Jab We Met: 'It hit me like a bolt from the blue'

We had invited you, our readers to share your love story this Valentine's Day.

Reader Amit Bhagwat takes us through the various ups and downs in his relationship with Ashwini before and after marriage and shares an important lesson for everyone.

This is the story of five-year-old married couple whose love marriage faced rough weather on account of some unusual circumstances.

It would be nice if Rediff could publish my expression on love in "Jab We Met" section. This might just act as a catalyst to get that booster which we as a couple really need.

Ours is one of the most unique stories when it comes to circumstances under which we got married.

I hope it will also make a good read for Rediff readers and a few of them can learn from our experiences. 

Circa 2007: I was comfortably placed in a well known software company in Pune. My parents were on a lookout for a suitable bride for me.

As it happens with most of the arranged marriages, I was literally made to sit in front of some unknown entity (read prospective bride) every weekend wherein I would be asked typical questions like "Where do you work?", "What are your likes and dislikes, hobbies?" etc .

Well nothing wrong in that however when it continues for days and months together, it literally gets on top of the head and that's what exactly happened with me. My parents and I were on opposite poles when it came to the choice of life partner.

Being soft (but stubborn) guy that I was, I quietly enrolled my name in a matrimonial site. These sites are interesting in the sense that they give you several "Search Options" based on which you can shortlist the girls and then establish a contact with them.

One such search led me to Ashwini. Her photo caught my attention as she seemed extremely beautiful (where as I am an average Joe).

Without blinking an eyelid for a moment I sent her an "interest" request which went and reached her father's mailbox.

Being a gentleman which he indeed is, he replied me and generously provided Ashwini's number. I called her up and spoke for about for 30 minutes.

Our first conversation went well and she seemed to be impressed with my reasonable sense of humour.

Her parents encouraged us to meet that very weekend separately.

We met and chatted in a restaurant for about an hour and half. She came across as a beautiful face with a very down to earth and simple altitude.

We instantly struck an amazing chemistry. For next two hours we were totally immersed in each other.

Once she left, I was pretty sure that her answer would indeed be a "Yes".

I was right and her father called my parents and conveyed that her decision was in the affirmative.

It was mutually decided that further discussions on marriage would be held at our place. I was on cloud nine.

I was extremely happy that I was going to be associated with such parents who gave immediate consent to the marriage without seeing me and relying on their daughter's judgement.

I literally lost my sleep for the next few days. I was anxious to get this marriage official as early as possible.

Luckily Valentine Day was just four days before her parents were supposed to come to my place to finalise marriage plans. I requested her to meet me once on Valentine's Day.

Upon the advice of my cousin sister I bombarded her with flowers/chocolates and all sorts of romantic dialogues which would put Shah Rukh Khan to shame!

This time she got swept off her feet and I could sense that.

For the next four days I was counting on each minute.

She came along with her parents and got introduced to my parents.

After two hours or so they left with a promise that they would get back to us with further details.

The rest of the evening I was dreaming. At 10 pm, I got a call from her.

She said that she wanted to talk to me only after midnight when her parents would sleep. I was a bit puzzled in the sense why she could not talk to me right away when our relationship had official stamp.

But nevertheless, I agreed for the midnight call. During that call she revealed that her parents did not like me and they had decided not to go ahead with the marriage.

Whoops! It hit me like a bolt from the blue. I was angry with her parents in the sense that they should not have allowed us to meet on multiple occasions if they were going to make the final call.

Till now we were truly in love with each other. We had made up our mind that no matter what we are going to get married.

Jab We Met stories!

Dear readers, do you have an interesting love story that you want to share? Tell us where you first met your partner and how the two of you fell in love. Write in to us at getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'Jab We Met'). You can also include a photograph of you and your partner and we'll publish the best entries right here on rediff.com

The next few months she was busy convincing her parents. She was getting very good proposals (and so was I).

But we decided that we were going to spend the rest of our lives with each other.

There was so much happening between our families that somewhere I was hurt deep inside.

In the end they agreed on the condition that they would only allow a registered marriage without much celebration.

This way we got married on March 4, 2008 after one year of struggle.

Living up to Shah Rukh Khan's inspiration, I took her for a romantic honeymoon in the Swiss Alps. 

They say that after marriage one has to change. After marriage, all my innocence vanished in thin air.

I was not able to forget the kind of treatment meted out to me by her parents during the last one year.

Not once did I think that being parents, they were entitled to dream for their daughter.

All I had was a grudge against them for the next two years. During the same period stock markets dipped in the face of Lehman brothers collapse and my father lost all his money in shares.

Representatives of banks and creditors would knock our doors every single day with all sorts of filthy language idioms. This hit me big time.

I started neglecting Ashwini. All my time was consumed in working day and night in office and paying off and negotiating with creditors.

In the meantime she got pregnant with our baby. In the face of financial woes I neglected her. I never realised that the most precious gift for a pregnant woman is the time and attention she receives from her husband.

Avnish was born in 2010 and immediately thereafter I came to the US alone to earn and repay the rest of my father's debts.

I eventually paid off the debts by mid of 2011. By the time Ashwini arrived in the US, we had drifted apart considerably. When I went to receive her and Avnish at the airport, we met almost as strangers.

Things improved a lot after she came here but not fully as work continued to be my first priority for the next one year.

I wanted to buy a nice flat in Pune and have all my debts paid off by the time Avnish started his schooling in Pune.

After spending one year she went back to India for a long visit.

Thankfully by then all my financial troubles had got resolved. As I was alone at home during the past few months, I did get a lot of time during the weekends to reflect upon my mistakes in the past five years.

I am not saying that she had been all saintly with me in all these years, however I do admit that the major reason for us drifting apart was me.

Also, it's not like we didn't have nice moments in all these years. Yes, we did a lot of outings together and also with a group of friends.

However that magical touch of 2007 courtship is missing big time when we were the closest mentally.

I wanted to start afresh with her now. I really want to celebrate a romantic outing with her which will remind us of February 14, 2007.

I want to tell her with all my heart that I love her the most and that I am more dependent on here more than she is on me.

Without any doubt I can say that I could not have found a better person than her as my life partner.

And yes I am going to win her back now.

All I want to tell dear Rediff readers is that it is easy to love and romance during courtship and initial days of marriage. But the real test of love begins only after marriage.

No matter how busy you are sorting out things, never try to neglect your life partner.

The more you withstand troubles together, the more your love will grow. Yes, in my case I did falter but I have realised my mistake.

With a pledge that I won't repeat the same mistakes in my life again, I wish a Happy Valentine's Day to all Rediff readers.

Jab We Met stories!

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Dear readers, do you have an interesting love story that you want to share? Tell us where you first met your partner and how the two of you fell in love. Write in to us at getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'Jab We Met'). You can also include a photograph of you and your partner and we'll publish the best entries right here on rediff.com