'My wife is in a relationship with someone'

"Anyone can marry; only the wise can make it last, for it is an institution that is designed to collapse in the smallest storm."

"Whatever you do, don't waffle, be decisive."

'My wife is in a relationship with someone' In a weekly chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff's Love Guru addresses their relationship problems and offers solutions.

For those who missed the chat on April 16, 2015, here's the transcript!

shalini mishra: I want a suggestion than what to do for my sex desire as I am widow only 36 years old..Pls suggest

Love Guru: Shalini Mishra, you read me wrong, I am the Love Guru, not the Sex Guru (though for some people the two terms Love and Sex are inter-changeable)

Shavi: Hello LG.. I couldn't bear it further, thus availed an Escort service.

It was not a pleasant experience, as on one side I was thinking about my wife, who is good in all aspects barring the three lettered work, whereas on the other a beautiful girl who was sitting with me and was having so many 'restrictions', as she was there for SEX and not LOVE. Not happy...

Love Guru: Shavi, so what is it you seek from me? This is no confessional booth, you know.

Vaib: I am frightened if broke my marriage then what about Sapana , she will commit suicide as per conversation with sapana. please help me..no time for me

Love Guru: Vaib, you have a complication on your hands. If I were you I'd go with the girl I am engaged to since it was after the girl I was in love turned me down that I went in for it.

Now because the first girl has a change of heart, doesn't mean I let down the second girl. Of course, that's my thinking, You could react differently, of course.

samarsingh: I am not satisfied from my wife. Pl suggest me love guru

Love Guru: Samarsingh, is she satisfied with you? Have you found out?

Maybe there are two unsatisfied souls trapped in your marriage? Find out, the answer may be illuminating.

Anyone can marry; only the wise can make it last, for it is an institution that is designed to collapse in the smallest storm.

Harish P Patil: Me 23 and she is 31.....I have more 4-5 yrs to settle in life job home etc.....but her parents having urgency for her marriage. Any suggestion?

Love Guru: Harish P Patil, what strikes me is not so much your "unsettled" status in life, but the age difference.

I hope you know what you are doing. Given the age difference, it's really tough to say who's right or wrong.

I mean, you are too young to settle in marriage. And in her case, one can understand the urgency as well. It's a tough call, really.

Whatever you do, don't waffle, be decisive.

Rahul Modi: [SKB] Hi LG I had a married friend he introduced me to his wife and we became close friends. I was close with their family.

Later the wife caught her husband having affair and when asked he said he loved other girl and after few years of struggle they got divorced.

Now I proposed to her and she and her family accepted, we both love each other but my family is opposing what to do?

Love Guru: Rahul Modi, since you have come this far are you afraid to go further? Before you proposed to her you didn't factor in your family's views? Or you took them for granted?

Love is serious business, I hope you have realised now. What should you do now?

I'd advise persuading your family to see your viewpoint. Failing which, it's your life, really, and you should decide who you want to live with.

Swastik: Hello LG,I am married for 12 years. Now I had seen that my wife is in relation with someone. Even our life has not gone smooth over the years. What should I do the next?

Love Guru: Swastik, before you do anything, please speak to her to find out why she is unhappy with you, which must be the reason why she is looking outside the marriage.

What you should do stems from what she tells you. Perhaps in her mind the differences are irreconcilable; maybe she is bored. Whatever, you won't know till you ask her about it.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

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