Sourav Ganguly lashed out at the previous Dilip Vengsarkar-led selection committee on Thursday, saying he decided to retire to save himself the humiliation of being treated as the "scarificial goat" all the time while others are spared.
"There is no point playing like this. I am not willing to play at their (selectors') mercy. They will pick you now and then dump you. Why should I be the sacrificial goat all the time? It was difficult to accept," Ganguly, who announced his retirement from international cricket on Tuesday, said.
"If a gun is held at your head, how far can you bear it. That too after playing 450 matches. I played badly in only one series. But others are not dropped. I have scored the highest number of runs after comeback," he was quoted as saying by Bengali daily Aaj Kaal.
"How long would I have played? Maybe, up to 2009. Maybe, seven more Tests. For that I was not prepared to take any more humiliation," he added.
Ganguly said being dropped from the Rest of India squad for the Irani Trophy by the selection panel led by Vengsarkar was the last nail in the coffin.
"I never thought I will be out of the Irani team. I couldn't sleep for one month in anger, agony. Had this committee (new selection committee) come three years ago, things might have been different," said the 36-year-old left-hander.
Reminded about Sunil Gavaskar's comments that he and VVS Laxman are always put under pressure, Ganguly was at his sarcastic best.
"Everything happens in Indian cricket. When Greg Chappell dropped me, he chose T P Singh [former Railways player now with the ICL] to replace me. Where is he now?" Ganguly asked.
"Some have not scored any runs in the last three series, some have not scored any run during the last one year. Some have changed their hair style more number of times than the number of runs they have scored. I was dropped despite scoring the highest number of runs following my comeback."
Dropping from the Irani Trophy hurt Ganguly so much that he considered it more painful than being sacked from the team after the alleged spat with then coach Chappell.
"Exclusion from the Irani team hurt more. Then I thought, it is the end," he said, when asked which of the two was more painful.
But despite the trials and tribulations in his eventful but illustrious 16-year-long international cricketer, Ganguly is a satisfied man.
"I have played 109 Tests, over 300 ODIs. I am the fourth-highest run-getter in the country, the total runs in Tests and ODIs being 18,251. Ninth in the world. I took the team to the World Cup final. Defeated Australia in Australia. Won the series in Pakistan, altogether 21 Test wins. But you don't get everything you want," he said.
The Bengal stalwart said he carefully mulled over his retirement decision and thought it was the right time to go.
"I have thought over it a lot. I took the decision after considering everything. I thought it was the best time to go. I wanted to end the matter before the (Australia) series started. All speculation was telling on me. The selectors said something and did something else."
Asked if he was sad over the fact that he would not play again for India, Ganguly said, "I am also a human being. Cricket is a passion. Anybody will feel sad. But it is not as tough as I thought it will be. Now I feel a huge load has been removed."
On playing in the swansong series, the left-hander said he would want to end his career on a high by helping the team win the series against Australia.
"I aim at the team winning the series. It will be great if I end up on the winning side. I am concentrating on the four Tests," he said.
Meanwhile, the legendary Gavaskar said Ganguly's outburst against the selectors is "understandable" but he should have waited till the end of the series against Australia in order to maintain the harmony in the dressing room.
"I think the outburst is understandable; I only wish that this outburst was only after the series had been concluded," Gavaskar said.
"By saying all these things, he has not helped himself and I don't think he has helped harmony in the dressing room. All that he had to say, he could have said after the series was over," Gavaskar told CNN-IBN.
"Ever since he made his debut in 1991-92, there has been a gun pointed at Ganguly's head. Everybody has always presumed that he has got into the Indian team because of reasons other than cricket and he has to prove them wrong over and over again", Gavaskar said.
"So one is sympathetic with the way he is feeling... with what happened to him in recent times, being omitted from Rest of India squad when everybody else was picked to play," he added.
© 2024 Rediff.com -