'If your environment is constantly negative or stressful, you'll start feeling that way too.'
On World Mental Health Day, emotional and mental health professional and founder of Enso Wellness, Arouba Kabir busts some myths and shares some facts.
Do you believe mental health issues only affect 'weak' people? That therapy is only for those with serious issues? That exercise alone can cure everything.
"That," Psychotherapist Arouba Kabir tells Rediff's Rishika Shah, "is a fallacy. One in four people will experience a mental health issue in their lifetime."
Kabir, who has a master's in psychology from Delhi University, has been helping people heal emotionally and navigate stress and trauma for over a decade.
She explains how the people around you can affect you and why you should not worry if you have a family history of mental health issues.
Most importantly, she answers a few other questions you've always wanted to know the answers to.
We often hear people say things like 'anxiety runs in my family'. Is there actually a genetic link or is it more about learned behaviour?
It's both, but 90 to 95 per cent is environmental.
Parents are our first role models so we pick up a lot from how they react to things. If a child sees their mom constantly anxious or their dad easily irritable, they start mirroring that behaviour.
Only about 5 to 10 per cent of mental health issues are genetically linked.
The rest comes from learned emotional patterns and the environment one is in.
So when people say 'mental health can be hereditary', what does that really mean?
It just means there's a slightly higher likelihood of certain conditions like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) appearing in families. But it's rare.
I've met mothers with OCD whose children are completely fine and fathers with bipolar disorder whose kids never develop it.
The key difference lies in awareness and emotional regulation.
How can someone tell if what they are struggling with is genetic or environmental?
Usually through a mix of observation and testing.
Psychometric assessments can help identify patterns but blood work and brain scans can't 'find' an anxiety gene.
What we can see is how stress and trauma affect brain chemicals. For instance, constant stress increases cortisol; that's a biological reaction, not a genetic curse.
If someone knows mental illness runs in their family, what can they do to protect their mental health?
Awareness is step one. Accept it, then learn how to manage your emotions. Practices like deep breathing, journaling, therapy, grounding techniques and regular exercise are powerful.
Emotional regulation should be taught young. It's like learning hygiene for your mind.
Don't underestimate the power of social support. Having friends and family who listen can literally lower your stress levels.
In India, mental health is still considered taboo. Does silence around it make things worse for the next generation?
Absolutely.
But I've also seen a big shift in the last decade. Therapy isn't as taboo anymore. The problem now is accessibility. Mental health care is still a privilege.
We need multilingual helplines, community counsellors and integration of mental health into schools and primary healthcare. Only then will we truly normalise these conversations.
Many young people today feel anxious 'for no reason'. What's really going on there?
There's always a reason even if you can't see it right away. Our mind stores patterns. Sometimes, a smell, a colour or a small object can trigger an old memory of pain or rejection.
I had a client who had a panic attack while cooking. We later discovered her trigger was a turmeric spoon as it reminded her of the time her parents used to fight and once it was because her mother put too much turmeric in the food.
That's how our subconscious works.
Therapy helps you identify and process those triggers instead of just suppressing them.
What are some common myths about mental health you wish people would stop believing?
I once had a 11-year-old boy come to me. I asked him how he's feeling. He replied, 'I am embarrassed because I am here and I need your help.' Mental health being a sign of weakness is the biggest myth.
Believing that it only affects 'weak' people, that therapy is only for those with serious issues, that exercise alone can cure everything or that mental illness is rare is a fallacy. One in four people will experience a mental health issue in their lifetime.
Another big myth is that once you have it, you'll never get better. That's not true at all. I've been on anti-anxiety medication myself in my early 20s and I haven't needed it since.
Recovery is possible.
Do our friends, colleagues and people we hang out with play a role in our mental health?
Completely. The kind of people you spend time with, their mindset, energy and conversations all influence you.
We mirror what we see.
If your environment is constantly negative or stressful, you'll start feeling that way too. It's what I call 'borrowed trauma'.
Protect your peace by setting boundaries and surrounding yourself with people who uplift you.
And finally, on World Mental Health Day, what would you like to tell someone who feels 'doomed' because mental illness runs in their family?
Just because it runs in your family doesn't mean it has to run in you.
Your brain is powerful and unique. Learn to understand it, befriend it, and take care of it.
Awareness, self-care and emotional regulation can rewrite your story.
© 2025