'On the set, he was this big personality, the great Om Puri. But at home, he was like a fluffy teddy bear.
In public perception, Om Puri was a powerhouse who garnered awards and accolades with his performances in a rich haul of Indian and international films.
But for his wife Nandita Puri and son Ishaan Puri, he was just 'Om' and 'Baba'.
Om Puri would have turned 75 on October 18.
Dinesh Raheja speaks to Nandita and Ishaan, who reveal their impressions of Om Puri, the person behind the persona.
"When Om and I got married, he told me, 'I don't have much money so don't expect that. But I have these two hands, and nothing will go wrong."
Ishaan, on your dad Om Puri's 75th birth anniversary, how do you remember him?
Ishaan: I didn't expect to lose my father so soon. I was 19 when he passed away. Even now, I talk about him in the present tense.
I remember him every day. But, yes, on special days like his birthday or on their wedding anniversary on May 1, my mom commemorates him by watching his films with me or calling over four-five close friends of his like Manoj Pahwa and Seema Bhargava-Pahwa.
Nandita, what do you remember most about Om?
Nandita: I just wish he had stayed a little longer.
Ishaan: We all wish that.
Nandita: Today, it's the season of OTT and he would have RULED it! It's sad he missed that bus. He had the talent to continue doing great work.
On a personal level, every time Ishaan and I do things together as a family, I find myself saying 'Wish Om was here.'
Now that Ishaan is showing some inclination for the theatre and film world, I really wish Om was there to mentor him.
You run the Om Puri Foundation. What's in store?
Nandita: Producer Manmohan Shetty has got Om's classic film Ardh Satya remastered.
I am remastering my biography, Om Puri: Unlikely Hero. The book was published in 2010; I'm going to add a few chapters about what happened with Om between 2010 and his death in 2017.
Speaking of Ardh Satya (1983), what were Om's thoughts on his landmark film? He is unforgettable in the scene in which he finally lets out his repressed emotions and screams at his father, played by Amrish Puri.
Ishaan: My dad had some real-life parallels with his own father while filming that scene. His relationship with my Dadaji was also strained. It was very similar to what was depicted.
Nandita: Bauji came out from the premiere of Ardh Satya very angry with Om.
He said, 'Hamari apni kahani kyon bataayi?'
Om responded that he had not revealed anything; this was in Vijay Tendulkar's script. Then Bauji realised the universality of the subject.
Ishaan, how was Om Puri as a father?
Ishaan: I called him Baba. He was a very loving and gentle father.
On the set, he was this big personality, the great Om Puri. But at home, he was like a fluffy teddy bear. I could literally just snuggle up to him and fall asleep.
Did he ever raise his hand on you?
Ishaan: Never. That was mom's department; she was the strict parent. Half the time, my father was out on shoots. Whenever he would have free time, he would dote on me. Of course, he would also discipline me when I deserved it.
Did he have a pet name for you?
Ishaan: He called me Ishaan. But he would call me quite a lot of names -- Gabroo, Chooza and sometimes nalayak.
Nandita: Till you were two years old, he used to call you Oomba.
Nandita, would you say Ishaan has taken after his dad?
I have a funny anecdote about that. Om would use cuss words like punctuation, whether he was happy or sad, they were his takiya kalam.
One day, when Ishaan was about two, Om was holding him and crossing the road.
A rickshaw veered very close to them and baby Ishaan loudly let loose a colourful gaali.
Om was so shocked, he almost dropped this fellow.
I laughed and asked 'Ishaan, kahaan se seekha?'
He innocently said, 'Baba se'.
Ishaan, you are a major film buff. Did that come with being Om Puri's son?
Ishaan: I really enjoyed watching films, good bad or ugly, from the time I was a child. It was pretty organic. It's not specifically because of my father.
Nandita: It's in your DNA; you don't realise it.
You were born in a film world, witnessed your father talking cinema. And you have gone for film locations.
Nandita, how would you rate Om Puri as a father?
Nandita: He was absent most of the time, but that was a positive because he was working.
Without the money, Ishaan would not have grown up with the comforts or a good education. So I would give him 9.5 out of 10.
Would you rate Om as highly as a husband?
Nandita: No. (Both laugh). I would give him 6. Actually, 7 because he was very kind. Very generous, but only after picking a fight.
At the end, he'll give me everything but he'll make me realise, 'I spend so much on you.'
Sometimes he would have temper and moods swings.
Ishaan: Woh toh har ghar mein hota hai.
Nandita: He was a terrific actor -- that was a fan girl reaction which I had till the end.
He was a workaholic who earned well and looked after us.
But more than that, he also came back after a hard day's work and cooked for me. I will give him an 8 for that.
Where do you get someone who happily cooks for you without grumbling?
Ishaan: For me, he would make meetha paratha. I was a very fussy eater. My parents did not have the bandwidth to feed me.
Dad would say 'Chuze ko khaana khilao.'
But I would refuse to eat so he would make meetha parathas which I loved. I miss them.
Om Puri's palate remained Indian?
Nandita: Desi. Wherever we went in the world, he would take Ishaan and me to Japanese or Italian or French restaurants, where he would have his whisky while we had our food. The moment we finished, he would go to the nearest South Asian joint and pick up Palak Paneer and Roti.
Did you try to change him?
Nandita: No. He was rustic earlier. When faced with a finger bowl at a restaurant, he didn't know whether to drink it or wash his fingers.
