Women have every right to pursue their aspirations and should, regardless of societal expectations, embrace it without feeling any kind of guilt, insists Shahzeen Shivdasani.
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'I am 35, unmarried, living with my parents. I hope I am not a burden on them.'
'I am out with my friends who I am meeting after 10 years but I hope my child is eating well at home.'
'I am in the middle of an important international conference so I couldn't attend a wedding in the family.'
'I have come to a salon after two months but I haven't visited my mom for a week.'
Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
Women, irrespective of their age, tend to blame themselves for prioritising their own needs and desires.
This guilt, often stemming from societal pressures, unfairly burdens them.
But why should women feel guilty all the time?
It's time to shift this narrative and empower women to own their choices and identities without offering an apology.
Here are 10 things women should liberate themselves from feeling guilty about and reclaim their self-worth.
1. Not being married by a certain age
Women are often told that if they’re not married by a certain age, it won't happen for them at all.
Single, unmarried women are constantly under pressure, leading to anxiety especially if they haven't met the love of their life and settled down.
Understanding that everyone has their own timeline and journey is key.
No one should feel guilty as everybody’s path is different. Women should feel empowered to marry when they wish to or when they've met someone worthy. They should have the freedom to remain single if that's what they desire.
2. Whether you want kids or not
It is entirely up to a woman to decide whether she wants to have a child or not.
She should not be made to feel guilty if motherhood is not something she envisions for her life.
Having kids is a lifelong decision and one needs to be ready to put in the work.
If someone doesn't feel ready or doesn’t want to do it, we cannot shame them or make them feel guilty for making that decision. Motherhood is a choice, not an obligation.
3. Being ambitious in your career
Ambition is not just for men; many women love their jobs and strive for success.
Women have every right to pursue their aspirations and should absolutely embrace it without feeling any level of guilt, regardless of societal expectations.
4. Taking care of your mental health
Prioritising mental health is a strength, not a weakness.
If your health needs your attention, then you should not feel guilty about doing what you need to do.
Seeking support and taking a mental break is self-love and it is of utmost importance.
5. Saying NO and setting boundaries
Just because women are known to be nurturing, it doesn’t mean they can’t have boundaries.
You can be assertive and feminine at the same time.
Women should not feel guilty for standing up for themselves and saying NO when needed.
Knowing what doesn't work for you and being able to express it is an important trait everyone needs to have.
6. Your body
Society's unrealistic beauty standards make it very difficult for women to embrace their beauty and be themselves.
Instead, women should celebrate their bodies and be proud of how they look without any guilt or shame or carrying the burden of meeting unfair standards.
7. Pursuing personal passions
Women should not feel guilty for having hobbies and passions of their own and making time for those things.
These activities aid in personal growth and nurture the soul.
8. Seeking help and support
Women sometimes feel guilty about asking for support.
However, asking for support is knowing that you are not alone and understanding that you will be able to handle things better if you have the right people by your side.
Women should feel empowered to reach out when they need to and build a network they can turn to for emotional support.
9. Travelling alone
Women often feel guilty about travelling alone due to societal expectations and safety concerns.
The experience of solo travel is liberating and empowering and aids in personal growth.
Women should not feel guilty about taking time for rest, relaxation or adventure.
10. Setting financial boundaries
Sometimes, women feel guilty about setting financial boundaries or having financial independence.
But it is crucial for one's security and helps in making better-informed decisions about money.
Whatever financial decisions a woman needs to make, she should not feel ashamed about them.
Guilt should not be the reason that a woman doesn't speak up, be herself or believe in herself.
By challenging societal norms, embracing self-empowerment and allowing guilt to fade, women can truly allow themselves to shine, own who they are and embrace living life on their own terms.
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