"Merely because a woman talks openly, like a man if I may add, doesn't mean she is available."
"If she wants you to get a message, she will do it, you don't have to do anything."
In a weekly chat with readers, Rediff.com's Love Guru offers relationship advice.
For those who missed the chat on February 12, here's the transcript:
PRASAD KULKARNI: Hi I am married man... I came to know that my wife had an X BF.
I am feeling uncomfortable about this. She is no more in touch with him still I feel bad about it.
Love Guru: Prasad Kulkarni, you need to grow up.
Instead of admiring her honesty with you, and being thankful for the fact that she is not in touch with him (it's because your wife loves you, that ex-bf doesn't matter to her anymore), here you are thinking about yourself.
Get out of such narrow-mindedness, and learn to be happy.
ashish-devnani: I felt that girls look at boys academic record for love issues.
Love Guru: ashish-devnani, that would depend on what they are looking for, a study partner, or a partner
Md-Aadil Nasim: I love a girl and want to marry with her, but our culture is separate. How can I say this to my family?
Love Guru: Md-Aadil Nasim, say it as you would want your child to tell you if s/he was in your situation.
All parents have genuine concerns, so try and address them, assure them
V Gupta: Both of us were throwing signals and had small chats.
One day I proposed her, but she replied that she does not like to meet me in reply!
So I started reducing talk with her after this.
After 30 days a boy contacted me stating she is her boy friend and not to contact her. Then I asked the girl about this boy, but the girl denied knowing him.
Love Guru: V Gupta, a strange story, indeed. Just what is it you want to know from me?
ashish-devnani: Dear LG, I like a girl very much from the bottom of my heart.
She is from my M.E class in mumbai, but the problem is that I am not as good as her in studies, I am sacred i might get insulted/ rebuffed when i express my feelings to her. please help.
Love Guru : ashish-devnani, why do you think she will be impressed or not by your academic record?
devtosh jha: How come married fall in love and girl accept the same?
Love Guru: Devtosh Jha, stranger things are known to happen, so why is this bothering you?
Santosh Patel: Hi LG Is there any Gurumantra for Sas Bahu Good Relation. Because my wife dont like mom even she help her in day to day work and looking after my child.
Love Guru: Santosh Patel, instead of looking for what is not there, why don't you try and work out the differences between them?
shyam gupta: Should widowers aged 56 try and find love???
Love Guru: Shyam Goel, last I checked, there is no age bar on finding love
rajat goel: hey let me know that if girl told me that she doesnt have feeling for me.
She is trying but not able to do that, in fact I'm also not able to get in touch with her because of my work but I love her too much. So what can I do to make feelings of mine in her heart.
She is so down to earth person. I want to marry her.
Love Guru: Rajat Goel, if she has told you she doesn't have feelings for you, why would you want to pursue her, entertain thoughts of marrying her?
Been watching too many Bollywood films?
Please don't your love life cues from films, what's shown on screen is just wishful thinking, to appeal to men like you.
In reality, when a woman says no she means a no. Leave it at that.
PRADEEP: I love a working women but unable to express myself what should I do however she also reciprocates to my signals
Love Guru: Pradeep, when you say unable to express yourself you mean you become tongue-tied?
In which case, why don't you try other mediums of communication -- sms, whatsapp, there are so many options. But only after you are certain that you are not misreading her signals
muthu-kumar thangaraj: Guruje... My gal friend wants me to talk all the time.
I got such bored of sharing my location, persons etc..thought that my happiness is affected to do so..now she wants to get married..she loves me lot...struck with it and needs help.
Love Guru: muthu-kumar thangaraj, what a problem. Here there are men who complain that they don't have a girl friend, and you say you are fed up of yours.
But let me caution, what you describe is normal in a relationship, so you better get used to it and learn to enjoy it.
She is looking for a sense of belonging from you, and here you are planning to push her away!
AMAR DESHMUKH: I am 45. Attracted towards a married woman in office of 33.
She is also speaking with me frankly. How can I recognise her feeling about me? or how can I approach her?
Love Guru: Amar Deshmukh, what does 'speaking frankly' mean?
That she shared her heart's secrets to you and that she loves you?
Merely because a woman talks openly, like a man if I may add, doesn't mean she is available.
If she wants you to get a message, she will do it, you don't have to do anything.
mohd-zaki: I have no girl friend.
Love Guru: mohd-zaki, find yourself one and come back here after that
kunal kumar: [SKB] What does constant eye contacts and occasional smile means from a girl?
Love Guru: kunal kumar, it could mean anything.
She may be dreaming about something, thinking of a funny incident, or sending you a signal. What do you think?
Also read
- 'Breaking up is never easy'
- 'We broke up but she still wants us to be friends'
- 'A married woman misses me'
- 'What's the secret to a happy marriage?'
- 'My GF's crying habit really disturbs me'
- 'She ignores me and refuses to marry'
- 'How do I impress a woman'
- 'Help! I am afraid to approach the girl I like'
- 'She slams her window shut when she sees me!'
- 'I tried approaching her and she yelled at me'
- 'I love a married man, what do I do?'
- 'Do you want to be the other woman in his life?'
- 'My wife left me and she refuses to return'
- 'She refused me because I live in a joint family'
- 'Should I marry a wealthy NRI or college crush?'
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)
