Quiz: Is your boss a Vicious Viper or Horny Harry?

1)

Whenever I give suggestions for improving systems and processes in my organization, my boss

a)

stares to look out of the window

b)

tells me I am God's gift to the organization

c)

asks me not to share the idea with anyone else and I will get my recognition when the time is right

d)

squeezes my hand

e)

says the idea is really good and as long as I continue working with the same boss, it may actually be implemented

f)

asks me to raise the subject in an appropriate forum

2)

Whenever I fall ill and call my boss to inform that I wouldn't be coming to work, my boss

a)

offers to send across its personal physician

b)

off ers to come home in the evening with a hot water bottle

c)

tells me not to worry about anything as it will take care all my tasks are completed for the day

d)

listens to me and then hangs up without saying anything

e)

starts praising me for something I did last week

f)

grunts and asks whether anything of importance is pending

3)

During performance appraisal/management meetings my boss talks about

a)

all the goals I couldn't achieve rather than those I could achieve

b)

tells me I am the best team mate it has had the good fortune of working with

c)

is extremely encouraging but promises nothing

d)

lists out my expectations and promises to do the best

e)

wants to know what my commitment to the organization is

f)

compliments me on my looks

4)

Whenever I point out any mistakes in the work my boss has done, my boss

a)

tells me how critical I am to the department and the organization

b)

confesses it made the mistake deliberately to test my understanding/knowledge of the subject

c)

asks me to take over those responsibilities in addition to my own as I am likely to be better at doing it

d)

tells me how stressful it has been and asks me to massage its back

e)

stops talking to me

f)

asks me to keep the larger picture in mind

5)

Whenever I apply for my annual leave, my boss

a)

asks me to go and enjoy myself and it will take care of everything

b)

wants to know where I am going and if it can come with me

c)

cancels my leave at the last minute

d)

asks me not to keep anything of importance pending

e)

tells me it will miss me at work

f)

asks me for my password so that it can follow up on anything urgent

6)

Whenever my boss's boss calls me for a one to one meeting with me, my boss

a)

makes it a point to shout at me and insults me on the same day

b)

tells me it is an opportunity I should utilize for my career development

c)

lets me know not so subtly, how it was instrumental in suggesting this meeting take place

d)

tells me, its boss believes in having such meetings only with the best interests of the organization

e)

warns me to be careful as its boss does not have a great reputation

f)

asks me to discuss all the pending issues that await approval

7)

When I make a serious mistake at work, my boss

a)

says there is nothing a weekend trip with it cannot fix

b)

tells me at this rate I should start looking for another job

c)

explains the organizational implications of what I have done

d)

tells me it has made worse mistakes

e)

says it will share it with its boss but also ensure that I don't get into trouble

f)

suggests ways in which I can cover up the mistake

8)

My boss likes to talk to me about

a)

The memorable dates it has had with other reports

b)

the organization

c)

all the folks who according to my boss are jealous of me

d)

nothing and no one. It gives instructions; never talks to me

e)

about its empathy for me

f)

whatever I want it to talk about

9)

Whenever things are not going well in my department, my boss

a)

ensures I feel guilty about it

b)

wants to know from me what is the root cause of the problem

c)

tells me I am not responsible, but tells others I am responsible

d)

wants to go for a late evening drive with me to discuss the issue

e)

blames someone else in my presence

f)

doesn't let me know what it is thinking

10)

Whenever things are going well in my department, my boss

a)

tells me it's all due to my hard work

b)

ensures it takes all credit for it

c)

says the credit is to be shared between everyone working in the department

d)

wants to go for a dinner date with me

e)

doesn't let me know what it is thinking

f)

tells me it is a cycle. bad times don't last and neither do good

11)

Whenever a new entrant joins my department as a peer, my boss

a)

makes me feel I am no longer wanted

b)

wants to know from me what I think of the new entrant

c)

tells me the new entrant should learn from me

d)

tells the new entrant not to share what my boss has shared with him/her

e)

pays lavish compliments to the new entrant in my presence

f)

tells me to take care of the new entrant and teach him/her the ropes

12)

Whenever a new entrant joins my department who has to report to me, my boss

a)

has a meeting with the new entrant in my presence where it tells him/her that it should learn from me

b)

asks me to train the new entrant properly

c)

wants to know from me whether the new entrant is single or married

d)

makes me feel the new entrant is much more efficient than I am

e)

makes a lot of small talk with the new entrant

f)

tries to fi nd out from me, how competent the new entrant is and whether it can replace me in my job

13)

My boss is at his best

a)

while talking about the merits of the organization

b)

while picking faults with my work

c)

while talking about intimate extra marital relationships

d)

while talking about my existent and non-existent strengths as an individual and as a manager

e)

while discussing organizational politics

f)

while it tries to fi nd out from me what my career goals are

14)

My boss is at his worst

a)

on a day some organizational recognition comes my way

b)

when I ask him about its retirement plans

c)

when I rebuff its advances

d)

when I don't confide in it

e)

when I surprise it in any professional sphere

f)

when I snub it when it starts fl attering me

15)

The over-riding emotion I experience towards my boss is

a)

disbelief

b)

distaste

c)

dislike

d)

weary acceptance

e)

trust

f)

admiration

16)

One thing I would like my boss to do would be

a)

renounce worldly pleasures

b)

take on a human form

c)

tell me what it really thinks of me

d)

cut down on the socialising during offi cial and unofficial breaks

e)

let me know the workings of its mind

f)

have at least one conversation with me on an issue that's not organizational

17)

The Indian mythological figure my boss resembles most closely is

a)

Arjuna

b)

Drona

c)

Shakuni

d)

Ravana

e)

Durvasa

f)

Narada

18)

My boss is endowed with

a)

the most brutal of insights on my various weaknesses

b)

gift of the gab

c)

a comprehensive list of positive adjectives

d)

inside information on all the goings on in the organization

e)

an overactive libido

f)

comprehensive knowledge of the history of the organization

19)

My boss would like me to believe

a)

it is charming and seductive

b)

it is the most committed among all my well wishers in the organization

c)

it holds the reins of my life

d)

it is smarter than I am

e)

patience is the key to organizational success

f)

it knows what is good for me better than I do

20)

When we meet socially in parties and off sites, my boss

a)

refuses to acknowledge me

b)

wants to find a quiet corner for us

c)

talks about the good old days of the organization

d)

wants to announce my achievements in the organization to everyone present

e)

wants me to hang around with it

f)

is always next to the most powerful person in the organization

21)

When I get a promotion or a pay hike, my boss

a)

tells me no one deserves it more than me

b)

lets me know subtly the role it played in my getting the promotion/ pay hike

c)

tries to hug me

d)

asks me to be realistic about it

e)

makes sure I earn every extra penny the organization has committed to spend on me

f)

tells me about everyone who hates me for getting the promotion/pay hike

22)

When I am in the dog house my boss

a)

is in a hurry to tell me that it had nothing to do with it

b)

tells me if I go out for dinner and a late night movie with it, all will be well

c)

is in a curiously cheerful mood

d)

tells me I am my worst enemy

e)

shares with me a similar incident that happened to it in the past

f)

tells me it knows the villains who are behind my unfortunate predicament but confi dentiality prevents him from sharing the names

23)

My boss's favorite statement to me is

a)

shape up or ship out

b)

life is beautiful and so are you

c)

trust me to look after your professional life

d)

you are the best

e)

I am a professional but you are special

f)

always put the organization before you

24)

My boss is

a)

a fraud

b)

a monster

c)

a pal

d)

a professional

e)

a philanderer

f)

the organization