"Wait for the right person to come along."
"Ask yourself how far are you willing to go to marry this girl? On your honest answer to yourself will depend your future course of action."
In an online chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru offers relationship advice.
When you are in a relationship, there are bound to be issues.
While most of it can be sorted through a healthy conversation, sometimes, you might need intervention.
In an online chat with readers on July 9, Rediff.com's Love Guru addressed relationship issues and offered solutions.
For those who missed the chat, here's the unedited transcript:
happyraj: I'm in love and I want to propose her. But she does not give me any reply of message. And she ignore me many times. What should I do now?
Love Guru: Happyraj, before you propose to her, please find out if she feels the same away about you. Else, you could be wasting your time, as well as set up yourself for a heartbreak.
Ramit oberoi: hi, I am a divorced woman. I am 28 years old and I have a son who is 8 years old.
No one is accepting to marry me because of my son. Also because my son is naughty this can have effect on my relation even if I get married.
Even I sometimes get irritated with my son's behaviour. What should I do?
Love Guru: Ramit Oberoi, worry not. There are many matchmaking sites when divorcees are able to find a new match. Please visit the good ones, I am sure you will find who you are looking for, online.
Avinash Talreja: In love with a girl from two years, we are in live in relationship, but I do not have urge for sex, what shall I do
Love Guru: Avinash Talreja, loss in urge happens sometimes and it is nothing to be concerned about.
Visit your doctor for consultations, she or he may recommend a good urologist who may recommend medication for your problem.
Jyotirmayee Sahu: Hi LG, I'm 45 and my wife 37. After 15 yrs of married life, we have a very poor sex life, I prefer sex at night. But most of the time she is feeling sleepy, tired, but can watch TV late night.
Most of the time I'm feeling neglected.
I don't think she is having any affair. But she is not showing any interest in sex. What should I do Now?
Love Guru: Jyotirmayee Sahu, that's a sad story. Will it be possible to move your session ahead by a couple of hours, to a time when she is awake?
Unlike men, women do a lot more things, so it's natural that she is tired at night, and it will help if you make the necessary changes in your schedule to accommodate her.
HARPREET SINGH JUNEJA: love guru I'm having physical relationship with 8-10 girls, bcz of that I have fixed lots of slandered in my life regarding girls due to that I can't get married bez these slandered alwz make barrier for every girl which are suggested by my family please suggest me what to do.
Love Guru: Harpreet Singh Juneja, so you made your bed and now you are unable to sleep in it?
I really have no solution to your problem. Have you thought of marrying on the quiet, without anyone knowing about it?
N R Sharma: When you say to a women ' Marry me' and she replies ' I love you'. What exactly she means.
Love Guru: N R Sharma, that could mean many things, but the thing is, you should ask her what she means by her answer.
Preeti Jagtap: I saw him in marriage ceremony of our relatives, I feels like he also looking at me, and I also feel something for him, but when I asked him about friendship, he said he don't know me and I'm totally stranger for him. I like him what should I do ?
Love Guru: Preeti Jagtap, so you asked him a question and he answered, what more is left to be said?
He has indicated clearly that he is not interested, so why are you wasting your time thinking about it?
G M Consulting: I'm married for 30 years n have lost interest in my wife and in sex. But I get attracted to other women. Is this natural with most men ?
Love Guru: G M Consulting, I don't know if it is natural or not, but as one ages the body does undergo changes. But I do hope you will extend the same leeway to your wife to find happiness elsewhere as you expect her to do in your case.
Shammi Khandelwal: Hi my ex-wife wants my son to live with her even though court has granted orders for my son to live with me.
Love Guru: Shammi Khandelwal, this is a question for your lawyer, not me I am afraid.
manu khurana: [SKB] hi I'm not having a BF and am 34...been single for 4 years totally..I never found a guy who likes me although I like few men...what to do??
Love Guru: Manu Khurana, maybe you will find better luck online? Have you tried visiting the matrimony/dating sites depending on what you are looking for?
There are safe and secure sites through which you can meet interesting people of your liking, try them.
upasak ganguly: I never had a girlfriend. Always been in the friend-zone.The only Girl I approached properly told me take things easy. I'm 21. what should I do?
Love Guru: Upasak Ganguly, wait for the right person to come along.
AKC Fashions: I like a girl in my office... after off the office we go together to take our public commute... she started giving me privacy... now from last two three days she is getting irritating from me.. she notice me all the time in office.. but don't know why she is not accepting me.. what should I do?
Love Guru: AKC Fashions, what I think is that initially she was being polite to you as a colleague but must've realised that you had misread her intentions as something else.
This clearly shows she is not interested in you. You could try and behave like a gentleman and hope that impresses her, or like a boor in which case you will face the consequences.
hina khan: Hi, One guy has proposed me for marriage who has a very philandering past (many one night stands, live in relationships, etc) he said till date he has not proposed any gal for marriage. And he told me all this just to keep things clear.. should I accept the proposal or reject?
Love Guru: Hina Khan, I am sure you have the famed women's instinct in abundance, so what does your gut feeling say?
