Singles surfing the Internet for relationships may need to more careful; a new poll shows many singles believe it is acceptable to tell a little white lie while dating online.
According to the latest 'Manners And Behaviours' survey by the US company, Engage.com, 24 per cent of the respondents believe it is okay to tweak the truth while dating online. The site, co-founded by Suneet Wadhwa, requires people to engage family and friends in the matchmaking effort.
While 30 per cent of the men polled believe one can lie while dating online, the corresponding figure for women was 19 per cent.
Twenty-one per cent of the respondents identified income as the main topic singles lie about in their online dating profile.
Next come weight/ body type (16 per cent) and age (14 per cent); 12 per cent consider it okay to lie about their height and the reason why they are looking for a relationship.
"Truthfulness may be the ideal, but many online daters seem to feel it is both necessary and acceptable to use little white lies," said Joelle Kaufman, vice president, Engage.com.
"For instance, we know women generally feel pressure to be younger when dating online, but the Engage.com survey shows men may feel even greater pressure to lie about their age. Users of traditional online dating sites complain about the lack of honesty within profiles."
When asked to rate their dating manners, 82 per cent rate themselves good to excellent. They also think their own dating manners are better than the manners of the people they date; only 66 per cent of respondents rated the manners of their dates as excellent to good.
As far as communications rules were concerned, 30 per cent say it is okay to blog about your date/ romantic relationship. Nearly 20 per cent feel it is acceptable to discuss details of your break-up on Web-based outlets like as MySpace or YouTube.
However, more than 80 per cent of the respondents felt it was improper to break up with someone via email, chat, instant messenger or SMS. Only nine per cent admitted to having separated with a girlfriend/ boyfriend using these modes of communication.
Nearly a quarter of the singles polled think it is appropriate to say I love you for the first time using email, chat, instant messenger or SMS, but only 11 per cent said they had ever done so. More men (29 per cent) than women (19 per cent) felt this was okay.
Get Ahead writer Merlin Francis, who found love online, has some suggestions for singles who plan to use the Net to find their soulmate:
- Be honest when writing your profile.
- Be VERY clear about what you expect from a partner and mention these details in your profile.
- It is very easy to be swayed and charmed by well-written e-mails. However, take your time and find out as much as possible about the person, before getting emotionally involved.
- Confide in your elders; they can guide you if required.
- And last but not the least, listen to your heart, it never betrays.
Anita Bora, in her article on Do's and dont's in cyberspace, gives these tips:
While writing a profile- Make sure to jot down your thoughts before actually posting them online.
- Organise your words and check your spellings. You don't want to be hasty and careless if you're looking to attract your potential soul mate!
- Be relaxed when you write the profile. Try not to lie, but don't reveal anything that you don't want to.
- Try to be yourself. If you are not a person who drops witty online liners in conversations, then don't try it in the ad.
- Be honest and straightforward about who you are and what you're looking for
- Be sincere. Your goal is to make someone sit up and take notice, not to make them run in the opposite direction.
While reading a profile
- Instead of focusing on the vital statistics of the person, pay attention the tone of the profile. A person can look great on paper, but can leave a lot to be desired in person.
- What is the general feeling you get from the ad and how do you feel? Does he/ she sound modest, pompous, funny, witty, genuine, caring?
- Does he/ she sounds negative, concentrating only on aspects that he/ she does not possess?
- Is the information provided enough for you to take the next step? If it's too sketchy, you might want to move on.
Diwan Rahul Nanda is chairman and MD, security organisation, Topsgrup, makes these suggestions for women who are dating online.
- While dating online, do not, under any circumstance, reveal any personally identifiable information in your profile, personal ads, or private e-mails. Use only the communication tools provided by your dating service or chat rooms.
- Use your judgement here.
- When you e-mail in private, you may want to consider using an anonymous e-mail account at a free site.
- Take your time to establish communication and move at your own pace.
- Be careful with your email signatures. They sometimes include phone numbers and addresses.
So, if you are planning to date online, have fun but be safe.
With inputs from the Get Ahead desk
