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The 22-year-old actress won a National Award for Best Actress for her moving portrayal as 15-year-old Shahina in T V Chandran's Paatham onnu oru vilapam.
She received the news when she was in her native Kerala.
The next day she was in Hyderabad, shooting for a song in a Telugu film. When contacted for a telephone interview, she found it difficult to talk from the location, as the song was being played loudly.
But she promised an exclusive interview to rediff.com at 6 am the next day! She had to catch a 7.30 am flight from Hyderabad on her way to Kolloor where she was going to pray at the Mookambika temple.
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How did you prepare yourself to play Shahina on screen?
Generally, I do not do any preparation or rehearsal. I think about the character a lot so that I become the character in my mind. Then, I start thinking like her. Even my body language changes.
I try to think how I would have reacted if I were in that position. I believe that human emotions are the same for everyone, whether she is a Hindu, a Christian or a Muslim. I tried to relate to what Shahina faced in her life.
This is what my guru [director Ambazhathil Karanakuran] Lohitadas taught me when I did my first film (Soothradharan, 2001).
I feel I could achieve this only because of the blessings of God.
How long do you carry the characters in your mind? Do you find it difficult to come out of them?
Yes, I do find it difficult to come out of the characters. I carry them with me even after the shooting is over. This hangover makes it difficult for me to start another film. So I prefer shooting one film at a time. I can't change characters at the drop of a hat.
For example, Shahina's pain was so real and so strong that it took me a very long time to adjust to my next film, which was a Tamil one. Till then, I was living as Shahina and suddenly, I felt I was in an artificial world.
After the shooting, did anyone tell you that it could fetch you an award? You have won state and national awards for
Paatham onnu oru vilapam.Yes, many talked about me winning a National Award. It was nice to hear such words. But I did not think too much about it because only if you expect something would you be disappointed.
I felt very happy when I won the state award. Honestly, I did not even think of winning a National Award. I felt I would be too ambitious if I started dreaming about it. God saw to it that I got that too.
It seems you did not show any inclination towards being an actress while in school until Lohitadas asked you to be Shivani in
I do not know what he saw in me. He is responsible for moulding me into an actress. I am what I am only because of him.
There is no background of art in my family. Nobody encouraged me to dance or act in plays when I was in school. I did not know I had this talent. Like all girls, I wanted to learn dancing when I was young but since that was not done in my family, I did not. I belong to a very orthodox family and dancing is total anathema there.
How did such a family allow you to act in films?
My father was dead against me acting but my mother, sister and brother were with me. In fact, I returned the advance thrice before finally saying yes!
Today, my father is a proud and happy man!
Were you reluctant to accept the offer?
I was under tremendous tension. I didn't know how I would do something that I didn't know.
You were attacked by the yellow press in Kerala when you just started your career.
I thought my life would come apart. I was a girl from a very orthodox family and it was not on my volition that I had come to the film industry. I was dragged [into it]. It was against the wishes of my father that I accepted the film offer, and then the bad press
It was something I had not bargained for. I asked myself, do I deserve this? I thought my life was over. I was very, very hurt.
Why do you think you were attacked like that?
I wish I knew. I look at it as destiny. After the bad press, many bigwigs in the Malayalam film industry insulted me. They used to ridicule me and my ability.
I am glad I came out of the bad phase successfully.
Now that you have won a National Award, do you feel the same people would look at you with more respect?
What can I say? (laughs) Hope they change their opinion!
I also hope that those who doubted and ridiculed my ability will have the courage to give me good roles now!
Unlike some other heroines, you dub your lines. You dubbed for Mani Ratnam's
Yes. I feel acting will be complete only if I dub in my own voice. I never felt dubbing in different languages was difficult. Once I get into the character, acting becomes easy. Once you get the emotions right, you have to only master the language. Above all, I do not like others dubbing for me. I feel incomplete then. I have dubbed for all my films. That is what Lohitadas Sir taught me.
I enjoy dubbing, even in Telugu though I do not know the language. Actually, for my first Telugu film, someone else dubbed for me. When I heard it, I was very unhappy. I thought she did not get the emotions right. So I begged to the filmmaker to let me dub in Telugu. They were not very confident, but they let me try.
I did one scene, and [actor] Pawan liked what I did. He said, 'only Jasmine should do the dubbing. I don't want anyone to dub for her. I need her voice in my film.' I felt so happy when I heard him say that. After that, I dubbed the entire film.
You are going to the Mookambika temple.
The Mookambika temple [dedicated to Goddess Saraswati] is a favourite of all artistes. I am very, very attached to Mookambika Amma.
I get good vibrations when I go there. I feel so peaceful and happy. My mind becomes clear. So many small, small miracles are happening in my life after that. Like the National Award.
You are a Christian. Do you feel odd praying at a Hindu temple?
No, no. I don't feel any different. If they would let me, I will go to a mosque too. I will go to any place that is divine, that gives me mental peace.
Is this journey to Mookambika a thanksgiving?
Definitely, it is a thanksgiving trip to Mookambika. I feel I have Amma's blessings with me.
