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'I'm 33, Can't Find A Partner. Help!'

By rediffGURU SHALINI SINGH
Last updated on: June 11, 2024 09:49 IST
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If you meet someone, start as friends and take it slow or a pace you both would wish to gauge the person, recommends rediffGURU Shalini Singh.

  • You can post your questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.

I am 33, not able to find a partner

Illustration: Dominic Xavier/Rediff.com

Have you been single for too long?

Are you in a relationship that is not keeping you happy?

How do you find a partner who is compatible with you?

Is it possible to find long lasting love on a dating app?

rediffGURU Shalini Singh, dating coach and founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service, offers advice on issues relating to love and compatibility in marriage, dating and more.

  • You can post your questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.

Anonymous: Hello Gurus, Please advise what are the downsides of not getting married.
I am a male, have crossed 33 years of age and I am not finding a suitable person.
How to assess a person who is good at heart?
What are the pros and cons of getting married? Please advise.

First off, 33 is young. You can be 43 or 53 and still feel young.

You may keep looking if you do wish to find someone special.

Even if you meet someone with intent, start as friends with intent, take it slow or a pace you both would wish to gauge the person.

As for staying single or not, it is a personal choice. I see it as a pro to be with someone special and I also believe love can be found more than once.

 

Anonymous: Hi, I met this girl.
We were in a relationship for two years.
She left me after two years because I was from a different religion.
I am a vegetarian and she wants to marry, but I am not quite settled in life because I have lost my job due to the AI strike.
She wants someone who can travel and stay with her in her country as well.
As she is half Indian and half foreigner, I was willing to sacrifice everything just to be in a relationship so I told her that I was willing to stay with her in her country.
I told her it does not matter which religion she is from and food should be just personal preferences but she is not willing to continue the relationship.
What can I do as I have deep feelings for her?
Any idea how to sort this out? I am not able to concentrate on anything.

The girl is clear that she does not wish to continue the relationship, whatever her reasons may be.

Breakups hurt and you need to travel this journey of hurt which will include sadness, grief and anger.

Let it pass, you will be fine with time.

It is her choice to her to let go; the sooner you do so, the better it is for your emotional being.

 

Is it normal for my boyfriend to be chatting with his cousins more often?
I'm curious and I've been asking him what's going on because at first they saved each other's contact with their real names but now they changed to 'lovely cousin' with some love emojis.
He used to tell me that I should send him my pictures whenever I was away from him.
Now he stopped doing that yet he puts his cousin's pic on status daily with different captions including love emojis.

When I ask him, he always replies that there is nothing between them.

It's normal to be interacting with cousins daily -- they are siblings too. But the behaviour you have shared does make the antennas go up.

We are going with this assumption that you and your boyfriend are adults, are 20 years and above.

If I were in your place and my sixth sense came into play, I would put this relationship on hold till I gather complete trust in my boyfriend.

Wishing you the best.

  • You can post your questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.

Please Note: The questions and answers in this advisory are published to help the individual asking the question as well the large number of readers who read the same.

While we value our readers' requests for privacy and avoid using their actual names along with the question whenever a request is made, we regret that no question will be answered personally on e-mail.

All content and media herein is written and published online for informational purposes only. It should not be relied on as your only source for advice.

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