rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach, relationship expert and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers, explains how to resolve relationship struggles as a couple.
What you do when you have to choose between your parents and partner?
Should you sacrifice your love to keep your family happy?
rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach, relationship expert and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers, explains how to resolve relationship struggles as a couple.
- You can post your relationship-related questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE
Anonymous: My boyfriend and I are trying to get married but there are three things we felt we couldn't help with -- 1. Convincing his parents, 2. Convincing my parents, and 3. A marriage to happen from different religion.
We thought we'll stay just the same without getting married. But the reality is I need mental support being a single child without father and a sick mum to be taken care of.
I can't randomly just leave my mother and come. He understood that and he said we'll wait, but I don't know how long I have to, because I'm already feeling done with all the family and relative issues that came in because of these things.
Now we have solved his side of the problem. His parents are now happy to have me as their DIL (daughter-in-law), but then we are stuck with whom I have to convince -- my sick mother who doesn't understand things and is not ready to come with me, my grandmother who never understands the reality of today's life, or my mother's elder brother who has never cared about my life earlier but claims to have been responsible all these days.
It was I who took all the effort to make it to a position where I'm independent financially. But because he said he'd fund my marriage it's been told that I was wrong in terms of my decision in choosing my boyfriend.
Though my uncle knows my boyfriend a nice person, he refuses considering the religion issue.
I don't know how to get this problem sorted, because it's already five years that we've been struggling and still couldn't find a solution.
Dear Anonymous, being financially independent can help a lot in taking decisions and sticking to them.
What does your boyfriend say about the issues that you are facing?
He could help by playing the role of the prospective son-in-law and do what's required to get through to your mother.
That will take off a load from you and you will also be able to empathise with your mother and her concerns and address them appropriately.
Your boyfriend and you need to come up with a plan to deal with this together.
- You can post your relationship-related questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE
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