum), Amitabh Bhattacharya for Pyaar Do Pyaar Lo (Thank You), Amitabh Bhattacharya for Jigar Ka Tukda (Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl), Amitabh Bhattacharya for The Mutton Song (Luv Ka The End), Sameer for Mango (Damadamm), Irshad Kamil for Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (Mere Brother Ki Dulhan), Anu Malik for Tinku Jiya (Yamla Pagla Deewana)
We predict: Sameer for Mango (Damadamm)
Mango really? Looks like Sameer wan't paid enough and so ended up doing a half-baked job.
Baawra Ho Gaya Hai Ke Award
Image: Yuvika Chawdhary and Govinda in Naughty At 40Nominees: Amitabh Bachchan for Bbuddha... Hoga Terra Baap, Pankaj Kapur for Mausam, Govinda for Naughty@40,
Hema Malini for Tell Me O Kkhuda, Sagar Bellary for Bheja Fry 2 and Hum Tum Shabana, Farhan Akhtar for Don 2: The King is Back
We predict: Govinda for Naughty@40
What was Govinda thinking when he took up Naughty@40? That was a rhetorical question.
Aaja Nach Le Award for Worst Attempt at a Comeback
Image: Mahakshay Chakraborty in Haunted 3DNominees: Zayed Khan and Diya Mirza for Love Breakups Zindagi, Esha Deol for Tell Me O Kkhuda, Himesh Reshammiya for Damadamm, Govinda for Naughty@40, Loot, etc., Mahakshay (aka Mimoh) Chakraborty for Haunted 3D
We predict: Mahakshay (aka Mimoh) Chakraborty for Haunted 3D.
Dear Mahakshay, you had us at 'I do not use drugs, aur mein stupid bhi nahi hoon. Maine MBA bhi kiya hai, Stanford University, America se.' Period.
Special Awards
Image: Movie posters of Aarakshan and Saheb Biwi Aur GangsterCheck out the special category, tailor-made for a few gems:
Lajja Award for Worst Treatment of A Serious Issue: Aarakshan
Bas Kijiye Bahut Ho Gaya Award: Pritam
Shakti Kapoor Award for Misogyny: Pyaar ka Punchnaama
There are special 'Anti-Kela' awards too for films that managed to steer clear of embarrassment.
And the films that come under this category are Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster, Shaitan, Shor In The City and Yeh Saali Zindagi.
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