A day after Lancashire cancelled his contract, off-spinner Harbhajan Singh clarified that it was he who took the decision against joining the county side after finding his injured finger still swollen.
Harbhajan said he took the "difficult but honourable stand befitting a good professional" as he did not want Lancashire to be stranded mid-way through the county season.
"I am not the one who lets people down and I didn't want a situation where I could have stranded Lancashire midway through the county season," Harbhajan said on Saturday.
The ace off-spinner was all set to join Lancashire on Friday but thought it fit to bowl in the nets before leaving and see how his injured hand was responding. To his disappointment, he said, found it swelling up a bit and he didn't take a minute to arrive at the decision.
"It wouldn't have been ethical if I had still gone ahead and played for the county. After all, how could I have been sure it wouldn't play up in the middle of county season?
"Besides, I have to be sure any cricket decision I take suits me and, above all, my country, as nothing comes above than playing for India and ensuring I serve its interest to the best of my ability," he said.
He said, with India scheduled to meet Australia and New Zealand in the coming months, he felt it necessary to stay fit.
"India has tough assignments in the next season with opponents like New Zealand and Australia and it is in everyone's interest that I am not found wanting."
Harbhajan said even though he now has lost a lucrative contract and a chance to hone his skills to bowl on largely unresponsive tracks, he, at least, is being fair to his county, country and himself.
"By doing this honourable thing and informing Lancashire of my decision, I was being fair to them, my country and myself."
The bowler is now willing to put himself under the scanner again and, if need be, go under a surgeon's knife in order to get back to top fitness.
"I am now in Mumbai and will meet Dr (Anant) Joshi to seek his expertise on the matter. I will do in whatever he guides me -- whether to undergo surgery or seek an experts help in some other country."
Harbhajan has had pain in his bowling finger for quite some time now because of his unusual tight and spread bowling grip, causing a maximum possible gap to occur between his thumb and index finger.
He was literally dragged to play in the TVS Cup in Dhaka by skipper Sourav Ganguly in April but no sooner the event was over, than he went to South Africa to seek expert medical opinion and was gratified to learn he did not need surgery but only an extended rest to get his troublesome hand.
He then submitted himself to an extended break, hardly touching a cricket ball and delaying his stint in Lancashire till this month.
Lancashire, on their part, were equally understanding. It is a measure of how badly they wanted "Bhajji" that even though the season was well and truly underway, they still wanted to wait till the last minute to accommodate the Indian bowler.
As India's next assignment is against the touring New Zealanders in October, Harbhajan gets over three months to completely recover from the injury.
"I believe whatever happens, happens for the best. I've now more than three months to get back to top fitness and I will go to any length to ensure it happens.
"I'm sorry about missing out on Lancashire. Not because I've lost a lucrative contract but due to the fact that they were so full of understanding and I would've loved to help them in their campaign.
"I wish them best of luck. If I'm fit and at the top of my game, who knows, we might together in future."
