'Even at 50, I will make mistakes, but I'm willing to get up and learn again.'
Bakhtavar Khan, rechristened as Sonam by Yash Chopra, enjoyed a short stint of success in Hindi cinema. She gave up her career when she got married and became a mother at 21.
Now, she's ready to make a comeback.
"When I was leaving the industry, I lost out on many films. I did miss facing camera, the limelight and the fame," tells Patcy N/Rediff.com. "At that time, I realised I had made a mistake."
- 1st Part Of The Interview: 'If I am called a sex symbol today, I don't care'
'Two actresses in those times could never be friends'
In those times, actresses did not get along with each other.
I have worked in many multi-starrers and I never got along with any.
Still, I didn't make a scene or fight with them.
Two actresses in those times could never be friends. Never.
'I never considered myself to be anybody's wife'
When I was leaving the industry, I lost out on many films.
I did miss facing camera, the limelight and the fame.
At that time, I realised I had made a mistake.
I was born to work in the movie industry.
But once I got married, I had my son.
He was born when I was 21. We lived abroad.
People recognised me initially.
In London, people would come me for autographs but slowly, it dwindled off.
I didn't really care; I was more interested in bringing up my son.
I have just been a mother. I never considered myself to be anybody's wife. I never considered myself to be anything but a mother.
'I met Subhash Ghai, Sridevi'
I have met Subhash Ghaisaab and his wife.
I have met Srideviji with Boney Kapoorji; their daughters were young then.
But that did not make me want to come back and start my career again.
'Shah Rukh Khan did a fantastic job in My Name Is Khan'
My son has grown up and he encourages me to work.
He is autistic.
I was living abroad when I saw My Name Is Khan.
I had tears in my eyes. Hats off to Karan Johar for making a movie like that.
In his own way, he tried to make people aware of autism.
I think Shah Rukh Khan did a fantastic job in My Name Is Khan.
No two autistic people are the same, but whatever message he tried to put out, I thought it was fabulous.
'I lost my identity over the years'
I came to India in 2012 and lived in Pondicherry till 2015 for my son's education.
I lost my identity over the years and did not have any self-confidence. I put on weight.
Then the pandemic came and changed everything.
I thought it was a good time to reinvent myself, so I changed my lifestyle and the way I thought.
I shifted to my holiday home in Ooty.
I lost 30 kilos in a year.
I became a vegetarian.
'OTT is the reason why I want to come back'
Ever since I came back to Mumbai, I want make a comeback.
I'm busy acting workshop classes.
OTT is the reason why I wanted to come back because I thought that age wouldn't be an issue.
I have got offers, but I'm still thinking.
I want to do OTT because nobody is a hero or heroine, nobody is a villain.
If you see Mirzapur, a person like Rasika Dugal is hardly around, but whenever she comes, she makes such a big impact. You're thinking about her even when she's not on the screen. That is the power of OTT. Everybody has something to add without which the story cannot move ahead.
I would love to be in that space.
I can't say I was not given my due because it was me who stopped work. Work did not give up on me, I gave up on work.
It's my fault.
I left the industry.
My best is yet to come and I want to start all over again.
Even at 50, I will make mistakes, but I'm willing to get up and learn again.
