Andrologist and microsurgeon Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti will be responding to rediff readers' sexual queries on a weekly basis.
We invited Get Ahead readers to mail in their questions. Here is the next set of responses:
Doctor, I have following 2 questions. Thanks.
1. Masturbation: Last 4 months, I am doing this on regular basis because I am enjoying this. Will it harm sexuality and my health? (Especially my weight -- my weight has reduced). Is there any side effect of this?
2. Attraction to men: I get attracted to a few men. I can't describe the purpose because even I myself don't have any answer. It may be their touch, sex-intercourse, oral sex or emotions. I get attracted to those men whom I want to be close friends with or who have manly looks and are healthy. Why? Please help me and get back to me on this.
Dev
1. Questions on masturbation are unarguably the most repeated questions on sexual medicine Q & A sites and columns, especially in India. Most who harbour doubts about the potential effects of masturbation on various mind-body systems usually do not believe the abundant scientific evidence and reassurances to the contrary repeatedly presented by experts through these columns and the media. The same guys ask the same questions through different columns hoping that someone, some day, will say, 'Yes, masturbation does cause serious weaknesses. Please stop this practice immediately and forever.'
To their disappointment, however, expert after expert tells them the same opposite thing, viz. that MASTURBATION IS NOT HARMFUL. I'm sorry to poop your party, but I'm going to tell you exactly the same thing even more emphatically. MASTURBATION IS NOT HARMFUL. Chapter 9, Self Help is the Best Help, and Chapter 39, Masturbation Facts, in my book, Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word are dedicated exclusively to this subject. Read them once and for all and move on in life. You are already sounding like a spoilt gramophone record. Turn your attention to more important matters.
Yes, and this advice holds good for all you other readers who are in the same boat too.
2. Don't you know what this is called? You are homosexual. Come out of the closet, accept it and learn to live with it. This cannot be changed. If you do not have any attraction to women whatsoever, please don't get married to please your parents or fool society. It is just not fair to the lady.
Sir, please tell me at what time of a girl's periods, is it safe to have sex without having the chances of getting her pregnant? I am 23 now but still didn't know about this thing. I should know this because in 2 or 3 years I shall be marrying. I should know each and everything before that. Hoping for an early reply...
Congratulations! You are doing the right thing by trying to stay sex-educated and informed before your first time. It is not possible for me to teach you 'each and every thing' through this column, but you may educate yourself through websites like www.andrology.com and many others. To answer your present question: if the lady has regular 28-30 day cycles, it might be reasonable to suppose that the first few days immediately after the previous menstrual period, and the first few days immediately before the next menstrual period carry the least risk of pregnancy. But this is only a rough thumb rule. Read up.
Dear Dr. Krishnamurthy,
My marriage took place 18 months back. I have a beautiful partner. Her weight is more than me by 5-6 kg. When ever we are doing sex after 15-20 minutes foreplay, the real sex is lasting only 1-2 minutes. By that time, I ejaculate. When I'm checking with her regarding this this, her reply is that sometimes she is getting full satisfaction but sometimes not at all, only an excitement. The time I'm starting foreplay some oily water-like thing is coming from my penis which she doesn't like to have in contact with her body parts. When she feels this wetness, she feels like it is sputum. Moreover she don't like to kiss on lips, or suck lips. My major problem is premature ejaculation. Doctor, can you suggest me a solution for this and to convince my partner for oral sex and kissing on lips?
B regds,
Josh
There are medicines available nowadays to increase the rigidity of erections and to prolong ejaculation. With improved control over both erection and ejaculation, and the increased sexual confidence that stems from both of these, you will be able to focus better on partner satisfaction instead of worrying about your own problems. Discuss this matter with your partner. Find out what she likes, what she does not. Acquire knowledge from available sex manuals written by sexual medicine experts. Learn about the clitoris and the G-spot.
The fluid that emerges from your penis before ejaculation finally occurs is bulbo-urethral fluid, from the small glands that line the urethra. These are intended to lubricate the vagina during sexual intercourse, and are not abnormal secretions. They certainly have no relationship with sputum. If your partner is not agreeable with certain foreplay or sexual practices, you will have to reason with her and try to get her to become agreeable. If not, you have to respect her wishes.
Do you have a question for Dr Krishnamurti? Simply e-mail him at sexualqueries@rediffmail.com; responses will be published each week and names will be withheld upon request.
Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti is an international award-winning andrologist and microsurgeon. He is the only Indian on the world's first-ever batch of sexual medicine fellows (Oxford, 2007). Best known for the Krishnamurti Operation for Peyronie's Disease, he is also the founder of Andromeda, India's first andrology center, and author of the book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. Click here to purchase the book from rediff Shopping.
Disclaimer: Please note that Dr Krishnamurti will be answering the most relevant queries at his discretion each week. His advice may not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and while it is in the capacity of professional medical counselling, it in no way should be considered an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments.
