If living with his family is something your partner insists on, ask yourself if it is a deal-breaker for you, advises rediffGURU Shalini Singh, founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians.
Marriage can be one of the toughest decisions in anyone's life.
You move out of the comfort of your parents' home into a completely new environment.
Would you be comfortable sharing your personal space with your husband's family?
The decision to move out or live separately is likely to upset elders and relatives, especially he belongs to a joint family.
How do you express your feelings firmly without offending or hurting anyone's sentiments?
rediffGURU Shalini Singh, founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians, recommends that young couples pause and think before they come to a decision.
- You can ask your dating and relationship-related questions to rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.
Sangita: I am in an inter-caste relationship.
In my family, my father has problems with this relationship but I am ready to marry him despite all circumstances.
Since he lives in a joint family, I felt there may be lack of space.
When I told him that I would like us to live separately after marriage because I need privacy and personal space, he said I am being selfish and trying to separate him from his family even though I am leaving my own parents.
He also said that he does not need this kind of privacy.
I feel he may be ready to leave me if I do not agree with him.
So what should I do? Should I leave him too?
This is the understanding:
1. Your father does not support your relationship.
2. The individual you are in a relationship with lives with his family and wishes to continue to do so post marriage; you, however, are not keen to live in such a setup.
3. Your partner is open to let go of the relationship if you ask to live away from his family.
This is what I would do if I were you.
Is living with your partner's family is a deal-breaker and something you will not let go?
If this is what it is, and your partner is not ready to move out, I would suggest that you pause this relationship, take some time to think about it and then take a decision.
- You can ask your dating and relationship-related questions to rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.
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