Got a question about your money? What you should or should not do with it?
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I live in a joint family and we own two houses. This family comprises of my mother, three brothers, one sister-in-law, two children.
My eldest brother is drowning in debt with the loan burden of both the houses.
The second, though employed recently, earns way too little to contribute to the home.
I have been working close to two years and I get a take home of around Rs 20,000.
My family wants me to take a loan to lessen the burden on my brother. But I prefer contributing more towards the running of the home.
Also, within a couple of years, I expect my second brother's marriage to get fixed and will have to help out.
I have Rs 20,000 in the bank and Rs 10,000 in the post office. Would you recommend me going for a loan?
If yes, what should the maximum amount be?
- Prashant Kumar
Hi Prashant,
I understand that relationships and responsibilities in a joint family can be complex.
If I were in your place, I would work towards creating an environment where members feel rewarded for taking responsibilities. Often, culturally, we feel inhibited to seek being rewarded and, eventually, everyone ends up feeling they aren't being appreciated and it is all unfair. Then, it's a matter of time before the family breaks up.
Your role could be that of supporting your eldest brother and, in turn, creating a certain degree of fairness with which the members of your family shoulder responsibility as well as receive support, appreciation and are rewarded for doing so.
In whose name are the two houses? I would assume they are in your eldest brother's name. If not, then you might consider putting that on your agenda. Because, if he is paying for the homes, it is only fair that he owns them.
Next, your family needs to come to an understanding of when each of you brothers is going to pay for their own house.
One way could be that, before a brother gets married, he needs to move out or buy the house (along with the loan) from your eldest brother. This way, each brother at least takes responsibility for his own financial life in the near future.
Alternatively the three of you could fix up a date, say five years from now (not related to marriage), when the property paid for by your eldest brother would belong to him and he could sell one part and repay loans.
As far as you are concerned, you could look at contributing towards the repayment of part of the loan and then buying the second house from your brother in the near future. Or, you could save the money for a down payment for another house.
However, I don't see how this can be an alternative to paying for expenses. The family expenses need to be shared in a fair manner in any case. And I wouldn't encourage you to borrow money to pay for expenses.
There are many complexities in your situation and it would foolish for anyone to assume that a good idea would be easy to put into practice. On the contrary, I would say an idea would only be as good as its implementation.
What I truly appreciate is the fact that you can see how your family finances are intricately involved in the dynamics of how your family can stay together... and prosper.
Illustration: Dominic Xavier
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