He had never seen a toothpick.
But by the time I met him, he was polished.
He had travelled the world and stayed at five-star hotels, won awards, and worked with Patrick Swayze and Ben Kingsley.
But deep down, he had that desi heart, and that's probably the thing I loved a lot about him.
There was a huge 16-year age gap between Om and me. He was much more savvier than I was. I knew basic table manners but I always looked up to him for everything else because he was so much more evolved.
Nandita, when you married Om in 1993, it was 10 years after Ardh Satya and he was already an acclaimed actor. Yet you have said that he didn't have money for your mangalsutra!
Nandita: I'll tell you what happened. He was very established and he had his house, but he had not yet started doing his major commercial Hindi films with David Dhavan and Priyadarshan.
He was doing Shyam Benegal-Govind Nihalani art films.
The big money had come only from City of Joy. So he had got the public adulation with two National Awards and Filmfare Awards.
But paisa toh itna nahin tha.
Then he had to undergo a divorce in which his entire savings went as alimony because he wanted to get it fast.
When Om and I got married, I remember, he showed me his hands and told me, 'I don't have much money so don't expect that. But I have these two hands, and nothing will go wrong.'
We went to the US on a working honeymoon as he was shooting for Wolf. They had given him a first class ticket so he converted that into two business class tickets for us.
What was Om's mental makeup like when he was striking out in the West? Confident or nervous?
Ishaan: He was very confident of his abilities but a little creative nervousness is important.
Nandita: His attitude was that no one can fault me on my craft. So, if he saw Amitji (Amitabh Bachchan) or Naseer (Naseeruddin Shah) or anyone from his age group in a film, he would say, okay, that is a good role or I could have done better in this one.
But even he got cold feet when he first had to shoot with the Jack Nicholson in Wolf. It was a long scene where only he's doing the talking and Nicholson is sitting and listening.
When we entered Jack Nicholson's vanity van, he warmly said, 'Welcome to LA,' and then he gave me a kiss, and he hugged Om.
He made Om feel so comfortable that he kind of cracked it.
Remarkably, Om's main rival in alternate cinema, Naseeruddin Shah, was also his chose friend. Though Naseer was fluent in English, it's Om who made it bigger in the West and got the OBE (Order of the British Empire).
What a coincidence. Om wanted to leave NSD after one month because, forget English, he spoke even Hindi with a heavy Punjabi accent.
You couldn't understand his Hindi.
(Then NSD director and theatre legend Ebrahim) Alkazi told him to listen to the Hindi news, and read Hindi newspapers.
Soon Om became the finest Hindi narrator in the country.
Look at Bharat Ek Khoj! They used his voiceover in several Hindi commercial films because his Hindi was impeccable.
I remember after Om got the OBE, Naseer came home for dinner and said, 'We used to make fun of his English with the Punjabi accent, and I would always pride myself on my English, but today he gets the OBE.'
Om always maintained that Naseer was a terrific actor.
What did Om feel about doing commercial films? He started doing comic roles in Chachi 420, Chup Chup Ke.
He loved it because the pay was excellent.
He said, 'I got my bread with very little butter from art cinema, but I got lots of butter and jam from commercial cinema.'
Art cinema was over by that time, so Om was happy that he was getting a few good roles from indie filmmakers and mostly from international cinema. He kind of settled into the idea of doing commercial cinema, He loved it -- traveling, staying in fancy hotels, having an entourage.
But he used to get frustrated with some of the stars turning up late.
Govinda landed up two days late once!
We went to Nashik and waited two-three days but when Sunny (Deol) didn't land up, we came back after a nice holiday.
I met Govinda two years ago on a flight and reminded him of his three-shift era.
He said: 'Three shifts? I would do eight shifts in a single day!'
Ishaan, you enjoy watching your dad's comedies?
Ishaan: Oh, I loved Chachi 420, Chup Chup Ke and Hera Pheri.
When I was in the second standard, we were asked to write an essay on our parents.
On my father, I wrote, 'He's a great actor in films like Hera Pheri, Chachi 420.'
At that age, I had heard of Ardh Satya but hadn't watched it. I knew him for commercial cinema.
Once you became a teenager, how did your relationship with your father evolve?
Ishaan: Earlier, our relationship would be light-hearted and playful.
Later, he was very concerned about my future.
I developed an inclination towards acting and he would tutor me in that direction.
He made me watch his old classics, whether it be Ardh Satya or Aakrosh or Aarohan and, of course, his English films. That was my education with him.
How do you remember Om's last days? Did you know the end was imminent?
Ishaan: Nobody saw it coming.
Nandita: He was drinking a lot. We were worried about him. He would smoke and drink from the time I met him but the drinking was in moderation always.
Towards the end, the drinking was very high. Sometimes, if he didn't shoot, he would finish a whole bottle in the afternoon and have another at night. It was very bad.
Ishaan: We were anxious for him.
Nandita: Then he had a little panic attack. We went to Hinduja hospital. Everything was clear.
The doctors were constantly telling him to cut down on his cigarettes so he stopped smoking for two weeks because he had to undergo a biopsy. He was very scared.
But the moment the reports came clear, he went straight back. I felt that he could have easily stopped...
Did Om think in terms of leaving behind his legacy?
He knew. He would say, 'Now you don't appreciate me. Wait till I go, then you will realise what I was. You will appreciate me when I'm gone.'
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