You have to decide whether you want to spend the rest of your life unhappily married or are brave enough to go it alone, counsels Rediff's Love Guru.
Are you in a relationship where you feel you are not being appreciated?
That your needs are not being met?
If you are staying in a relationship because you are too scared of staying alone, it could be a red flag, warns Rediff's Love Guru.
- You can post your love and relationship-related questions to Love GURU HERE.
Anonymous: I am an educated girl from Mumbai. But due to health issues, I had a lot of trouble finding the right partner for marriage.
I do think that I married down but he was OK with my health challenges and does not have as many problems as I do.
I knew our compatibility could be a concern given our differences in upbringing (our families are very different plus he has a lot of childhood trauma) and principles, but I really wanted someone who is working and educated, if not equal to me.
After five years of marriage, I regret this decision each day since he is not the person I thought I would get married to. But I always have to overlook all his negatives since he has accepted me despite my flaws.
Very rarely does he bring it up, and friends and family who know my situation always ask me to look at the brighter side of the relationship -- that he is caring and does respect me despite my disability. But for how long can I go on like this?
I know no relationship is perfect. But because of our emotional struggles, there is a lack of trust, intimacy or any form of bonding in this marriage.
We do not share our finances or plan to have a child either. I am worried about leaving him because being alone scares me. But he is someone who really does not care.
I can cry myself to sleep or disappear for a few days and he really does not care.
If I get divorced, my family may still accept me but I personally am someone who would shun being social and feel like an outlier.
Plus, being alone really scares me. What do I do?
The first mistake you made was settling for him because, as you put it, he 'accepted' you.
You're not some cracked vase at Westside that was to be given away at a discount!
You have to decide now whether you want to spend the rest of your life unhappily married or are brave enough to go it alone.
And who says disabled people don’t fall in love?
There are many success stories out there and great people out there.
Your marriage is an arrangement that is not working out for you. Think about it.
You don’t have children to complicate matters and it’s still possible for you to find a life partner who doesn’t think of your health issues as a burden that isn’t worth bearing.
But if not, you should be content with being single and that is your choice alone.
Also you say he is caring and then say he doesn’t care -- what am I missing here?
- You can post your love and relationship-related questions to Love GURU HERE.
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