Alfie would put Bush to sleep

The new Alfie is the kind of film that millions of self-righteous voters who elected George W Bush might love. Except the updated story of a small 1966 British gem is so dull and shallow, it may even put Dubya to sleep or make him reach for his Bible. The Bible certainly has many far more riveting stories about the wages of adultery.

In the new film, the womanizer played by Jude Law comes to witness the follies of his libido, and the press notes for the film declare that it has been made to reflect the current sensibilities, especially of women (read, political correctness).

The Alfie that launched Michael Caine's career presented him as a cad who was not really apologetic about the effects of his womanising. An amoral creature sleeping his way through women, single and married, leaving behind him a trail of severely damaged souls, abandoned children and a woman waiting for a backroom abortion, Alfie was a character we loved to hate.

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The original film, filled with dark images and humor, startled many viewers when Alfie looked directly at the audiences and spoke his mind. It took us time to get used to the cockney accent, but Caine was so compelling, and the script was so gripping, that we made an effort to understand every word.

Set in London, the original Alfie became quite a hit worldwide, and its unconventional view of life had plenty to do with its success with critics and audiences.

The glamourised version set in New York has an admirable cast with Jude Law playing a glamorous Briton, but it just doesn't come to a boil. Even if it were not a remake, the new Alfie might disappoint many because of its shallowness and preoccupation with glamour.

A story about the wages of sin can be turned into a gripping film. If the filmmakers wanted the new Alfie to learn lessons from his reckless behavior, they should have ensured the conflict in his heart convinced us about his agony.

Worse, none of the women in Alfie's life -- Marisa Tomei, Nia Long, Sienna Miller, and Susan Sarandon -- are credible characters we really care about. There is too much emphasis on Alfie and very little on his conquests. We hardly get a glimpse into their troubled hearts.

For a gripping (also hilarious) film about relationships, watch Alexander Payne's Sideways. And don't forget to watch the classic 1966 Alfie.

CREDITS:

Written by: Charles Shyer, based on a screenplay by Bill Naughton
Starring: Jude Law, Sienna Miller, Nia Long, Susan Sarandon, Marisa Tomei, Omar Epps
Directed by: Charles Shyer
Rating: R for sexual content, and some language and drug use.
Running time: 1 hour 40 minutes