'I Like Being On The Brink Every Day'

'I want to make it on my own. But could you tell me where to start?'

Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi actor Vikas Sethi's sudden death shocked friends and colleagues in the television industry. The 48-year-old actor was among the hundreds of hopefuls who descend on Mumbai every year with dreams of making it big.

Vikas was a simple-hearted struggler, who never quite got over his struggle.

"I want to make it on my own. But could you tell me where to start?" he had once asked Subhash K Jha.

Subhash first got to know Vikas after his big screen debut in Deepak Tijori's directorial Oops in 2003, a bold, tongue-in-cheek satire on male strippers.

Vikas was promising and eager to score. But the opportunities were meagre. A fleeting part in Karan Johar's Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham as one of Poo's beefy dates didn't help.

Vikas had a brief stint of success with Ekta Kapoor's soap Kahiin To Hoga.

He said it changed his life.

"Frankly, I don't know where I'd have gone if it wasn't for Kahiin To Hoga. I worked 10 hours a day on this soap. Playing Swayam became second life for me. Sometimes, I forgot my own name. When my wife would call out for me, I would forget who Vikas is. Even in public, I'm known as Swayam. It's like finally finding my identity."

Vikas had spoken of his struggle.

"Before Ekta gave me Kahiin To Hoga. I was struggling for movie offers. I had a tough time meeting producers, let alone signing films. I had reached a point where I had begun to wonder if I was that bad. The film industry welcomes only well-connected actors. I can't remember the last time an outsider made it, except John Abraham. I believe my role in K3G had been offered to John. It's all destiny," he had said.

Vikas Sethi was hopeful about the big screen.

"Movies are movies. You can't compare it with success on television. It's like comparing a sandwich at a roadside stall with a meal in a 5-star restaurant. I'll do only one soap at a time, no more. Earlier, I've done just two other serials. This is my third. I've no plans of doing more. Where's the time?

"I get paid decently and my role is interesting. I like being on the brink every day. I don't know which way my character will topple over."