rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack tells you how to handle emotional manipulation and identify red flags in a relationship.
- You can post your dating and relationship questions to rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
Does your partner often compare you with their ex?
Do they keep reminding you how their ex was more fun, bold or behaved in a certain way?
How do you respond to their repeated comparisons?
"It is definitely unhealthy to constantly compare your partner with your ex," says rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating website.
- You can post your dating and relationship questions to rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
Anonymous: My boyfriend compares me to his ex who was more 'open-minded'.
I'm 26, he is 31 and works in an advertising agency.
We met through a common friend and got attracted.
He constantly talks about how his ex was more 'open-minded' when it came to intimacy, drinking and dressing.
Every time I tell him why I can't dress up in revealing tops or talk in a certain way, he makes me feel backward and boring.
He says he loves me but always jokes about how he wishes I could be more like her, especially in how 'free' she was.
Maybe I am overreacting but I also feel like maybe I'm never good enough.
My friend thinks it could be a form of emotional manipulation.
Honestly, it's too early to comment but I want to know how to find out if he is right for me.
You are definitely not overreacting and your friend might be on to something.
I am not going to go as far as emotional manipulation but it is definitely unhealthy to constantly compare your partner with your ex.
Bringing up your ex is not just demeaning but could also point that he is still not over her. I suggest you confront him about this.
Let him know that you do not appreciate the comparison; it isn't fair to you and it’s not fair of him to expect you to be like someone else, let alone his ex.
If he continues to do the same or tries to defend his behaviour instead of listening to what you have to say, please reconsider the relationship.
Hope this helps.
- You can post your dating and relationship questions to rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
Please Note: The question and answer in this advisory are published to help the individual asking the question as well the large number of readers who read the same.
While we value our readers' requests for privacy and avoid using their actual names along with the question whenever a request is made, we regret that no question will be answered personally on e-mail.
All content herein is written and published online for informational purposes only. It should not be relied on as your only source for advice.
If you choose to rely on any information provided herein, you do so solely at your own risk. Opinions expressed herein cannot necessarily provide advice to fit the exact specifics of the issues of the person requesting advice.
Similarly, information received via an external link embedded in an article cannot be relied on as your only source of advice.
© 2025