'Why are girls on matrimony sites so money-minded?'

Is your love life under pressure? Are you troubled by your relationship? Get Ahead's Love Guru hosted a chat with readers on January 12 to help them deal with love problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the transcript.

Love Guru says, Hi there, people...welcome back to the Love Guru chat! Let's get started...

luvguru asked, i hve a crush on a girl from last 7 yrs,hw to propose her :P

Love Guru answers, My dear namesake, if you've not opened your mouth for seven years you're asking to be crushed! What are you waiting for? I'm assuming she's a friend, so please let her know how you feel right away! If you're too shy to tell her upfront, you can tell her on the phone or e-mail her, explaining how you feel. But I'd say a personal, gentle approach that doesn't put too much pressure on her (no 'I can't live without you' business!) is best.

ravik asked, i love a girl proposed her she says no and will marry a guy in next two months

Love Guru answers, Ravik, this girl is obviously not into you -- she's marrying someone else, so I'd suggest you accept that gracefully and move on. I know rejection can be hard to deal with, but everyone faces it at some point in life. Keep your chin up and date other girls -- she's not the only fish in the sea, nor is she the absolute best!

rajiv asked, Hello,LG..I had a major tiff with my GF of four years when she started taking interest with an office colleague of hers.He is a married man, having two kids as well. Yet still claims she likes him as he gives her lot of peace.I tried moving over her for almost 6 months now, but am unable to. We are on talking terms.How to win her love back? I wish to marry her and settle down for life. Can you help with your suggestions please? Thank you.

Love Guru answers, Rajiv, she's making bad choices. She's bound to get into some kind of trouble sooner or later if she doesn't give up on him. But why mess up your life along with hers? She knows what she's doing and she's obviously made up her mind to go ahead with it no matter what the consequences. So let her handle them -- I don't think you should wait around for her to fall back in your arms. Why do you even want to spend your future with someone who could give up on you after four years for a married man?

yencee asked, i am married and having childrens. 9 years one girl is very close to me and my family and she wants to live with me. i regretted. now she has purchased the house very nearer to my house. she wants my closeness. kindly advice it is correct or not

Love Guru answers, It's obviously not 'correct', as you put it. You're married, a family man -- and you've been indulging this girl on the side for nine years? Even if she lived next door, you should still know where to draw the line!

abi asked, i liked a gal in my college (different clases), we shared glances quite frequently but never talked. Now college is over. i know her name but she does not know mine. I have her landline no only. How do i contact? Will she be feeling same as earlier? its 1 year almost now.

Love Guru answers, It's creepy to call someone you've never spoken to and who doesn't even know you just like that, out of the blue. Most likely you'll be rebuffed. It's something like stalking, isn't it -- the guy who used to stare at you in college and who you've never spoken to suddenly calls you at home. I would say try getting in touch with some common friends who can reacquaint the two of you by maybe going out all together or something to that effect. Of course, if you have no point of contact for her whatsoever, you'll just have to try calling, but leave that as your last resort!

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh

zeeman asked, Is it possible for a person to be in love with more than one persons at the same time?

Love Guru answers, It's been known to happen.

rajiv asked, Thanks,LG. Atleast, you understood my situation. The problem is exactly that. She's making bad choices that can potentially harm her life. I love her deeply and invested way too much of my emotions that I cant come out of it and cant see her suffer.Apparently, as she says, what she has with him is not physical, but an emotional bonding.. I want to help her get out of the peril and live with her, for her.She's otherwise very intelligent and smart. I want to make it work..Please give me some idea how to make her see the clear picture and get back with me?

Love Guru answers, Some of the smartest people are fools in love. Don't you see what you're doing, buddy? You're making a bad choice yourself, by insisting on trying to save her when she's made it clear she doesn't want to be saved. And you're not willing to let go of that choice either, so why do you expect the same from her? I know you want what's best for her, but it's her choice. And this is yours -- so I'm telling you to distance yourself from this whole situation and move on.

yencee asked, i am not indulging . each any every family matters and functions she participated and very close to my family members.

