The Sun followed that up with a second headline, "Another spine mess", to highlight the weakness of England's middle order during the team's 239-run loss at Lord's.
Michael Vaughan's team had resumed the fourth day in a near-hopeless position of 156 for five, chasing 420 to win, but caved in to 180 all out.
Kevin Pietersen added 22 runs to his overnight score to end on 64 not out, but no other batsman contributed a single run as the innings was wrapped up in 61 balls.
"You bunch of drips" was the Mirror's headline, reflecting the fact that England's only hope of saving the match had lain with the bad weather which washed out the first two sessions on Sunday.
The Daily Star was just as scathing, with "Vaughan's rabbits run for cover".
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The Telegraph, though, could not help joining in the fun by highlighting Pietersen's contribution.
Pietersen, a South African who qualified for England through his English mother, was the only home batsman to impress with two half-centuries on his debut but he also dropped three catches.
"Pietersen's only realistic claim to be recognised as English is by the catches he drops," Martin Johnson wrote in his column.
"After only one Test match Pietersen is already being talked about as good enough to get in the Australia team and, who knows, he might yet apply," Johnson added.