'I'm An Addict Of Heartache'

'I have been in love with a career on the big screen, validated by box office numbers.'
'I never expected the love back to be instantaneous.'

Harshvardhan Rane feels validated after his Diwali release Ek Deewane Ki Deewaniyat opened well at the box office.

"When I met filmmakers and had many meetings in February, as soon as I would say bye and turn to walk out, I could hear producers whisper behind my back, 'Fluke hai'," Harsh tells Subhash K Jha.

How are you sleeping after your first blockbuster?

In the last nine years, I have trained myself to sleep independent of the result. I made sure validations do not impact the breathing pattern of my thought process, and my deep sleeping stage.

It's my only wealth.

Did you expect Ek Deewane Ki Deewaniyat to become the success that it has?

This was the first film I chose after Sanam Teri Kasam's re-release success in February.

Ninety percent of the film industry laughed and mocked this decision of mine, as it was the most important time of my career, but I did exactly what I have been doing for the last nine years: Listen to my heart and not take anybody's advice.

Was Sanam Teri Kasam's successful re-release a precursor to the success that came?

When I met filmmakers and had many meetings in February, as soon as I would say bye and turn to walk out, I could hear producers whisper behind my back, 'Fluke hai'.

I would just quietly pause, smile and keep walking out of the room.

Reviews of Ek Deewane Ki Deewaniyat have called it misogynistic. Does that dampen your spirit?

I am a psychology honours student, currently pursuing my second year.

Reviewers are also human beings, and I respect individual differences of opinion.

It's an outcome of difference based on eight factors like emotional state, cognition, past experience, culture and so on. It will be foolish of me to expect everyone to feel the same thing.

You play a man so much in love that he refuses to accept that he is not loved back. Have you ever been in such a situation?

I have been in love with a career on the big screen, validated by box office numbers.

I never expected the love back to be instantaneous.

I am an addict of delayed gratification, the pain, the wait, the heartache...

How are you celebrating the success?

I am leaving for a five-six day long road show in my van, and will go around the country, requesting people to buy tickets.

An actor like me has to find, educate and ask audience to watch his films.

I don't like to sit back.

My pleasure is that one text from my producer Anshul Garg, that his gamble on me reaped him profits.

Your film is doing better than Thamma.

I see it as two outsiders on Diwali, that's a win for outsiders.

I love Ayushmann Khurrana. His journey is nothing less than a tale of inspiring resilience.

Photographs curated by Satish Bodas/Rediff