Nishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
May this misfortune never befall any of us, is all we can say...
Parents, unlike friends, we don't get to choose.
And there are all kinds of them in the world.
We get to see the more exaggerated versions in Hindi films.
Most times, they're not the kind we'd like to see a lot of. So what would life be like if these filmi parents stepped out of the silver screen and entered real life?
Take a look at why some of these onscreen parents would be a nightmare if they were for real!
Tara Singh from Gadar: Ek Prem Katha
Watching a jingoistic dad on screen is good fun. Value for money too, some would say.
But passing on those questionable values onto a son who will grow up in the age of legions of faceless internet trolls is stuff cyber crime horrors are made of.
Please .
Dr Viru Sahasrabuddhe from 3 Idiots
Image: Bomna Irani in 3 IdiotsNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
That Boman Irani is tyrannical father, who drives his only son to suicide by relentlessly pushing him towards a career he doesn't want to pursue, is besides the point.
Any child in their right mind would look for a way out if their father was as hopelessly dull as Irani's Dr Viru Sahasrabuddhe and talked like he suffered from a speech impairment.
Raj Malhotra from Baghban
Image: Amitabh Bachchan with Hema Malini and Salman Khan in BaghbanNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
So you give your kids the life they deserve.
And what do they do? They treat you like garbage later on.
What was that phrase Indian parents spend their entire lives justifying?
Oh, that's right. Tough love.
Nandini Raichand from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
Image: Jaya Bachchan with Kajol, Shah Rukh Khan, Amitabh Bachchan, Kareena Kapoor and Hrithik Roshan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie GhamNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
Don't get us wrong, Jaya Bachchan as Nandini Raichand was extremely likable in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham.
But the way she always instinctively looked at her palatial house's main door whenever her adoptive son was in the vicinity sorta freaked the living daylights out of us.
Does this mysterious sensory ability also work as far as her offsprings' other activities are concerned?
We're only asking because we're sure there are many things young adults will be better doing when they think no one's looking.
Raj Singh Puri from Yaadein
Image: Jackie Shroff in YaadeinNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
It's great to have a hipster dad, believe us.
Sadly, it wasn't so in the early 2000s as Jackie Shroff's Raj Singh Puri in Yaadien will have you believe.
Inane sentimentality does not a cool dad make, sir.
Ramkishen from Hum Saath Saath Hai
Image: Alok Nath in Hum Saath Saath HainNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
Because seriously, sanskaari dad, standing in the frame like a prop when your kids are going through a tough time is never justified.
Get up, dust your ass off and show us the strength of character you’d earlier, so proudly too, claimed to have passed on to your nauseatingly virtuous sons.
Salman Habib from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
Image: Naseeruddin Shah in Zindagi Na Milegi DobaraNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
What's worse than not having a dad?
Having one who couldn't care less about your existence.
Kavita Kapoor from Cocktail
Image: Dimple Kapadia in CocktailNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
Because she's a judgmental, loud mother.
And the last thing we need is a filmi mother in real life when we can barely stand one on screen.
For a stronger argument, remember what it was like having your mum around in your teens?
Now imagine feeling the way you felt about her then for the rest of your life.
We rest our case.
Mrs Acharya from Dostana
Image: Abhishek Bachchan, Kirron Kher and John Abraham in DostanaNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
We live in an age when youngsters prefer to move around in all-inclusive social circles.
Imagine the horror of making your homophobe mum meet your gay friends.
It'll be like not knowing what pizza was in the 1990s.
In other words, social suicide.
Dharamvir Malhotra from Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Image: Shah Rukh Khan and Anupam Kher in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le JayengeNishi Tiwari/ Rediff.com in Mumbai
There are always two extremes to a spectrum and neither are good.
So the overly critical parent finds worthy competitor in the cloyingly indulgent one.
Please keep safe distance for sanity and perspective.
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