"Everyone is born with insecurities, the trick lies in not letting it dominate you, give room to it but don't let it control you."
Rediff.com's Love Guru says it like no other.
In an online chat every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru addresses relationship problems and attempts to offer earnest solutions.
For those who missed the chat on November 19, here's the transcript:
Zahir Shaikh: hi LG, I'm happily married man with 5 years of kid, my age is 36.
But whenever I see a women elder to me, mostly at the age of 45-55, I get attracted to her.
What should be done in this case, can i get some website which will have elder women for chat and relationship.
Love Guru: Zahir Shaikh, unfortunately this is not my expertise, but sure, go ahead and check out the web for what you want
Samik: I love a girl with bottom of my heart, so can i just confirm with her friend or can i discuss my feelings with her friend, is that ok?
Love Guru: Samik, there are great pitfalls to involving friends in a relationship, it could backfire in ways one doesn't expect.
Why don't you talk with the girl directly, rather than going through intermediaries?
Unless you are in the habit of letting your friends do your dirty work for you, or take your decisions, please go ahead
ravi-raut: I am a married person. From the start of marriage I done all things for happy marriage life but my wife doesn't mean it.
She didn't trust me beside this I do every thing to maintain good relationship but in vain. So many times I thought about divorcing her but I have 17 month child. what I can do to ?
Love Guru: Ravi-Raut, too many posts in your name, so I am responding to this one. Why doesn't she trust you, have you found out?
Are you the only she doesn't trust, does she trust other people?
In which case, the fault should lie with you.
Now how do you win back her trust? By doing the exact of what you did to lose it. To know more, you need to ask her, have a heart to heart with her
Raghu Nandan Mallik: Later she gave statement against me. As a result I had to face trail of 3 years. And I won the case.
But during this period I lost my job, money, health, respect from society, everything.
Now my wife wanted to come back, as she said she was forced to give statement against me by police. Now what should I do?
Love Guru: Raghu Nandan Mallik, this must be the most tragic story heard on these pages, I hope no one ever goes through what you have gone through.
Now, as to what you should do: Do you believe the girl when she says she was forced to give a statement against you?
More importantly, do you still love her after all this? If you do, and if you trust her, the answer is obvious.
Adnan Chogle: LG, How to handle insecurity in a relation?
Love Guru: Adnan Chogle, the first step in handling insecurity is to admit it exists.
Because, half the time, folks have no idea why they are reacting in a particular manner; once they realise it is insecurity, then handling it -- for both parties -- becomes easy.
Everyone is born with insecurities, the trick lies in not letting it dominate you, give room to it but don't let it control you
sheetal: Hi LG, my is against my boyfriend, I spoke about him he is a very nice guy, it's a religion issue, I tried my best to make her understand that i will be happy with her, but she does not understand, please help.
Love Guru: Sheetal, I presume you are talking about your mother here? Or sister? Or someone else? Can you please clarify?
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)
