'I Restarted My Life At 39 After Divorce'

'One day, I realised my children were watching me tolerate pain. That was my turning point. I wanted them to see their mother as someone who respected herself, not someone who stayed in a non-existent marriage because she was scared.'

When Khyati (name changed on request) looks back at her twenties, she smiles at how simple her definition of love used to be.

"At 19," she recalls, "I thought love was all about butterflies and forever. I believed that once you found your person, everything would just fall into place."

She had married young, certain that she and her husband would grow together. But as the years rolled by, their worlds slowly drifted apart.

"He loved going out, socialising, staying up late. I preferred a quieter life -- home, family, early bedtime. At some point, our lives stopped overlapping. We were living under the same roof but in different worlds."

They had been together nearly 20 years when she discovered that her husband was having an affair with a younger woman.

"My world just collapsed," she says. "I felt betrayed, humiliated, heartbroken all at once. You never think it'll happen to you. When it does, you stop recognising your own life."

For the sake of their two children, Khyati tried to forgive. She decided to give her marriage another chance.

"I kept hoping that love and history would win. But once your trust breaks, it's like a mirror; you can glue it back but the cracks always show. Every time he stepped out, a part of me wondered where he was."

After months of trying, she reached her breaking point.

"One day, I realised my children were watching me tolerate pain. That was my turning point. I wanted them to see their mother as someone who respected herself, not someone who stayed in a non-existent marriage because she was scared."

Walking away after two decades of marriage wasn't easy. She had been a stay-at-home mother for years, financially dependent and emotionally drained.

"The emotional toll was heavier than I expected," Khyati says. "When a marriage ends after 20 years, it's not just a breakup; it feels like your whole identity has been shaken. I kept thinking, 'How do I start over at this age?'

"The betrayal hit the hardest... knowing the person I trusted the most could do that to me. It broke something inside me."

For months, Khyati went to bed crying and woke up with a heaviness in her chest. Even simple things like making breakfast or going to work felt like she was dragging herself through mud. "It wasn't just sadness. It was the shock of realising that the life I'd built for two decades wasn't really mine anymore."

"Starting over at 39 was terrifying. I hadn't worked in years. I didn't have savings and, emotionally, I was shattered. The hardest part was facing the silence -- the kind that hits you at night when you're alone in a new house and everything feels uncertain."

She refused to move back with her parents. 'I didn't want to be a burden," she says. "I wanted to stand on my own feet."

She began applying for jobs. "Honestly, I didn't feel brave at all. I just knew I had no other choice. I didn't even remember how to make a CV."

Khyati returned to teaching, a profession she'd left after having kids and picked up extra tutoring and administrative work. "Earning my first salary after so many years was empowering. It reminded me that I was capable. I could rebuild my life one step at a time.

"After the divorce, I couldn't afford my own place on a single income," she says. "So I rented a small flat with two girls much younger than me. It was strange at first, three women who were in completely different phases in their lives living together. But it reminded me that life hadn't ended. I could still start again."

There were nights she cried herself to sleep. But waking up every morning, making her own tea, going to work... it made her feel human again.

Her children, too, were adjusting.

"They were confused and upset at first as they are still very close to their dad and they only got to stay with him during the weekends. They also missed family outings," she admits. "But as they saw me calmer and happier, they began to understand.

"I never badmouthed their father. I wanted them to love both parents. Kids shouldn't have to choose sides."

Two years after her divorce, love found her again -- this time, in the most unexpected way.

"At first, I wasn't looking at all," she laughs. "A friend convinced me to try a dating app just for fun. I thought, 'What's the harm?'"

That's how she met him.

"He messaged me first. His profile was simple and he seemed genuine. He too had been divorced almost a decade ago. When we met for coffee, we ended up talking for hours. It felt easy, something I hadn't felt in years."

What resonated most with her was his kindness. "He never judged me for my past. He knew I came with baggage -- two kids, a divorce -- and he embraced it all. He made me feel seen."

She took her time introducing him to her children.

"I didn't rush them into anything. I wanted them to accept him at their own pace. Once they saw how he treated me, their resistance faded. He never tried to be their father; he became their friend first."

But learning to trust again, especially since she had children, wasn't easy. "As a mother, your guard is always up," she says.

"I needed to know he wouldn't just love me but also respect my kids and my role as their mother. I watched how he interacted with him, how patient he was, how he listened. That told me everything I needed to know. The day I realised I could trust him with them, I knew I could trust him with my heart."

Four years after her divorce, Khyati remarried. Just recently, she has bought a home with the savings she built by working multiple jobs.

"I literally started my life from scratch at 39 and, at 43, I'm exactly where I want to be," she says.

"Back then, happiness meant expensive vacations and fancy dinners. Now, it's peace. It's cooking dinner after work, watching a movie with my kids and finally growing with someone who shares the my ideology."

She now co-parents peacefully with her ex-husband.

"We're not friends but we're not enemies. We both love our kids and that's enough common ground. He is a good father at the end of the day and we talk only when it is about the kids."

Khyati believes her story isn't one of heartbreak but of rebirth. "Divorce destroyed me but now, in hindsight, it was the best thing that happened to me. I found myself again."

To women scared to leave an unhappy marriage, she says, "Don't rush but don't stay out of fear either. Make a plan. Save quietly. Reconnect with yourself.

"The first step is the hardest but once you take it, life starts opening up again."

Khyati is proud that she didn't give up on herself. She built herself a new life piece by piece, job by job, tear by tear. And every bit of it is hers.