Readers' Pick: BAD movies we LOVE to watch!

These movies suck but we love them anyway!

There are bad movies and there are B-A-D movies.

But we aren’t discussing the outright abominable fare no mankind should have to suffer but the ones not entirely without gratification.

For some unexplained reason, not only do we, the complex Bollywood viewer, derive cheap amusement out of specific trash but harbour a soft corner for it.   

The cheesy lines, tacky ambiance, stilted performances and a complete disregard for sense or aesthetics to generate absurd at its optimum -- it takes special talent to entertain with nothing but pure baloney. 

Which is why, we asked you, dear reader, to name a film that mostly sucks but you love anyway. Here’s what you picked.

Deshdrohi

Oh if you don’t know why, you must a) live on Mars b) or beyond C) or, what the heck, just quickly look up Kamaal R Khan’s death scene in Deshdrohi.

All those wonderful characters that just blurted out of your mouth may seem too decent a reaction to describe what you’re going through. 

The mind-numbingly awful Deshdrohi evokes this response from start to finish, it’s not an ordeal, it’s an out-of-body experience. Looks like some of you have a taste for the extreme.

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Mithun Chakraborty B-starrers loomed large over the message board. And while Jallad and Sher-E-Hindustan are in a league of their own, nothing comes close to the legend of Gunda. 

High on crummy packaging and dialogues laced with the choicest of expletives, Kanti Shah’s incessantly violent cult offering enjoys an 8.1 rating on IMDB, higher than the, gasp, Amitabh Bachchan classic Deewar.

But the hysteria Mithun’s Kill Bulla mission generates among fans is as entertaining as the bizarre happenings on screen.

Just that one sequence of Ashok Kumar’s instantaneous recovery from a heart attack after he hears a patriotic song on the radio is enough to earn Manoj Kumar’s Clerk a place in Bollywood history.

For all things wacko, that is. 

Even otherwise Clerk is so irrevocably atrocious and badly acted, it’s almost brilliant.

Perhaps the quirky tone of Ram Gopal Varma’s Daud starring Sanjay Dutt and Urmila Matondkar as, er, Uma Parvati and Daya Shankar along with Paresh Rawal’s freakish Pinky with A R Rahman’s breezy soundtrack thrown in good measure is more appealing on small screen. 

Whatever the reason may be, this on-the-run farce has its own fan club.

No RGV Ki Aag, members only.

How many Hindi films use a diacritic in its title?

But The Xposé is one of a kind in many regards. 

In this moronic mishmash of suspense and retro, music artists turned actors Himesh Reshammiya and Yo Yo Honey Singh ensure the next few hours are a breeze with their consistently robotic expressions and comic screen presence. 

And when you’re not chortling at their awkward attempts to appear sly and serious, there are dialogues such as this: Ravi Kumar langot ka bahot pakka hai, woh bistar par nind ke alava kuch nahi leta.

It may be one of the stupidest films of that decade but Amitabh Bachchan’s larger-than-life antics as both -- a vigilante and magician in Toofan is, face it, mindless fun. (At least the 1990s kids think so.) 

Got to give Big B credit for rocking his multipurpose crossbow in that hideous, HIDEOUS orange-black costume to make mincemeat of Goga Kapoor’s scowling villain.

Also Farooque Shaikh, for rendering the idiocy some semblance of credibility.

One of you posted ‘All of Jeetendra’s films’ and so I am going with 1990’s costume drama cum fantasy, Hatimtai. 

The film has garish production values and relentless line-up of junior artists in ghastly (read hysterical) get-ups and disguises, followed by the ever-fierce Amrish Puri in a costume that couldn’t have spelled out danger any more clearly.

As is Jeetu’s riddle-solving genius to rescue Sangeeta Bijlani’s fairy from an evil spell.

Akshay Kumar and Suniel Shetty’s beefy chemistry and raw, almost non-existent, acting skills in Waqt Hamara Hai has quite a few takers. 

Like the typical 1990s heroes, they idle about the canteen, hate at first sight, become best buddies, sing group songs in gym-inspired choreography, romance the girls (Ayesha Jhulka, Mamta Kulkarni, you remember?) and then promptly save the country from an international terrorist Colonel Chikara. 

Oh and the minister’s name happens to be Ram Gopal Varma.

This is interesting.

Looks like we have a divided audience as far Tees Maar Khan goes.

Many of you voted Akshay Kumar’s con caper among the worst Hindi films ever and now a lot of you seem to think it’s SO bad that it’s actually good. 

Does a certain Sheila have something to do with this unexpected honour?

Ramsay brothers' brand of horror has tickled more than terrified. 

And that’s why the crude flavours of Veerana -- in which all sorts of hilarity ensues in the garb of sleazy proposals, supernatural mumbo-jumbo and prosthetic make-up at its screaming best -- warrantee such repeat value.