Sex queries: 'Health risk of a one-night stand'

Hello Doctor,

I am Manoj, 33, and my wife is Sunita, 32. We both have been married for 4 years and we have a 3-year-old son. After marriage everything was good but since the last 2 years we have sex once in 3 months. I try my best to convince her but she is always saying she is tired and feeling sleepy. We both are working. Please give me advice -- how can I convince her, because I am really getting frustrated?

Dear Manoj:

The high initial 'honeymoon' sexual frequency cannot be expected to be sustained. A reduction in frequency is the norm rather than the exception. Nonetheless, the sexual frequency of once in three months is definitely low. The first approach would be to try and discuss this with one another and arrive at a mutual agreeable sexual frequency. There has to be some 'give and take' in this matter. As a general rule, the male libido and sexual urge is stronger than the female's. Read Chapters 9 and 39 in my book, Sexx Is Not A Four Letter Word. This book is easily available online at rediff Books.

Dear Sir,

My wife has very low lubrication during sex, even after foreplay. Kindly suggest ways to increase her lubrication.

Is it true that females who readily get lubricated during foreplay are more sexy than females who do not?

Atul Mujumdar

Dear Atul:

Your point here is whether your wife's vaginal lubrication is because of lack of sufficient sexual arousal or in spite of being aroused. Some women have arousal disorders that are responsible for the poor lubrication while other women have lubrication problems in spite of being highly aroused. We see several cases of both kinds. You need to consult a sexual medicine expert.

It is not true that women who lubricate more are more sexual. That would be like saying that a man who ejaculates 5 ml of semen is sexier than a man who ejaculates 4 ml.

Dear Dr,

Please help me! I am Rohit from UP. I am 26 years old. When I was 13-14, I once went to my native place, a village, with a group of friends. I went to the pond to bathe and play and by seeing what they are doing, all us friends had sex with a buffalo. We went home and went to sleep and the next day my penis was paining, so I cleaned it with hot water and felt relief. After that there was no problem, but sometimes I have pain in my testes, otherwise there is no problem.

Now thing is that I am getting married soon, please advise me:

1. If that infection can persist in my testes till now?
2. What test I should go for before my marriage and family planning?

Need your valuable advice desperately.

Regards,
Rohit

It is not possible to tell you through e-mail on the basis of your story whether you have really contracted any infection due to this experience. You need to undergo an andrological check up and, if necessary, a few tests.

Dear Sir,

I am Rohan and I am 27 years old. I had protected sex about 1 year back with an unknown partner whose sexual history is not known. After that night I developed some symptoms like fever and body ache. I consulted a general doctor and he advised me that it's just my anxiety that is resulting in these symptoms.

Till now I am in constant fear whether I have contracted any STD or so. I have not been able to concentrate on work lately and all the time I have the following symptoms:

1) Feeling lethargic
2) Loss of energy
3) Body ache
4) Some weird sensation and pain on my face
5) Pain under armpits
6) Some skin infections

I have become very paranoid. I would like to know about the all tests available in the market for STDs. I want to get these tests done in order to free my mind. I have got HIV and hepatitis tests done so far ,which have come out negative.

Kindly advise me about complete body checkup and tests available so that I can find out the cause of these symptoms.

Thanks,
Rohan

You are needlessly dramatising a simple and straightforward situation. The diagnostic protocol for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) is standardised and can be conducted by any sexual medicine expert.

Do you have a question for Dr Krishnamurti? Simply e-mail him at sexualqueries@rediffmail.com; responses will be published each week and names will be withheld upon request.

Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti is an international award-winning andrologist and microsurgeon. He is the only Indian on the world's first-ever batch of sexual medicine fellows (Oxford, 2007). Best known for the Krishnamurti Operation for Peyronie's Disease, he is also the founder of Andromeda, India's first andrology center, and author of the book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. Click here to purchase the book from rediff Shopping.

Disclaimer: Please note that Dr Krishnamurti will be answering the most relevant queries at his discretion each week. His advice may not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and while it is in the capacity of professional medical counselling, it in no way should be considered an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh