rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack explains why dating a married guy can be a deal-breaker.
Imagine a guy is flirting with you.
You acknowledge his feelings. You flirt back.
And then he tells you...that he's married!
He explains that his marriage is complicated.
What do you do?
Should you continue dating him or end the friendship before it hurts you more?
"It was definitely wrong of him to lead you on, and never mention that he is already married," warns rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO of Quack Quack, an online dating website.
Anonymous: I met a guy who was my realtor trying to sell me a property. The property was shortly purchased.
Later on, he took my personal number and started texting me. It was just a 'Hi...Hello' kind of thing. Soon it turned into one-hour calls during his office hour and the calls happened every three days.
Once, he asked me to come on a vacation with him. I agreed since both of us were compatible in our thoughts.
Whenever we spoke, our conversations were casually flirty.
Every time I went to see the property he used to be there. Since it was his office too, he made sure I was well taken care of.
After a few days, I started reciprocating his care.
Recently, during a conversation I asked him to come to my city.
As our relationship status was not defined, I thought he'd want to spend some time with me. The vacation we were planning was postponed after a month.
Yesterday, during a conversation, he revealed that he is married.
I was shocked since he never talked about it. At this point, he'd known everything about me from my family members.
Now he says he did not want to hurt me. He said we are friends, we were taking the vacation as friends. But the truth is, I am hurt since I had just started reciprocating to his flirtiness.
I don't know what to do further as I know he has hurt me and he should not have flirted with me. He should have told me that he was married right at the beginning.
He just said it never occurred in any conversations.
I confronted him to know why he wanted to go on a vacation with me when he had a wife.
He just said he meant, (that we'd holiday) as friends and that his marriage is complicated.
Should I continue talking to him or end the so-called friendship?
Because at one point I was sure he liked me, he praised me. He called me beautiful, and used to stare at me when I was not looking.
Dear Anonymous, I understand how confused and hurt you must be feeling.
It was definitely wrong of him to lead you on, and never mention that he is already married.
We don't know the dynamics of his marriage -- whether it is open or if he is hiding all this from his wife.
But I do get the sense that you do not want to be involved with a married person.
So, going on this trip, even if he says it's 'as friends' can complicate things.
I would suggest you think twice before continuing this 'so called friendship' and also before going ahead with the trip plan.
He might not care, but it can hurt you since your feelings are genuine.
I hope this helps.
- You can post your dating-related questions to rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
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