Love Guru answers, She may be close to your family, but you say she wants to live with you! And if you're not making your feelings clear, that you're not interested, then yes, you are indulging her!

piya asked, i am in a relationship from last 2 yrs and i love him alot. but sometuimes dnt know what happens to him he strtd ignring me n strtd saying i dont luv u n al n aftr somedays everything becomes okay. this happens frequently n he thinks i dnt love him! how to make him undrstnd dat i love him alot???

Love Guru answers, He sounds quite stupid. The next time he becomes like this, I want you to ignore him as well. Don't ask him what's wrong, don't lavish attention on him. If he says he doesn't love you, say that he shouldn't be in a relationship with you and walk out. I know this insecure type well -- he'll most likely come back in a few days begging you to take him back. And that's when you'll tell him that you don't have time for his stupidity and mind games, so he can either behave like a mature, loving partner in the relationship or then find someone else.

Maddy asked, Hi...I dnt have hopes for this relationship..but thr was gal in my chem coaching..i loved to watch her dat tym a lot..but always afraid of talking to her coz i feared i might lose previlige to watch her also..now m wroking..she is working too..we r frnd on fb..never talked to her actually..a frnd og mine got her added in my FB..i want to talk to her a lot but evrytym i feel wat wud i talk wid her..wat after saying Hi...

Love Guru answers, 'Hi, how are you? Do you remember me from chemistry class? It was nice of you to add me on Facebook. How are you doing? Working somewhere? I am too, I'm...' So it's not that difficult, is it! And leave it at a casual conversation. Then later maybe you can hang out with her through this common friend of yours.

drpandey asked, I am working in one of the pharma company from last ten years. I am working from mng to evening in the company. My main problem is that I am unable to give the time to my family > i have two son. Now my life wants that I should give time to my family alos. But that is impossible. what should I do so that they remain happy prevously? I love my family too much, but due to time shortage now some misunderstanding coming...please advice?

Love Guru answers, Weekends. Devote weekends to your family. Take leave from work occasionally and take family vacations. When you get home from work everyday, don't get hooked to your cellphone/computer/television. Spend a little quality time with your wife and kids, even if its 20 minutes. I know it can be tough with long working hours, but you've been in the same organisation for 10 years and I'm sure you can leave early from work sometimes too! Make the effort, because it's not as impossible as you're making it sound!

vinny asked, hey love guru...m in love wid a girl n i do know her since last one month..i have already told her about my intention..to get into more detail I did asked about her past if she z engaged wid any1,,her answer was No...i asked if she will marry me,,she said i wont go against my parents, if they say yes den she z ready...she loves my company but she never say YES for this relation...suggest me sumthng now

Love Guru answers, You've known her for too short a time to be talking of a relationship, forget marriage! Spend a little more time in her company, a few months, figure out for sure whether this is the girl for you and then think of approaching her parents! The way you're talking, you seem either a little naive or way too young to know what you're doing, exactly.

Rohit asked, My parents have finalized a girl for my marraige recently. Girl & her family also has said yes. She's a nice girl and i really like her. Problem is I am confused about my behaviour. I dont even talk much with her as i fear i may be talking or doing something that may annoy her. How shud i proceed further?

Love Guru answers, You have to spend the rest of your lives together, so it's best to start being natural around each other now, in a bid to get to know each other better. Stop worrying so much and getting tongue-tied -- she said yes, didn't she!

sudipt asked, hi love guru. i m a rajput guy n i love a marwari girl . we used to work in same office n i have let her know my feeling couple of times but never face to face or phone. now i have left that company. but i love her a lot n she sdeems to have no feeling for me. she just stays silent always n never respond my wishes greetings. but at the same time she does nt have any other bf too. please advise as to how to her back to me n make her believe that i love a lottttttttt

Love Guru answers, I'm sorry to break this to you, Sudipt, but she's completely ignoring you. And you say she knows how you feel about her, so you need to accept gracefully that she's not interested.

rajiv asked, LG, I feel if love is true and genuine, it should be able to withstand these tests and emerge victorious.I am ready to give up on anything for my Love, but not the person I love for anything else.I am not opportunistic here, but am committed and dedicated to this relationship.I did have plenty of opportunities to stray or go with a number of girls who wanted me, but my heart just didn't accept them.Don't you think true love has the powers to get back on track? I wish to give love a chance to mend itself..Just don't know what I should to for that though..

