rediffGURU Shalini Singh, founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians, explains the difference between marriage and a live-in relationship.
What do you do when you and your partner come from different communities?
Your lifestyle, choices and expectations can become a point of conflict.
Would it be better to stay in a live-in relationship before marriage?
How do you convince your parents about choosing a live-in partner from a different community?
rediffGURU Shalini Singh, founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians, explains the difference between marriage and a live-in relationship.
Anonymous: I'm a software engineer from Bangalore. I am 28, and I am dating my girlfriend who is a Punjabi for four years now.
She comes from a modern family, eats non-veg and has a carefree lifestyle.
She suggests we go for a live-in relationship but my conservative Tamil parents strongly disapprove.
They feel our cultures and lifestyle don't match and we should not hurt each others' emotions and families.
Can a live-in relationship affect our future? What should I do?
Live-in relationship is a form of an exclusive committed relationship which means you are as committed to as one is when one is married -- socially, emotionally, physically and financially.
The key difference between marriage and a live-in relationship is the legal approval that comes with the former.
That said, both marriage and live-in are committed relationships and both require continuous effort. They are, in their own way, lifelong works-in-progress.
As for your journey with your partner, you might choose to begin with a live-in and add the legal stamp later.
If you plan to have children and continue living in India, it's important to understand how live-in relationships are viewed under local laws, as these vary across countries.
Now, about your cultural backgrounds -- one Tamilian, the other Punjabi -- yes, they're different. But that's also the beauty of it.
This is a wonderful opportunity to explore each other's culture, language and traditions. With time, families can also come together and find common ground.
And who knows? Once your families see the two of you living together, happy and compatible, they may come around and fully embrace your choice.
Wishing you both the very best.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE.
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