In such cases, alas, there is no sureshot way to know if he is saying the truth, or merely repeating what he's told others, barring going with one's instinct. But the mere fact that you writing in to ask this means that you are not sure of him. Go with that feeling.
yusuf khan: My g/f is married but she say to me continued physical relationship and she want to meet me. What can I do plz, help us
Love Guru: Yusuf Khan, I am surprised when adults like you write in and ask what to do when you don't want to do something.
If you don't want it, just say no and walk away. Do you really need someone to tell you this basic rule?
Rummy123: Hi, I don't know how you could help me or not. but still want to give a shot,I am a married guy, I have been in contact with a girl to whom I have never met in person, I like talking to her and I want to be friends with her. But according to her, she is in love with me. I have tried talking to her and told her to be friends to which she is not agreeing. so what I do
Love Guru: Rummy123, so she is in love with you but what does she expect from you? Are you fine with it? Possible to give her that?
And do according to the answer. But if you get into a relationship, be aware of the pitfalls, its impact on your family life, etc. What if your wife were to be in a similar situation, will that be okay for you?
Neel Thomas: I am falling a love with other caste girl and my family against my marriege so how I can solve it
Love Guru: Neel Thomas, first of all, ask yourself how far are you willing to go to marry this girl? On your honest answer to yourself will depend your future course of action.
There are only 3 options for you. One, try harder at convincing your parents, they could still come around.
Two, go ahead with marriage despite their objections and hope they come around, and three, forget the girl. What will you do?
kpj: hi I am failing to find a suitable match for me for marriage. I have no one to ask for any help or assistance. My family does not care. how can I speed up this process.thanks
Love Guru: kpj, it is very sad that your family does not help in your pursuit to find a life partner.
However, do not despair, if the real world fails you there is always the virtual world to help you.
Go online, there are any number of matrimony and dating sites, choose the best ones as they are secure and you won't be scammed, and look there, I am sure you will be lucky
kpj: hi why do people ask for gf bf when one is proposing for marriage ... does it mean anything..thanks
Love Guru: kpj, this is best answered best by those who do it. As to why they do it, I can only guess, but it will still be only a guess. It's as good as yours, that's all.
aseem-singh: I already made a lot of girl friends but never been success for a good romantic, long time faith. So, kindly tell me that what type girls will be suitable for me to a life time happiness.
Love Guru: Aseem singh, there's no "my type" or "my kind", when it happens it happens. So keep hoping for the best from your future relationships, and who knows, you may find the one who feels about it the same way you do.
amit sudama prasad: Hi guruji my wife is having an affair with our society man I catch her taking lip kiss on photo.
Now she is telling she was having affair but not now how can I trust her and find out if she is telling truth or not
Love Guru: Amit sudama prasad, that's very shocking news.
I am glad you are not being angry or upset, but willing to take her back.
You know, marriages are built on trust, and when that trust is lost it is very hard to rebuild.
For now, at least, you will have to trust her, and take her back. And I hope you don't find your trust being destroyed again.
rajkumar sharma: This is the situation of my friend that he is in relationship with girl and both them want to get marry but sides of girl is everything ok almost but there is problem behalf of my friend his parents are not ready and will not be ready any situation and my friend can't go against them in any situation so what should them do for happy life.
Love Guru: Rajkumar sharma, it's very nice of you to write on behalf of your friend, and wish everyone had a friend like you.
Given the situation you describe, your friend has few options left.
One, try and persuade his parents.Two, go against them and hope they will come around (this happens often), and three, forget her.
The decision is his, really, after weighing all options.
Boota: hello guru ji, I'm from punjab, now I'm in Noida for searching a job.
One day I see a girl in metro. Then I go for here daily. I am daily seeing her.
I am worried, how to approach and purpose. plz help me.
Love Guru: Boota, seems like you are having the ride of your life. But my caution is, has the girl given any indication that she is interested in you?
Think carefully, since pre-emptive action otherwise could land you in trouble.
If you think she looks receptive, you can try making polite, small conversation with her, about the delay, timing, distance, weather, and see how it goes.
KRUNAL BHATT: My wife is doubting on me with all girls, I am shock to hear from her that she doesn't like even I talk with my cousin sisters,suggest me what can I do?
Love Guru: Krunal Bhatt, tell me, is there a history behind her suspicion?
If not, feel happy since jealousy is a sign of possessiveness, as also affection/love.
I mean, if I wasn't loving you, why would it matter if you spoke to one or 100 women?
At the same time, if you feel the attention is excessive, you could be a little more persuasive in your demonstrations of your feelings for her. Thats reassuring
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Also read
- 'How do I overcome my college crush?'
- 'My wife gets hyper for no reason'
- 'My BF is very narrow minded'
- 'My sister's friend has a crush on me'
- 'My wife is in a relationship with someone'
- 'I am unable to understand her'
- How can I keep my wife happy?
- I'm in love with a senior colleague'
- 'How does one get over a broken heart?'
- 'We broke up but she still wants us to be friends'
- 'A married woman misses me'
- 'What's the secret to a happy marriage?'
- 'My GF's crying habit really disturbs me'
- 'She ignores me and refuses to marry'
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
