'When It Happened To Me, I Was Shocked'

'I have had my share of unpleasant situations being a woman, like so many other actors have gone through.'
'I took it in my stride because I knew it happens.'
'What saved me was what my mother used to say: Education.'

Although the feisty Neena Gupta, who has just won a National Award for her film, Uunchai, worked with the best of directors in the early part of her career, she feels accepting small parts was a mistake.

"I have worked with Shyam Benegal, Kundan Shah and many film-makers but at that time, I got only smaller roles. I never got the main role, the leading lady. So I was always frustrated. I used to think I am more capable, I am quite good looking, so why wasn't I get it? But everywhere, it's the same thing," Neena Gupta tells Subhash K Jha.

"Film-making is a business, whatever sells, they take that. It's your market value because every film-maker has to have a financier. You have a good market value, then you get the leading part.

"I think the mistake I made was that I settled for smaller parts because one was desperate for work. So I was labelled a supporting actor. That changed with Badhaai Ho, but it took a long, long, time. I had a very good phase on television during Saans. I produced, directed, acted and did a variety of roles. I got good money also. But again, at that time, TV was smaller than films."

This, Neena feels, has changed now.

"All the big film-makers are going to the OTT platforms, actors are working on the OTT platforms now. But in my time, when I entered here, it was only films. It was a very difficult phase.

"Today's actors are lucky, as they have so many platforms. Film-making has also changed because of OTT platforms. Writers and directors are experimenting with newer subjects. You don't need a star for your project to be a hit. The best example is Panchayat. If the content is good, people will love it.

"We should stop thinking that people don't understand. The public understands everything. You give them something good, they will appreciate it. Writing is the most important part of any project. I think Panchayat has surpassed the level of writing. That's one reason why it is such a big hit."

It has never been a bed of roses for Neena.

"I have had my share of unpleasant situations being a woman, like so many other actors have gone through. I took it in my stride because I knew it happens. But when it happened to me, I was shocked.

"What saved me was what my mother used to say: Education. I did not compromise in that situation. I was confident that I am educated. I can do other things to earn a living. So I did not compromise and that saved me."

Neena has advice for girls who are stepping out in life: "I always tell younger girls that you should have a plan B. You should know how much you want to compromise. I have nothing against women who do compromise because their situation could be different than mine. Each to its own.

"I got saved because of my education. Even now, if I need work, if roles run out, I can do other things to earn my living. I believe in the dignity of labour. I believe no work is small."

Neena is thrilled with her National Award for Best Supporting Actor for Uunchai.

"I am very, very, happy," she says. "I was very surprised and grateful to everyone. I am patting myself on my back, saying, 'Baby, keep on working hard, you will get appreciation'."

"Funnily, the first project, if you can call it a project, that made me a little famous was an ad for Hawkins pressure cooker. After that, I struggled, struggled, struggled, for many years. Then, my serial Saans happened, which was a game-changer for me. After that, Badhaai Ho happened. These are the three things that changed my career path.

"I'm very proud of the girls today who are balancing their family life and their careers and are successful in both. It's a very difficult task.

"Earlier, if the heroine got married, she never got work. Now, actresses are working even after having kids. They work hard on their body. They lose weight. They look after their kids, their in-laws, their families, their parents and still work. So that is a very big thing."

Speaking on the institution of marriage, Neena says, "Our patience has grown very low because we live in a very complicated and competitive world. As women are getting more and more educated and financially independent, they won't take any nonsense from anybody. Marriage, I think, is a lot of compromise, a lot of adjustment. It's becoming more and more difficult.

"Actually, I'm confused as to what should happen: Should one live-in or stay single or adjust in a marriage, where they have a companion and children in their old age? I feel family is the most important thing in this world. Your work will come and go, your fame will come and go. You can be very successful and famous but eventually, it's the family you need as your strength.

"I think a very important reason for declining mental health and depression is because one is lonely. That problem will, I think, mount slowly and people will have to learn how to cope with it. And there is no right or wrong way, there is no easy way.

"You are single and lonely, that's a problem. You are in a bad marriage, that's a problem. You are divorced, that's a problem. Problems are everywhere. So it is up to you and your priorities. I have learned because I have been alone for almost more than half my life and it is very difficult."

Looking back at her career, Neena says, "I got my first break at the age of 60, and that changed everything for me. I became a good actress. I got solid roles and a lot of respect from the industry.

"If Badhaai Ho hadn't happened, I would still be doing small roles of a mother. I am really enjoying this phase. During the past three years, I have worked almost every day. Five-six of my projects are complete and awaiting release, which is making me a little anxious because you work so that more and more people watch you and your work, and praise you for your work.

Neena has no regrets about being a single mother.

"I think my being a single mother has been talked about a lot. But it was not planned. I just went with it. I am very happy that I have such a beautiful daughter. If I want to change anything in my life, I want to change everything, apart from Masaba. I would want a normal, happily married life with a good career."