A hint of suspicion crossed my mind. A couple of days earlier, a rumour had been floating around the Zeenat had gone to Raj's studio for a screen test for the main role in his new movie Satyam Shivam Sundaram. The hearsay now started ringing true. My heart was bleeding.
'You are breaking your promise,' Raj was now telling Zeenat in his drunken joviality, 'that you will always be seen by me only in a white sari!'
More embarrassment was writ large on her face, and Zeenat was not the same Zeenat for me any more.
My heart broke into pieces. I wanted to leave the party at once and go off somewhere alone, to be just by myself, so that I could swallow the humiliation thrust on my ego.
But a struggle within me transformed itself into a 'to-hell-with-it-all' attitude, and prompted me to say goodbye to a relationship which, though it had been on-committal emotionally on both sides, had been honest all the same. There was no space in it for professional dishonesty.
The painting I had made of her started showing signs of cracking.' How long do you intend staying here, Zeenat?' I asked her.
She looked at Raj, as if seeking his permission to leave.
'Let her stay here, Dev -- and you too -- enjoy!' he said in a drunken drawl.
'By all means,' I said. 'Enjoy, Zeenat. Call me up later, when you feel like it!'
'But aren't we suppose to be going to the other place together?' she casually asked.
'Doesn't matter!' I said.
The rendezvous had already lost all meaning in my mind.
I sneaked out of the place, quietly apologizing to the host.
The evening delivered a blow to my personality, and my dominating spirit. I had decided on the spur of the moment to tell Zeenat for the first time how much I loved her. And that there was an idea in my mind of another story that would put her on a pedestal as never before, the highest so far. But that was never to be.
And so be it! I quickly detached myself, convincing myself that I had blundered, taking too many things for granted. There was no need for me to let any rancour germinate in my mind against Zeenat. I had prepared her for the world, and she was free to go into the arms of anyone who would help her further her ambitious dreams.
A group of chanting devotees was passing by my car. I sat listening to the sound of cymbals and bells.
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Ram Hare Ram
Ram Ram Hare Hare
I closed my eyes. Zeenat still remained beautiful in my eyes, with an honest soul. And Raj a passionate filmmaker.
I opened my eyes. A streak of lightning seemed to flash across my mind and inspired a new thought. I started pursuing it. A new chapter was thrown open before me, its first pages slowly unfolding.
The idea of a new film was coming slowly into focus.
In the picture: Dev Anand and wife Kalpana Karthik (extreme right) with close friends Sunil Dutt and Nargis. Many years later, Devsaab launched Richa Sharma in Hum Hai Naujawan, who went on to wed their son Sanjay Dutt.
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