'You Go Through A Lot More Besides Winning & Losing'

'It's very heartening because it's a kind of underdog story and you know, we're not a big film, we're not with big people, we have not been able to plaster ourselves all over the place to make ourselves be seen and watched.'
'But still, we have managed to somehow get here.'

Laapataa Ladies may have lost its chance at the Oscars but India may still find its shining moment in the Shahana Goswami-starrer, Santosh, which has made it to the Oscar shortlist of 15 films in the Best International Feature Film category.

The shortlist pushes the film one step closer to the nominations, which will be announced on January 17.

While India is rejoicing, Shahana takes a break from a holiday in Thailand to heave a sigh of relief because "there's been a build-up".

"If one didn't make it to the shortlist, then the dream doesn't continue!" Shahana tells Ronjita Kulkarni/Rediff.com.

"I have this feeling that we might make it to the nomination! We'll see how it plays out."

But either way, Shahana is basking in her "small victory".

"It's a great feeling just knowing that Academy members have actually watched the film and voted for it, chosen it among many films. I'm really, really proud of that," she says.

Shahana feels it's an especially emotional moment for the film's director, British Indian Director Sandhya Suri.

"It's very heartening because it's a kind of underdog story and you know, we're not a big film, we're not with big people, we have not been able to plaster ourselves all over the place to make ourselves be seen and watched. But still, we have managed to somehow get here. So it gives a lot of hope that okay, something's working for the film," she says.

What are Shahana's plans for the Oscars should Santosh be nominated?

"There are many a slip between the cup and the lip but I would like to believe that this time, it will be not a slip but a plunge into the coffee or whatever one is drinking," Shahana says, with a laugh.

She definitely does not feel any red carpet pressure, having been a part of many international ones. Recently, she was the spotlight at Cannes, when Santosh received rave reviews.

"I have a great team that helps me, that really gets my vibe and makes me feel the look that I'm carrying. Today, I have a certain sense of loving confidence in myself and pride in who I am. So I'm able to be at ease with myself and be as honest as I feel in that moment. So it doesn't unnerve me. It's exciting!" Shahana exclaims.

"Besides, I've never been a person that takes on pressure in any form, even in terms of feeling responsible to be representing people.

"I've been an actor for 20 years and there's always this thing that people say, oh, don't you feel you have a responsibility towards your audience, your fans... but I think my responsibility is to be as real and as honest to myself as possible. So no, I don't feel any stress or pressure.

"It's great that we've got where we've got and the rest we'll see.

"Winning and losing is only one part of these journeys. There's a lot more that you go through, that is more nuanced and life-altering."

If Santosh does get nominated, or even wins, what impact would that have on Shahana's career?

"I don't know. It's constantly evolving. Of course, Santosh being a titular character, being the film that it is, having been watched all over the world in a certain way and now with all of this buzz around it, it is something special for me as an actor.

"Yet, there are so many things happening simultaneously, like Zwigato streaming on OTT and so many new people watching it, or Despatch, for which I've been getting a lot of love even though I'm there very briefly, or the Australian show Four Years Later that is now making its way to finding distribution all over the world on OTT.

"There's a whole bunch of things happening simultaneously which have led to creating a buzz around my work.

"So it's difficult for me to say Santosh specifically has done something but yeah, I do think that Santosh is at the peak of that wave of culmination. Now, it's going to be about a very different phase in my career, very different from what I expected it to be. I can't identify exactly what kind of change it will be but I know it will be big and profound," Shahana says.

Will this mean that Shahana will seek out only serious cinema? Or will she still do the occasional light role in films like say, Neeyat?

"It's not like I did Neeyat because I hadn't done Santosh then," she says, defending the frothy murder mystery.

"Neeyat was exciting to me because it was an exciting character. She was a character I had never played and nobody would ever think of me playing that kind of a character," she says.

"I have always wanted to do different kinds of things, and it's also about what you get offered. There's so much of drama-oriented work that comes my way which I welcome because clearly that's something that I'm good at.

"But I would be very happy to do more comedy or an action film or a sports film or a dance film or something totally outside of the realm of expectations that people have from me. What happens is, the more you do stuff that is similar to the work that is already out there, the more you get that same kind of work. That's how you get typecast. I'm somebody who likes to keep things fresh and different and constantly evolving.

"So I would honestly like to do anything that calls out to me."

So what if Santosh doesn't get nominated? Shahana has stoic words: "I don't take these things personally; I wouldn't feel bad if we didn't make it. I mean, of course, I'd feel bad for a moment but I am a big believer in the larger design of life.

"In moments when I feel lost and confused, I try to lean into the fact that it is playing out the way it's meant to. That gives me an opportunity to see how it plays out, rather than crying over spilt milk, and feeling bad and rejected."