Why 6-7 Dating Trend Works!

'People think love should feel like fireworks but fireworks burn out quickly. Healthy relationships are usually calmer, safer and built slowly over time.'

In the age of dating apps, endless swiping and unrealistic expectations, a surprising relationship trend is gaining traction online -- the 6-7 dating rule.

Instead of chasing the 'perfect 10' (someone who seems to have it all -- looks, money, status, charm), many young people are choosing partners who may not tick every superficial box but offer something far more valuable -- emotional safety, stability and genuine compatibility.

Love and relationship coach Mansi Sheth tells Rediff's Rishika Shah that the trend reflects a deeper shift in how people view relationships today.

"It's really about prioritising emotional safety and compatibility over chasing someone who seems perfect on paper," she says.

Because the truth is, the idea of a perfect partner is often unrealistic.

"Everyone is a human being. The trend shifts the focus from asking 'Is this person perfect?' to 'Are we perfect together?", she explains.

The problem with chasing a 10

For decades, films, pop culture and social media have romanticised intense attraction... that rush of emotions when you meet someone.

But Mansi warns that these intense feelings can cloud judgment.

"Intense attraction can be exciting in the short term but it doesn't necessarily create the stability and consistency needed for a long-term relationship," she says.

Often, people unknowingly repeat emotional patterns they learned early in life.

"We sometimes chase familiar feelings because they remind us of our early relationships with caregivers. We subconsciously try to recreate those dynamics and ‘change the ending'."

That, she says, can lead to chaos instead of connection.

Dating fatigue

The rise of dating apps has changed the way people approach relationships.

"Earlier, people met partners organically or through family introductions," Mansi says. "Now, there are endless options everywhere -- on apps, social media, even in everyday spaces."

While they may seem exciting, it often leads to dating fatigue.

People get ghosted. They jump from one match to another. They assume someone better is always just one swipe away.

"We don't invest enough time in getting to know someone," she says. "At the first sign of conflict, we move to the next option."

Eventually, many people realise that excitement alone isn't enough.

"That's when they start prioritising someone who may not be a 'perfect 10', but gives them stability and emotional security."

Why 'Perfect 10s' feel intimidating

Part of the trend also comes from the perception that extremely attractive or high-status partners often bring drama.

Mansi says this idea is partly shaped by social pressure.

"If someone is seen as very attractive or successful, there's often pressure, both internally and from society, to constantly prove themselves," she explains.

Being with such a partner can sometimes trigger insecurity.

"You may feel like you have to measure up to them or compete with the attention they receive," she says.

Even comments from friends can amplify that feeling.

"People say things like 'You're so lucky to be with them', which can make someone feel their partner has many options and could leave anytime."

Attraction vs compatibility

Another common dating mistake is confusing chemistry with compatibility.

"When we meet someone, we often feel an intense reaction in our body," Mansi says.

That rush can make people assume the relationship is meant to be.

But compatibility works differently.

"Compatibility cannot be felt instantly. It is created," she explains.

It develops over time through shared values, communication and understanding.

"Real compatibility isn't loud or dramatic. It grows slowly through conversations, trust and mutual effort.

Is choosing a '6-7' settling for something less?

Some critics argue that choosing a '6-7' partner means lowering standards. Mansi disagrees.

"A partner who offers emotional safety, shared values and good communication is actually a 10 out of 10," she says.

These are qualities that sustain a relationship.

Looks and money may attract attention initially but emotional availability and genuine connection are what keep people together.

Stability doesn't mean boring

Of course, stability doesn't mean the relationship feels dull.

Healthy relationships still need attraction, curiosity and fun.

"If you have absolutely no connection or fun together, it will feel flat," Mansi says.

True compatibility includes attraction and healthy flirting, curiosity about each other, emotional growth and the ability to handle conflict through communication.

"A stable relationship shouldn't feel like two people are simply existing together," she adds.

The role of self-worth

The partners we choose are also closely linked to how we see ourselves.

"If someone struggles with self-worth, they may chase partners who are difficult to win," Mansi explains.

Winning approval from such partners can feel validating but it often becomes emotionally exhausting.

"When your self-worth improves, you start choosing relationships where you don't have to constantly prove yourself," she says.

Instead, the relationship becomes a space where both people genuinely enjoy being together.

What an actual '10' is...

According to Mansi, it's not looks, money or status; an actual 10 is a person who possesses certain qualities that are essential in a healthy relationship.

Emotional availability: Someone who doesn't avoid difficult conversations.

Consistency: A partner who shows up regularly and invests in the relationship.

Kindness and empathy: Someone who understands the needs of the relationship.

Good communication: The ability to discuss problems without dismissing each other.

Shared values: Similar views on honesty, integrity and life goals.

"These qualities create safety and trust in a relationship," she says.

Role of social media

Social media has also shaped unrealistic relationship expectations.

"We are constantly exposed to the highlight reels of other people's lives," Mansi says.

Romantic posts, luxury holidays and grand gestures can make relationships appear perfect.

But real relationships are built on everyday moments, including disagreements.

"Love isn't just about the highlights," she says. "It's about showing up for each other consistently."

In the end, Mansi believes rating people itself is problematic. Reducing someone to a number overlooks the deeper qualities that matter in love.

Real love isn't about chasing perfection; it's about finding someone who makes life feel calmer, safer and quietly happier.