Love Guru answers, You're right about true love being able to withstand tests, but that's provided it's a two-way street, Rajiv. It takes the love two people share to make things work like that. If a man is truly in love with a woman who's not interested in him or vice versa, they'll spend their whole lives hopelessly awaiting a victory that's not coming. And that's a waste of time, don't you think?

abcdefg asked, dear LG, i proposed to my girl friend whom i Know about 1 year, as expected she refused and it hurts me. what hurts more is she is not talking to me from the last 8 months. what to do now. I dont know I am feeling guilty when ever i saw her. Pls help me how to get over this

Love Guru answers, Why should you feel guilty? You told her honestly how you felt -- she's being quite silly to just cut you off like that if she's a true friend. You can try asking her why she can't accept your feelings gracefully and remain friends -- after all, you're willing to be graceful about her rejection of you and move on, aren't you? Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose. If she continues to ignore you, well, you're better off without someone so petty and immature in your friend circle.

Aravind asked, i proposed my friend but she said she cant accept me since am her friend

Love Guru answers, That's a kinder way of saying no. Accept it and be glad that she's such a good friend to spare your feelings.

lok asked, I am married to a girl whom i loved a lot but after marriage her weight has increased tremendously and i am losing interest in her. What shall i do??

Love Guru answers, Nobody's youth and appeal lasts forever, so I hope you realise marriage is a lot more than physical attraction. That being said, why don't you broach the subject tactfully with your wife? You can point out how lovely she looked when you married, or in a particular outfit etc. And if she brings up her weight (most women do!), you can tell her that she looks pretty even now, but that she'd be drop-dead gorgeous if she dropped a few pounds. You can even join a gym together.

sk asked, My wife left me after just 4 months of marriage and shes staying with her parebts for last one year. My family is asking them to send her back but her parents are supporting her. She is not willing to stay with my parents and wants to stay alone with me. She has no respect for my family and me. She is very hyper, arrogant. I am not willing to continue with this marriage. I will be soon going to her home to ask her come back. If she says no then i would send a legal notice. Advice me if am doing something wrong.

Love Guru answers, Why do you want my opinion when you already have yours? You're saying that she has to live with your parents and if she doesn't want to, you'll file for divorce. You've also said she's disprespectful, arrogant and hyper, at least in your opinion. My question is, then why are you asking her back home and why do you still want to make the marriage work if your mind's already made up? Or is this the only real issue -- she wants to live separately?

ronit asked, i was in relation...but now break up...and suddenly she realized that she was wrong and come back....kindly tell me should i go ahead with her or not..

Love Guru answers, Well, people make mistakes -- and if this is the first time it's happened and you think she's being completely honest with you, I'd say give it another shot. Why not? It's not a crime to change your mind, you know.

xulil asked, my gf and i are both deeply in love..and i do hv faith in her...still c keeps in touch with her ex...initially openly bt wen i objected nw tryin 2 do it behind my back...initially the excuse ws he is a very gd friend...it bothers me a lot....

Love Guru answers, Do you think she still has feelings for him or is it just that you're bothered by it even though there's nothing really going on? If it's the latter, I'd say that some people can be friends after an unsuccessful relationship. As long as your girlfriend knows where to draw the line as friends, why make trouble out of it?

Rahool asked, Hi LG, I am looking for alliances on a matrimonial site, i get upset when women write how much they want the prospects to earn. I get puzzled as to how they arrive at such a figure, also i think these kind of girls are very money minded. I just want to know, if i am over reacting to the situation

Love Guru answers, Rahool, when people go in for a love marriage, they're willing to overlook certain issues for the sake of love. If it's an arrangement, on the other hand, they want to make sure things are as comfortable as possible because love is not a factor, at least initially. Hence they make their conditions clear. I'd say rather go for an honest woman who makes her stance clear, rather than one who pretends not to be bothered by such factors, but in actuality is.

Love Guru says, That's all for today, people! Till next week, goodbye and all the best!