Photographs: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Unromantic spouse? Angry parents? Long distance relationship woes?
Love Guru answered these and many more relationship queries in an online chat with Get Ahead readers on May 29.
Unedited chat transcript:
Shanti Patil: 25 years back I loved a girl. It is only love but no sex she broke out and had sex with another friend but married to yet another fellow. Now I am also married. But I still love her. She is not talking with me. She will not reply my e-mails and she disconnects my phone. She only started love with me 25 years back. Please advise.
Love Guru: Shanti Patil, what advice do you want? What I want to tell you is to stop looking into the rearview mirror and get on with your life! Sending a person emails, calling them, etc against their will can invite a police complaint, and even imprisonment. I am sure you are aware of that Shanti Patil
Thanks a lot.
Mayank Purohit: i love guru i hv serious issue. I am married man since last 4-5 months. my question is whevenr i go our wid my wife she look at another man. Some times she thoutht i am not watching her..these things happens 3-4 times. Wen i catches her she says i dnt knw wht is hapeing? last time she extreme..we were visting to her mother place.
Love Guru: Mayank Purohit, is there anything wrong with just looking? Everyone looks, and there's nothing wrong if it is only looking (as opposed to staring, ogling, leering, leching etc). You sure you don't look at other women?
Sanchari: Dear Love Guru,I am in a long distance relationship and we cant make out or meet up so much. So we are facing real problems. I am feeling very much upset. Half the days we are fighting itself. Both of us are trying to adjust but the 5 mins we make up over the phone we start quarreling. I m 25 and he is 26. Help!!
Love Guru: Sanchari, long distance relationships sound good in chiclit, but is a killer in real life, trust me. Any way you can reduce the geographical distance between the two of you? It may reduce the gap between the two of you
Sanchari: Thanks LG. But we are both working so we cannot much reduce the geographical distance. The problem is not with trust. Problem is I am emotionally a weak person and tend to break down easily at stressful situations. At such times I need psychological support. So I want to speak to him then and there. But he is not ready at times to adjust for me. So I loose my temper and we start :(. HELP!
Love Guru: Sanchari, is he not "ready at times to adjust" for you, or is he, as a working professional, just like you, he is unable to find the time to be able to speak to you as and when you need it. If it's the former, then there's a problem in the relationship. If it's the latter, then rather than losing your cool, you both need to work out a, well, workable solution
Vikas Garg: I am 48 yrs old and my wife is 47. Although I love her very much but she is gradually losing interest in sex due to responsibilities and fatigue. How do I rekindle her interest ?
Love Guru: Vikas Garg, I am sure she will appreciate it if some of her "responsibilities and fatigue" are taken care, as according to you that's why she is losing interest in sex. Do that, and see how the situation changes
Neetu Chaubey: Well there's this boy I've bee in love with for like ages now, and we've been out twice, he knows i still like him and he still likes me, but hes going out with my best friend who also knows I really like him, shes meant to be my best friend but its like she doesn't even care, All my friends know i like him, and they cant seem to help me. any solution over this
Love Guru: Neetu Chaubey, but what does he want? When you say he still likes you, is it like-like or something more? Could it be that he may like you,but may like your best friend more? Granted she is your best friend, but she is not stealing him if he has chosen her over you, isn't it? Find out what he wants first.
Rittika Negi: Husband left me 16mths ago saying wasnt happy,he's now going for divorce as he's got new partner and as she's an Asian muslim her family wont let them be together till he's divorced.We have an 11 yr old daughter who he's hardly in touch with and shes refusing now to have anything to do with him and he's blaming me. Help pl
Love Guru: Rittika Negi, what do you want help with? With the divorce? With your daughter not having anything to do with her father? With him blaming you? What exactly are you looking for?
Amit Srivastav: Hlw, frnds plz help me my best friend want that i spend my life as he want . He always ask me to not talk with other girls in class. He just want that i only talk with him and if i cant do this then he gets angry and stop talking with me but guys i can't stop talking with my old frnds but he couldn't understand what to do plz help me..
Love Guru: Amit Srivastav, both you and your friend need to get a life, if not a wife
Suman Singh: My boyfriend and I are going to have a baby in 3 months. We cannot decide on a name. I know it sounds like a small thing but it is really something we cannot seem to get past. We simply cannot come up with anything that we both like. Plus whenever we come close to decided he tells his Mum and she puts him off whatever name we have come up with. How can we sort this?
Love Guru: Suman Singh, what are you doing with a momma's boy! Assuming the mother's objections to you two having a child out of wedlock (I am saying this since you mentioned boyfriend, not husband) didn't stop you, I fail see how her objection can prevent you from selecting the child's name!
Suneel Bonjani: what should I do if she is angry at me if I'm just making fun on her?shall I confess to her?or shall I appolagise?
Love Guru: Suneel Bonjani, the point about making fun is that it is seen differently by the doer and the receiver. What may seem to you as harmless innocent fun could be perceived as malicious, wicked by the person at the receiving end. It is safe to assume your jokes are not going down well with her, so avoid doing it.
Trimohan Mishra: Ek ladka ek ladki se bahut pyar karta hai par bo ladki us ladke se pyar nahin karti ya karti hai pata nahin par ladka us ladki se bahut baar keh chuka hai i love u main tumse bahut pyar karta hun par wo ladki us ladke se kehti hai main tumse pyar nahin karti par ab wo ;ladka kya kare wo maan nahin rahi hai ab us ladke ko kya karna chahiye
Love Guru: Trimohan Mishra, the best thing the guy can do is move on. The girl is not going to change her mind; there's no point waiting for her to
Dawar Sheth: I'm Always Feeling Lonely And Trapped. I'm Constantly Upset But Recently Its Been Getting Worse Since Me And My girlfriend Hardly Talk AnyMore, Do You Think I Miss Her And That's What's Causing Me To Stress A lot And Get Extreamly Upset? And What Should I Do To Make Things Go Back To Normal With Her?
Love Guru: Dawar Sheth. Are the symptoms you describe the result of you and your girlfriend not talking anymore? Could be, it depends on how much she meant to you, how much the relationship meant to you. You know the truth about that one, I can only make a guess. But assuming you are missing her, you know why you two don't talk,what the issue is. And you must also know what is the solution to it. Just do it!
Debjit Rakshit: HiMy DOB is July '77 and I'm an issueless divorcee. Is it OK to marry a girl who is 10/11 yr. junior to me.DR
Love Guru: Debjit Rakshit, so you are 37 years old. And the girl is around 26,26 years old. Which seems fine to me. What's the problem here?
Pradeep Tupe: Sir, i like a girl from last 3 yrs she is so beautiful, but i cant tel her that i love u, she thinks we r just frnds & we are different cast. i want know that is i m really in love that girl or its attraction or i should propose her or not & will she agree that i m really love her...
Love Guru: Pradeep Tupe, everybody is in love with beautiful girls, so I don't blame you, but the question is, does she reciprocate your feelings or you are imagining her positive reaction?
Got questions for the Love Guru? Post them here! Love Guru will reply to them on Thursday at 3 pm.
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Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
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